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Parenting

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Caught my ex watching adult videos while looking after our child

2 replies

Sunshine231 · 26/07/2026 09:05

Not long separated and we have a joint gmail account we used for bills. I was trying to sort out changing names on the accounts and stuff and realised my ex has changed passwords on some of our bill accounts. I asked him and he said he hasn’t been on them. As he is prone to gaslighting me I checked google activity to see if I could pinpoint when he had done it and instead I found he had been looking at porn while looking after our 2 yo. He has an android phone and it logs internet history when logged into the gmail account.

I could see the date and times were just after I’d dropped our child off so I know said child was awake at the time. I confronted him and he admitted he had seen some “content creators” on Instagram so he’d looked up their names and then porn came up so he’d scrolled it for a while but he hadn’t touched himself or anything. I can believe that because he used to do this during our relationship and I’ve caught him multiple times scrolling porn which he says he does when he is bored or depressed.

He says I’m psychotic for getting upset over it, is this as big a deal as I think it is? I cannot fathom why anyone would look at porn in the same room as a child 🤷‍♀️ we are under a voluntary children’s services team due to his abusive behaviour towards me in front of the kids but they visited him and did not have any concerns about his parenting to warrant me stopping contact. Is this reason enough they would take further action?

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Sherararara · 26/07/2026 09:13

Well it’s not great even more so given being under the children services team but equally looking after a 2 yo is pretty boring so I imagine it nothing more than the male equivalent of doom scrolling. The bigger concern is your kidding yourself if you think that when they are together they are having quality parent and child time. Porn or not he’s on his phone most of the time ignoring the child. However, how many women can say they dont do the same?

Sunshine231 · 26/07/2026 09:24

That’s exactly what my ex says, he says all men do it. It’s not a big deal. He wasn’t turned on he was just scrolling it and our child was in the dining room while he was sat on the living room sofa (it’s an open plan flat). I just think it’s so wrong to be looking at naked women while a child could easily come over and see.

Regarding the being on the phone thing, he certainly used to sit scrolling a lot while around the kids when we were together so I wouldn’t especially be surprised to know he just sits on his phone instead of being present with the kids. I agree it’s not ideal and I did mention it to the family support worker but she didn’t seem very bothered about it 🤷‍♀️ edited to add: I mean I mentioned about the scrolling to the support worker, not the porn yet because I’ve only just discovered this

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