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Parenting

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How do you respond to a child’s self-critical negativity?

1 reply

Pigwig22 · 22/07/2026 15:07

What do you say when your child is down about themselves or is having issues with friends etc?

My 9yo DD is always very negative about herself, is adament others are better than her at everything. She's also getting to the age where there are the usual girly fights. Nothing I am overly concerned about, but she is very very sensitive especially if someone picks on something she has or is or does.

She off loads these things on me, which is good and healthy, but I don't really know what to say or what she's looking for. I've done ok with some of the girly stuff saying she should say back: "why do you care what bag I have" etc but she is worried she will get told off or they will lie about what she has said and she will be seen as a bully.

I am at a loss on what to say about her overall negativity. I tell her that our brain focuses too much on the negatives sometimes and we need to think about the positives, I've bought her a journal, I've sympathised, I've tried to discourage comparison, I've explained that we only learn when we get something wrong etc. Nothing lands.

We seem to be in a bit of a pit and I worry this is going to grow if I don't help her refocus her negativity and be more positive.

Any thoughts on best way to repond?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Luckymummyx3 · 22/07/2026 22:16

Following because my 6yo DS is like this too and I don’t know how to respond either.

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