Working From Home + School Holidays = Panic. Help!

[reluctantfarmerswife]

Hey everyone, this is my first ever Mumsnet post, but I'm a long-time lurker. I have a 5-year-old boy, and I work full-time from home. I'm self-employed, so I can control when I work, but as my husband is a farmer, and it's their busiest time of year, I'm getting really worried about the upcoming school holiday.

My little boy gets REALLY upset when I get my laptop out to work, and of course being 5, he can't stop himself saying "Mummy, mummy, mummy!" every five seconds. I end up feeling massively guilty for working, and I just wondered how other WFH mums are handling the holidays.

I don't have a lot of family around to help out. His school is running a holiday camp, and although he loves it when he's there, it's a battle and tears to get him there in the first place. So again, massive mum guilt. Plus, it doesn't help that it's AT school, so he sees it as going TO school.

Thanks for any advice you can offer!

Are there any other holiday providers in your area? What are his friends doing?

He needs childcare of some sort. Obviously you and your husband are both busy with work and cannot meet his needs. This could be a nanny, home daycare, grandparent, friend, or holiday camp.

I’m assuming you’ve got some annual leave booked for some days/a week or so?

What helps me is booking a few half days as well so they get tv/craft time in the morning, then I work 8-12 and we have lunch and the afternoon together so it doesn’t feel as bad and I don’t feel as guilty.

Kids with working parents have to go to a childcare provision, that's life!

Can you afford to take a week off at some point? Mark it on the calendar so he knows when you're around and you can do nice things together?

It's probably a bit late this year, but I used to get my dc involved in choosing what they'd do in the summer. But they never had any questions that they had to go to some sort of childcare. Next year, he might prefer a childminder perhaps, so it's more homey?

You need to use childcare.

A few different options-
take some annual leave
work in the evenings/early mornings when he is asleep
joliday clubs that are not at achool

it is a tricky part of the year but this will not be the only year you will face this

You need to send him to the holiday club.

I don't know how flexible your self employment is but it's impossible to wfh and properly care for a 5 year old. Given he is 5 I am assuming he goes to bed quite early? Can you work evenings? Can your DH take him out for a couple of hours in the morning? Is there a crèche anywhere near you eg at a leisure centre where you can work? I could do the odd half hour aged 5 if I set up a drink and snacks and had their favourite programme on and sat beside them. Do they have a favourite movie? Is there anyone nearby you can swap with or have their kid one morning and they have yours the next? Multi tasking is so hard and you can't expect a 5 year old to entertain themselves all day. You either need to work less or get childcare.

Local babysitter? Someone studying childcare at nearest college?

She says she’s self employed. Booking annual leave isn’t a thing for the self employed. If she doesn’t work she doesn’t earn.

You need a plan for every week of the holidays - this is what every working parent with young non independent dc in the uk has to do! It will like be a mix of holiday clubs, working short days, taking leave, sending then to grand parents or other relatives, having relatives to stay - you get the idea. Can you manage your work in future years so you take a month or so off?

Sorry but you need childcare of some sort

Ask on local groups of there are any teenagers who could play with him in your home for a few hours a day.

Childcare, shifting your hours around so you work in the evenings/at times when your DH can watch him, taking time off entirely.

Appreciate your DH’s job makes this difficult but he has to be involved in finding a solution too. This isn’t just your issue to solve. Can he accompany his dad in some of the farming tasks? Can you sit down and work out a schedule?

Soft play etc you can take a laptop along and work, maybe some other classes/activities if he wont go solo, you can sit nearby and work?

Obviously you need to pay for childcare or take annual leave. That’s normal. What you don’t do is work with a small child at home, which would generally be a disciplinary offence if you worked for a company.

He will need to go the holiday club at 5 would think , my kids have always gone to them - try not to feel guilty and don’t look at socials! Your providing for your family

I’ve got zero advice because my daughter is yet to start school but she is starting in September and I’m at a loss at to what we’re supposed to do during school holidays and I know most parents deal with this all the time, but when your new to it it’s definitely a daunting thought about how your going to juggle everything.

I also wfh, for a company but with completely flexible hours so I’m going to take some holiday / work some hours in evenings / hope daughter can entertain herself for some of the time and grandparents will have her 1 day a week which they already do now. Luckily I only work 3 days a week at the moment. I also have a 2 year old, but he will be in year round nursery.

Like the rest of the nation you need to arrange appropriate childcare for the holidays whilst you work.
This needs doing in advance of a week before the holidays.

Are there any other holiday clubs? Where I live there are limited full day options, but loads if activity based school hours ones if you can plan your work round that.

Depending on the type of farm work can some of it be spent with dad? Most of the 5 -10 year old farm boys I've known across the years would be delighted with a day bouncing around in the tractor cab with daddy.

You are going to feel guilty either way so might as well feel guilty whilst being able to properly get on with earning money - use the holiday club

the juggle is real! I work full time in the office and my OH works from home. I have a 9yo and a 6yo. 9yo will go out and play with her friends like it’s the 90s and my 6 yo is autistic and will happily play by himself and watch tv. This will be peppered by grandparents helping out a day or two a week.

we go away the first and last week of the hols. This year will be the hardest OP, it gets easier as they get older

Anyone with a similar aged child you can set up a reciprocal arrangement with?

This is what gives WFH a bad name.

I WFH mainly and I book childcare or annual leave. You can’t work and look after young children.

Yes my kids both hated the holiday club at their school. They actually preferred the one at the next primary school because at least it was a change of scenery!

I could usually get around the tears a little bit by saying “this morning, why don’t we go to holiday club on your bicycle and then on the way home later today we can stop at the shop and buy an ice lolly?” So this makes the going fun, and something to look forward to at the end of the day.

Or I might arrange to walk with a friend so he arrives at club with a buddy.

oh another tip is to tell dc that he has to do some handwriting and phonic and maths practice in the morning to keep up his learning ready for next year - but on holiday club days, let him skip it! Then he’ll associate holiday club with avoiding work

My ds is now 7 and doesn’t have a single day “at school” this summer

You need childcare