Would you still do a long car journey with a car hating baby?

[Comfyinslippers99]

We are due to go do Devon for a week this summer, with dd5 and ds4 months, but DS screams in the car after about 5 minutes and spits his dummy out, which is usually a really good soother. We booked it before he arrived in the hope he’d be a car snoozer, but he isn’t. The drive is likely to be over 4 hours, not including stops to feed/ stretch etc. Is it really unkind to still plan to travel, despite DS’s distress? DD hated the car as a baby and as a result, I never went anywhere, which led to a very limited mat leave. DD could really do with a holiday/ break after a long first year at school and I feel I need to continue my life for my own mental health. What would you do?

yeah I'd just get on with it!

lots of babies don't get on with the car under 6 months but it's good to carry on or they never get used to it and you are stuck.

Sounds awful but also I don’t think it’s safe for the driver if the baby will cry a lot. Do you think baby would fall asleep for enough of the drive? Or could you do the drive at their bedtime? Personally I’d get the train with baby, and let your partner drive with DD (or vice versa)

I would cancel and go somewhere closer to home if you can?

We would do drives like that in the evening/night when baby would sleep.

Its rubbish, plenty of times we didn’t get more than 30 minutes away before we had to have our first stop

this time next year it’ll be easier

He’s driving himself now and seem to have got over his car hatred. But when DS was little and we still lived in the city I chose public transport and pushchair over car every time.

The screaming was not worth the “comfort” of car travel.

Everybody else driving their tiny insomniacs to sleep. I was so jealous.

No, I wouldn't. Adjust travel plans. Either change your destination or take the train.

My DS hated the car, 10 minutes was his limit, we would manage 45 minutes with me being a one woman show singing, games, stickers etc, but even that was short lived. He would sometimes pass out and sleep but it was for 30 minutes max and he would wake up REALLY pissed off.

We travelled loads but not by car. Plane or train every time.

No way would I be wasting the good weather and depriving your lovely daughter of a holiday just for this.
Ear plugs for everyone except the driver. Tune out. Get on with it.

The train is quite an effort too, involves train into London, tube and then 2 changes to get 45 mins from the ultimate destination. I’m seriously considering changing our plans, but not sure what else we would be able to afford after losing the money from this trip. I just don’t understand why both my children are like this as babies. None of my friends or family have babies that cry consistently in the car and they just can’t understand my issue.

Who is driving and how safe would it be for all if you if thr baby is screaming and distracting? My husband just didn't get bothered by screaming but for me it really distressed me and caused a biological stress response, whether he was driving or I was!

Either me or DH. DD in the back with DS, slowly going insane due to her brother’s screams! Even her yoto headphones don’t cut it!

Id rebook and go to Norfolk - its great woth little ones and way easier to get to

Can you sit in the back too?
That's the only way we managed with our screaming baby.
My husband said it didn't bother him while driving. I couldn't drive at all with her like that.

From personal experience and from a few years on MN there are loads of babies who are this way!

They're often too hot, don't get enough ventilation (air flow poor in the back compared with the front and even less when rear-facing, can't see the sky or the horizon. I've also seen people suggest that their nappies dig in when sitting at that angle.

We dont have a car so we only had to deal with it occasionally but mine only settled once he was forward-facing.

Then it wouldn't be enjoyable for your eldest either, or baby (and if you're like me you'd be stressed too). It wouldn't be just 4 hours...it would be 4 hours back as well.

There are things you could try like ear defenders for baby (cast your own judgement on safety wearing ear defenders in a baby carseat), putting your eldest's car seat in the front seat and you sit in the back with baby for example.

Personally I would rearrange or find somewhere closer to home for this year.

Neither of my dds liked car journeys as babies/toddlers and we used buses and trains a lot instead. It didn't limit us too much as we travel from London so connections tend to be easy, and we chose holiday lets where we could borrow baby equipment and I ebf so not too much extra to carry. We did holidays to Wales, Cornwall, Scotland, Isle of Wight, France, Netherlands so not using a car doesn't have to restrict you.

The enjoyment of the weeks holiday may outweigh the stress of the drive down!

It would be quite mad to lose money on the trip because a baby will cry in the car.

Babies cry, just take it easy, listen to some music (the happy song on repeat), get some ear plugs. Keep your sense of humour about you. It will be ok!

Definitely still go, do not rule your life by a baby’s preferences. Think of all the people (including us) with a long car journey to see family. Of course we will go even if the baby screams.

things we did when they were little- drive in the evening in the hope they sleep. One adult sits in back with baby and gives them a bottle every time they scream. Take them swimming before driving to encourage sleep.

Yes, exactly. When you have long distance family or dual nationality family (like us) you can't be restricted like that. Just gotta keep on trucking.

I once took off my top in an islamic country, made a makeshift shirt curtain, and leaned over the car seat to get my boob in dd's mouth. Good times.