Adult daughter with anxiety issues

[Parentingishardwork]

I have a 24 year old daughter who has anxiety over the slightest thing - medication, going out, lumps & bumps on her body. I am worried she is going to lose her job as she a meeting at work about her performance. She doesn't care as she hates her job but I won't let her freeload off me. She went to uni but can't get a job in her field until she's passed her driving test so I am the one who takes her out driving although she is having proper lessons. We went to Dr and he prescribed anti-depressants but she was so scared by side effects of suicide in young adults she wouldn't take them. She has made progress in that she will go to drs on her own and take a bus to town. She doesn't go out much, just stays home gaming. She thinks she has autism and wants to be tested. I have suggested private counselling as NHS wasn't much help Any suggestions from parents with young adults or tips. I'm trying to be a supportive mum but I work full time, have a partner who is disabled and has lots of hospital appointments I need to attend and my daughter's dad is not very helpful.

Oh I am so sorry for you.

It's so difficult to normalise things when people go off the rails as a young adult.

Is there a root cause of this issue you can identify?

If she is autistic, that can cause anxiety in itself over the years. I would get your DD into therapy, get her the assessment (a diagnosis can make such a difference to understanding yourself and feeling better about how you experience the world). If she's not, then maybe she'll get some insight into what's really going on.

I have been there and my advice would be that you help your DD financially as you might any other child who had a sickness. Mental health issues are no less valid than physical health issues. She may need to work part time for a while.

I've been in a similar position.

If your child broke her leg and was struggling
you can see that ( leg in plaster) you’d help her

just because Anxiety is an illness you can’t physically see doesn’t mean she you wouldnt help somebody

Anxiety when bad can escalate before you know it, it’s a very hard illness to deal with alone
plus if she’s is Autistic she’s struggling already
Get her tested privately instead of antidepressants- unless she deteriorates or it gets too much to cope with

just because your partner is disabled and has hospital appointments he’s not sicker than your dd because hers is mental and you can’t physically see it

Just quoting because your post bears repeating. This DD needs support.

thereisnomeaning

And , Have you a problem with this ?

No, I'm completely agreeing with you. Thought that was obvious.

I agree with others, an autism assessment would be helpful for her in understanding herself.

try not to fall into fixing things for her - she needs to work out how she’s going to work through these difficulties. If she’s in the wrong job, she needs to look at what would be better for her in terms of her interests and also her health

As I started reading this, I wondered if she might be neurodivergent. I would support her getting an assessment. I found out I’m autistic and have ADHD as an adult and it explained so much! It also helped me to find therapy that worked well for me (where previous therapy was less successful).

Thank you for this. I didn't think that getting her diagnosed would help but she wants to do it and if it helps her get the right therapy and makes her happier I am obviously all for it.