My baby daughter is 1 year and 5 months already. I realised too late she has a flat heads, so we can’t use a helmet therapy. In fact, they say there is nothing that can be done anymore, but I see it is between moderate and severe. I know you are wondering how I did not see before. I kinda seen it and I asked 3 doctors and 4 other medical professionals (both NHS and one abroad) and they all told me she looks perfectly fine to them and it will go away by itself, just do a tummy time. My daughter slept hours on my lap, did tummy time and I breastfed her, but when I was putting her in a cot I did try to put her straight and stupidly, when she turned, in the early months, I did turn her back facing the ceiling because I was paranoid of SIDS and following guidelines from NHS tried to prevent her from sleeping in a ‘not safe’ position. It’s my and my husband’s first baby, we don’t have a family around us to support, as we both are foreigners, so when I felt she looks odd I just asked professionals and they all told me it is nothing to be bothered about. But I accidentally seen a post showing severe flathead and realised it’s exactly what we have. And treatment is too late. I am so angry at myself and at everyone around me for telling to ignore this. Now I keep reading about it, everyone keeps repeating this happens to negligent parents and I just can’t stop thinking how my daughter now will have to live her life with a sign of neglect. I cry a lot about it but obviously it doesn’t make my guilt disappear, so I am just trying to understand how much I actually ruined her life. It feels like I failed her forever. It feels like many people had it but fixed it on time. All babies around me don’t have this issue (how come it’s just me who screwed it up???!)
basically, I guess, my question is - how do you live knowing you failed your baby? And does it really matter as much as I imagine it?