Tips for moving a neurodivergent 3-year-old into his own room

[empathyflo]

Hi all,

I have a 3.5-year-old son who is likely neurodivergent and currently on the pathway for assessment/diagnosis (I suspect high-functioning autism, possibly ADHD too).

My partner and I need to transition him from our bedroom into his own room fairly soon due to expecting another baby, and we’d really like to make this as smooth as possible for everyone. He finds transitions and changes to routine difficult, so I’d really value any tips or advice from parents with experience of neurodivergent children and/or moving a child into their own bedroom.

Any practical suggestions or things that worked well would be hugely appreciated 🙏

Does he have any special interests like trains or dinosaurs or cartoon/tv characters that he likes? If so, I would incorporate that into decorating his new room and make it a lovely place where he wants to be. You can buy bedding sets with bluey or whoever he like and if he plays with toy cars you can buy a big rug with roads on like this -https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/lillabo-rug-green-70609990/?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=19843024716&gclid=CjwKCAjwrNrQBhBjEiwAoR4VO2GAy_0SsQiF0lTKWRf0XPkyCM7O1YiWKC9PfeaZC3txsUVLXzGTeRoC-BAQAvD_BwE

When it comes to settling in his new bed, I would start off reading stories and cuddles and then stay and sit by the bed until he's asleep. You will probably have some tricky nights and will need to be patient. Don't take him back into your room, though, once you've made the decision it's best to tough it out. Give him a little water bottle and a nightlight and a special cuddly toy to sleep with. It's just going to take time and patience and lots of reassurance and praise.

My DC are NT but very attached to cosleeping. For their rooms, we opted for low to the ground double beds. When / if they wake at night we go to them instead of the other way around.

My eldest is very sensitive, so we got a night light that we used in our room for a few weeks. Then moved that across to their room with them for familiarity in the dark.

For my youngest, I put a double bed in their room straight away and slept in their with them. It was a much easier transition as I was moving out of their space instead of moving them out of mine. An idea for the baby if space allows.

We had to give our dd options and accept that she was not ready to spend the entire night in her own room. She had a bedroom, but she just had to start the night there. Eventually when she came to our room she was in a separate bed from ours (unless it was a particularly bad night).

Slowly over time, we realized the little pallet bed we had available had been leaning against the wall for a long time and we got rid of it. This was several years. She just wasn’t ready before then.

Are there things that you use now which can be carried over? My ND DC2 liked a music and light show thing and we carried this on in their new room.

As a PP suggested, I’d leave a non-spill cup of water and a night light on. I suppose that does depend on how his behaviour is though. If he’s likely to fixate on the cup and end up having a wet bed it might be easier to just go into him when he’s thirsty.

Try and get him used to DH doing all of his night time care too from today. You’ll find it very difficult if you are seeing to two DC all night and DH has managed 8 hours of sleep.

Thank you very much to all who have replied and for all the helpful suggestions ❤

@Endofyear great idea re using his special interests to make room inviting. Spot on, he loves trains and Bluey 😁

@icedcoffeetomyveins I agree it's better to get a low to the ground bed. Was going to put his cot bed in his room but think I'll invest in a new bed for him 😀

@Ponderingwindow thanks for sharing your experience. Can guarantee our son won't sleep through in his own room immediately, so a mattress on the floor in our room initially is a great idea 😀

@TinyMouseTheatre Yes, my son has specific toys he likes to sleep with as well as a non-spill cup. Great idea on DH doing the new night time routine 😀