Mum of teen daughter am I being too suspicious?

[Itsallsonew]

Sooo as a mum of daughters what are your thoughts? add always oversleeps.. but today I heard her creeping around the house about 5.30 am.. up and down the stairs and in dss room .. I went up to see what she was doing and she was dressed fully made up and hair done .. on her phone and wide awake.. no good reason.. just she went to get a drink then didn’t, is just awake and yeah it must seem odd? Am I being overly suspicious.. oh and I asked her who she was on the phone to and she locked it!???

How old is she?

Suspicious of what? Why do you call it creeping around in her own home?
The whole tone of this is weird.

Almost 15

I’d be checking her phone carefully.

Well obviously that's weird. She's a child, take her phone and see who she was talking to. She could be being groomed

Sorry if this seems a weird tone but it is very unusual behaviour for my teenage daughter. She is not normally awake or made up at this time.

Yeah .. I will have to take on that battle today.. but she also knows I need to be at the hospital first thing to sort out my mums end of life care.. so will probably have to be later. :(

Dss- stepson? Are you saying she was in a boy she is not related to room at 530am? How old? If that's the case I would be concerned.

Also agree checking phone.

Could she have been sneaking back in?

Why is it going to be a battle?

Hm, not that weird in this house, my dd1 keeps weird hours sometimes...their sleep pattern can get messed up in the teenage years. She would do a full face if make up then just wash it all off again just for the fun of doing the makeup because she was awake and what else would she do.

If it's out of character though there's obvs the potential for it to be dodgy. How old is dad, does she carry a wee torch for him? Is there anywhere she could be going at 5am?

he isn’t there.. the room is empty but I heard her go in his room as it’s above ours. He is only 8 and with his mum in the week

@ThejoyofNC do you have teenagers? Lucky for you if you have quiet compliant ones, these things are not straightforward with a feisty teen. My dd2 would hand it over no problem, dd1 different story.

Sorry autocorrected from dss to dad! I see he's 8 so not that anyway!

Yeah the make up and sleep pattern bit is true but she wouldn’t normally walk around the house as finds it creepy at night. Step son is little and not here. I wondered if she had gone out then come back in as I was sure I heard the door.. it’s all very odd. She gave me a pinky promise (which means nothing that she went outside) re phone she always has a total melt down when I check her phone because it’s a infringement of trust and privacy 🤦🏻‍♀️

So she is hiding something in that room. Take the phone with you this morning. Check the room with a fine tooth comb.

Haha, mine does this too! Just for the fun of it apparently!

It is odd. But then teens sometimes do odd things that are benign they just get an idea in their heads. Dd2 aged 16 did similar yesterday she’s normally a lie in like most teens but I was still in bed heard the door go at 9am she went to gym then did a days revision.

I bet she was creeping back in. She’s young and you need to find out what she’s up to.

I’m sorry to hear about your mum, you have so much on your plate.

It’s very normal for teens to turn nocturnal especially when it’s school holidays. And hard to keep communication open with teens that like privacy, mine also didn’t want their phones checked, it’s a tightrope for a parent.

Today I would focus on what your mum needs. With DD I would not confront but would drop various grooming horror stories into conversation.

Thank you. We just had a chat she told me she is seeing a boy and kept it a secret so brother and step dad don’t be annoying about it. She showed me her phone and took me through contacts. I told her she is not going back to sleep today and can clean her room. She accepted it all very well which is still unusual so I will just monitor her discreetly.

DD and her friends get all dressed up and do group video calls on the weekends. Could she be doing that? It’s the equivalent of me going out on a Friday night with absolutely no plans except to chill with the rest of the teenagers (whose plans also only stretched as far as meeting at the popular spot). It’s weird to me, but at least she’s not hanging out on the streets like I would have been! I suppose this generation is different - lockdown changed a lot about the way young people interact.

Just seen the update. So was she out of the house or on a video call?

Video call also with friend group like mentioned above.

One worry I’d have would be about her sleep - pretty prosaic but really important. I’d want phones going in a lockbox 10pm til, say, 7am each night