Family member held my 8 week old with a coldsore

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Hi everyone,

Yesterday we had family round and one of them had a cold sore and held my 8 week old baby; she didn’t kiss her however did hold and I was stupidly embarrassed to tell them no and now I’m panicking after reading how dangerous it can be, my baby did throw her dummy out of her mouth where the family member then touched the dummy and put it back in her mouth and I’m just so worried now. My baby also has her vaccines tomorrow and now I’m thinking if I should postpone it in case she gets a cold sore? Is she likely to get it if she just was held by the person without direct skin contact? 😭

It'll be fine. If she didn't kiss her the risk of transmission is really small. Definitely go ahead with the vaccinations.

I hope so, I just can’t believe how stupid I was not to say anything. I’m just panicking so much now 😭

She didn't kiss he so the risk of transmitting it is very tiny. But next Tim say no! Two of my friends got very arsy but neither of my kids have cold sores and both of theirs do.

For some reason they like to say they didn't catch cold sores they were born with them

You shouldn't have even been put in this position OP, I would expect most people are aware of the dangers around coldsores and newborns. But luckily they didn't kiss the baby so don't worry. Just remember next time to speak up. I understand though, sometimes in the situation you're caught of guard and only think of what to say after x

I definitely will, I know it makes it worse as it was my partners family members and not mine so I just didn’t know what to say. I’ve never got a cold sore in my life but my mum and sister always gets them and I read that it’s more dangerous if the birth parent has never got it so the baby does not have the antibodies too😭

Do calm down OP she is highly likely to be fine. I get cold sores all the time and had them pretty constantly or at least once a month when DD was small and whilst I avoided kissing her I obviously still held her and she DD didn't get one until she was about 6.

I didn’t know this but it makes perfect sense! People who have them don’t care about spreading them

I get really bad cold sores and had one when my child was only a few days old, mine flare up with being run down. Anyway, obviously it was horrible and I was so paranoid because I was so close to my new baby. But I was just careful and washed hands lots etc. your baby will be fine, try not to worry. mine got chicken pox at 8 weeks old as older sibling had it :(! Xx

I know, I’ve been just panicking and googling all day. I should’ve spoken up, she had RSV from her sibling just only 2 weeks ago and now I’m worried sick about her getting this. I feel so guilty and can’t stop blaming myself for this. 😭

It’s ok, we’ve all had a moment where we just don’t know what to say or do. Take a moment to write a little script in your head, something you rehearse over and over, so when you inevitably face a similar situation in the future, you’re ready. Sometimes it’s more about your composure and delivery, stay calm and confident and keep breathing.

It’s so scary because they’re just so little and have no protection from it. Oh no, that is so scary I’m sorry that happened. How was your baby when they had chickenpox ?😭 x

“Oh! Dr has reminded us that cold sores can be deadly. No touching the baby this visit if you are having an outbreak.”

what Did the cold sore look like? Was it crusty?x

of course people care and don't want to spread them! I have coldsores and am extra careful around my kids and anyone else when I have one as I would hate to give them to anyone else as I know how horrible they are.

Yeah I definitely do know now what to say, what makes it worse is when she first came she said I won’t touch the baby or anything but few drinks later, she took the baby from my mum and was holding her and I just was in shock from it all. Later on she tried to take her again but I said she needed milk 😭

I believe it was a bit crusty honestly I can’t remember it all well because I’m panicking and it’s gone from my brain😭

Of course people care about not spreading their cold sores. I used to get cold sores springing up every month with my cycle and neither my now adult sons nor my husband have caught them from me.

she was fine actually, I was a bit traumatised I was like omg I can’t believe she’s got chicken pox this young but she was fine. She got shingles at about a year old and she was in so much pain with that, but she’s fine now she’s 5.

if it was crusty then that’s good. I know they say like it’s infectious from start until the scab is gone, but most people when it’s crusty is pretty much the end I think.

I think the most infectious time is when they are like swollen and full of fluid, and it’s agony and it’s like the texture of when you get a blister on your foot and it’s full. Then when that fluid goes after a a couple of days a scab starts to come. xxx

That is good that she was fine, oh gosh that does sound so scary. I wish that we can just keep them in a bubble and protect them from the world and all the nasty illnesses😭

I think it was a bit crusty, it definitely didn’t look swollen or like there was fluid if I can remember correctly. I just need to speak up next time, when my sister had it a week ago I told her not to touch my kids but I was more confident in that as she is my sister, but when it’s not direct family member it is way more awkward ugh just feel so stupid 😭 xx

If it reassures you at all, it's highly likely you have been exposed to the virus if your mum and sister get them. About 70% of adults have been exposed to the coldsore virus, but only 1 in 3 people then display symptoms (as in, develop a coldsore) - the majority dont realise. So if the antibodies thing is true, it's very possible you have passed them on after all.

If she wasn't touching her lips abd didn't kiss your baby the risk is low, but next time you'll know you can say no.

I know it’s really hard, I said it to be people 😂 please don’t touch my baby. Try not to worry anymore xxx

Oh I definitely did not know that, thank you that has made me feel a bit better if it true about the antibody.

yeah I’ve learnt my lesson to say no, no matter who it is. Just didn’t think that some people are so careless around newborns 😭

I definitely will say this from now on especially now knowing the risks. Should I mention it to the nurse tomorrow before my baby gets the vaccination just in case as with my first when he would be unwell they wouldn’t give him the vaccination til he got better x

If it's crusty, so no blisters anymore, you'll be fine, it's like any other scab.

I get cold sores and people give you looks when you have visible scabs, but it's the blistery, less visible stage that is infectious.

Also, as someone else said, the vast majority of people are carriers. There is no way of predicting whether you'd get actual cold sores. A friend once got very worry when a (foreign) blood test result said she carried herpes...

if you feel happier mentioning it then mention it, do what you feel comfortable with. She will probably say it’s fine don’t worry but at least you might feel happier saying it :) xx