awful day potty training - should I persevere?

[ionesmum]

Dd1 is 2 yrs 10 mo, and is very bright. We have just started potty training as she has shown no interest before, but has lately started to use her potty every now and then. She has been in knickers all day and has got through six pairs! She laughs when she wees on the floor, I think she actually enjoys how it feels. We've tried a star chart and bribery but she isn't really motivated by these. By the end of the day dd1 seemed really cheesed off with us being on at her about her potty, wee, poo etc and was so delighted to get her nappy on at bed time.

I am also trying to get dd2 (9mo) sorted into some kind of structured day following illness, but have barely had time today. I feel more motivated to get this sorted and am totally drained by training dd1 but realise dd1 must also get trained and this week is quiet and ideal as we are at home. I don't know wghat to do and any advice would be really welcome.

seeing as its the holidays and have the heating on all the time - have you tried her with no knickers? when i was night training my ds1 the only thing that worked was taking his pj bottoms off - as i think the feeling of elastic makes them think of a nappy which is essentially what i had been training him to use for the past 3 years! we also bought a doll that had a potty and wet herself from woollies for about £6 which helped to reinforce the idea - we also used a combination of grapes/raisins/choc buttons every time he was sucessful and he was only allowed treats during this time. the other thing we did was instead of talking about 'wet', we used the word 'dry'. i would check every 15 mins and say have you got dry pants? and check them with him with lots of praise and encouragement then over the nextt couple of days gradually got him to check himself with lots of praise and got him to check the doll. when there were accidents, i gave no reaction.. when we felt confident about using pants, we bought some with his favourite story characters on.try and not take it personally when she does have accidents -just keep accentuating the positive and she will get there. we also bought 3 potties for kitchen, living room and bathroom and reminded him where they were should he need to go. try saying 'i need a wee' when you need to go and take her with you - if you can cope with the loss of dignity use the potty to help further the cause! i can remember not going out the first week and carrying a potty under the pram for months

We went through loads of wet or dirty pants with DD for a while, she thought it was fun watching me making a mad dash to the loo for her potty only to be confronted by wet leggings and inevitably her shoes! But now at 2 and 6 months the whole thing seems to have clicked. It used to be that if she was busy doing something she would not be quick enough to tell us she needed her potty, or she would wee first then ask for her potty later! Once she realised that she could hold in the wee and knew when she needed one, she got the hang of it. Now she even goes and fetches her potty herself, strips off and sits down. I once caught her flushing a poo down the loo and trying to clean out the potty (bless her!)
I was wary about going out in public without a nappy, but now we try to use the potty before we go out. Today at Tesco she told me she needed to go, so we abandoned dad with the trolley and dashed off to the toilet where she gripped me like a white knuckle ride at alton towers while she did a wee. She likes trying out the different taps on the hand basins, so the washing hands is easy.

I thought it would never end, but after about 4 weeks, she has finally got the hang of it!

Good luck, maybe your DD is still at the laughing at mommy bit yet. She will soon get fed up of wet pants.

someone at work suggested that I rub her nose in any mess she made.
Hmm, gave him a stern look and did not heed the advice.
My best tip is to relax and not make a fuss about it, then she won't get fed up of your nagging, but make sure the potty is close at hand.

Good luck DS1 now nearly 3 and a half, never ever tells me that he needs to go and will quite happily wet himself and then not say anything.

My DH potty trained DD just after her 2nd birthday by:

keeping her nappy off for the whole day;
staying in the kitchen where we have stone floors(it's large, has a TV/play area in it);
watching her constantly to see if she was about to do a wee or poo;
telling her constantly where the potty was and what she was to use it for;
when he noticed she was going to wee he shouted STOP and she stopped and then restarted when he put her on the potty;
praised her when she did do a wee on the potty;

He did this over a saturday and sunday which was boring as she couldn't go out but after those two days she was trained. She did of course initially have accidents either in the house or while out but I took spare clothing with me.

About 6wks before her potty training, we made a big deal of using the loo and explaining that when she was a big girl she would be using the the loo as well. My DH would say how clever Mummy was, etc by using the loo and I would say how clever Daddy was to DD. Might sound daft but we noticed very early on that whatever we do she wants to copy, especially me.

Even after her potty training, I would call out to DH if he was in another room "DD just did a wee on the potty" and he would praise her and tell her what a clever girl she was. Even now after she uses the potty I tell her what a good girl she is. I don't take it for granted.

DH told me not to use pull ups as he thought they would confuse DD as they are like a nappy. He told me I should use knickers straight away so that if she had an accident it would be obvious as she would be uncomfortable.

When she has a daytime sleep after lunch I wait for her to do a wee and then take off her trousers, leaving her knickers and t-shirt on and put a Pampers bed liner under her and a small blanket over her so that if she has an accident it's only a small blanket to wash. She has had about five accidents since September.

HTH.

THis thread is sooooooo helpful - I am very keen to successfully potty train ds 3.3years as if he is dry he could start at preschool on Jan 6 (not feeling too hopeful though!) He thinks weeing on the floor is fun fun fun. But he did do a wee today in his potty chair (cos we made him sit on it)and then return to it and sqaut over it to do a bit more - so feeling more hopeful than i was yesterday - maybe after Easter realistic for preschool!!!!!!!!

Shrub - Love what you said about "Are your pants dry?" - will be saying that over and over tommorrow!

I agree about letting them go about with no pants on, worked for both my DS1 and DS2, although DS1 needed far longer without pants before he got the idea and DS2 only a couple of days, but then he did have a big brother to copy.

All the best!

Forgot to say, when we have friends over and alot going on, DD can forget and can have an accident so then says "Wee wee" and walks like John Wayne. So I have learnt not to rely on her going to the potty automatically when we have guests and I ask her every 10-15 minutes if she wants to use the potty. At some stage she does say yes and goes.

bear in the blue house i want my potty is very good, great for kids who are visual learners, i only wished it was around when training my three.

Gosh, thanks for all the fab advice eveyone, I am going to print this out for future reference. Dh and I have decided that dd1 isn't quite ready yet so she is back in nappies today, we are putting her on her potty regularly but being relaxed about it and will try again in a couple of weeks'. I've decided to concentrate on getting dd2 sorted as her need for proper sleep is more important - not to mention our need for sleep too! We are really lucky that dd1's pre-school will take her in nappies, she has been going for half a term and I am hoping that seeing the other children use the toilet will give her an incentive as well.

Thanks again, and good luck to eveyone else who is in the same boat!

I think ds is getting it
He has just sat on the pot almost seemed to want to (usually makes a big fuss)
And he did a weeeeeeeeeee - He is now eating his reward - a baby bel cheese

We have been offering him chocolate as a reward but after a couple of weeks of no interest i discovered today he would be happier with a baby bel, grapes or raisins......... Certainly not complaining!!!

I think ds is getting it
He has just sat on the pot almost seemed to want to (usually makes a big fuss)
And he did a weeeeeeeeeee - He is now eating his reward - a baby bel cheese

We have been offering him chocolate as a reward but after a couple of weeks of no interest i discovered today he would be happier with a baby bel, grapes or raisins......... Certainly not complaining!!!