Please help I have been told I have to home school my child

[Mystical1981]

my daughter (13) stopped going to school in year 8 she refused as she has social problems, mental health problems and sensory issues, self harm, we are currently in process for getting her tested for autism but a long wait and she is with cahms who have been rubbish! The school tried to put everything in place to make it easy for her to go to school including ear muffs, reduced timetables, card to get out of lessons etc but she still refused. The school were bombarding me with phonecalls, letters and threatening fines. Everyday I spent a long time trying ti encourage my daughter into school and ended up affecting me and I was going into work crying I was late all the time and nearly lost my job. My daughter is now year 9 all through the 6 weeks holiday she kept saying she was going to go back to school and couldn't wait to see her friends etc. School started she went in for the first day and hasn't been back since. The school sent someone from early help round who have told me I will need to home school her. The problem is I am a single parent of 2 children and I have to work part time otherwise I won't be able to pay bills or pay rent etc. I spoke to the job centre to advise them of this and they said I will still be expected to work and if not I will get sanctioned also I wouldn't know where to even start with home schooling. I know there are places that do homeschooling but I am struggling for money as it is and I don't think I can afford it. They also suggested she goes to alternative education that I have to pay for but I don't know where I'm going to find the money especially if I have to give up work. Anyone have any ideas as I feel like killing myself I'm so stressed.

the Not Fine In School fb group will be able to advise. I’m sorry this sounds very hard ❤️

https://m.facebook.com/groups/NFISFamilySupport/?ref=share

You are entitled to an education for your DD.

We are receiving education from the Hospital Education Service for our DS. It is only 9 hours a week but it includes maths, English, the sciences and PSHE.

At 14yrs, some further education colleges over a special 14-16 provision

I would keep asking School and CAMHS.

To get into hospital ed. it had to go through a consultant.

They are trying to off roll your child and this is massively unlawful. Please contact your local SENDIASS for support. Your school should be paying for the alternative provision - you can contact your local Sen team. They have a duty to provide a suitable education for your child - that does not have to be at school. Look into EOTAS and NFIS as above. Right now, you could look into oak national academy if she feels ready to lean at home.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/school-anxiety Ipsea are great at detailing your rights. Good luck.

Have a read of this hsm.manchester.gov.uk/kb5/manchester/directory/advice.page?id=17Mj5WlOnyE

School are being very unreasonable. Fight it, without an EHCP this is hard but they are being very unfair.

Don’t deregister. If DD can’t attend school the LA have a duty to ensure DD receives a suitable, full time education under s19 of the Education Act 1996. This should have begun as soon as it became clear DD would miss 15 days. Email the Director of Children’s Services requesting provision. If that doesn’t work post back on MN and you will be advised how you can enforce it.

Alongside this, request an EHCNA. On their website IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Follow up verbal conversations with the school with emails so you have a paper trail as evidence.

@lorisparkle if DS can cope with more education 9 hours is not a full time education and the should provide more unless it is unsuitable for DS’s needs. The LGO have made this clear.

Also, you should apply for DLA for DD. Then if DD is awarded at least mid rate care you can apply for carer’s allowance and receive the carer element of UC which will remove the work commitments.

Has your daughter anything constructive to say about it?
Does she recognize this is a problem or is she so panicked/stubborn that she is refusing regardless of anything else.

You have my sympathies- it sounds like a nightmare.

Why would she get DLA? And why would the LA have to provide something other than what they are already providing?

@OvertakenByLego Do you think there should be an offer of 25 hours 1 to 1 tuition?

Under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 the LA has a statutory duty to ensure CSA pupils who are unable to attend school receive a suitable, full-time education.

A child who has “social problems, mental health problems and sensory issues, self harm” and is under CAMHS, awaiting an ASD assessment and unable to attend school is likely to have needs significant enough to be eligible for DLA.

I didn’t say 25hrs 1:1, did I? The LGO is clear 9 hours is not a full-time education.

I wasn't asking in a negative way. I suppose I should have asked what full time education might look like in this situation

You could apply for an EHCP if the school won't.

www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

The LGO view a full time education as 21-25hrs per week depending on age. Here is one of their reports stating so. Although if 1:1 it can be less as it is more concentrated, but it is still more than 9 hours (so long as that is suitable for the child). For example, this LGO case found 12.5 and 15 hours 1:1 not to be full time but 17.5 and 20 hours to be - there are many other such cases.

It doesn’t have to be 1:1 F2F tuition. It could be online tuition or schooling, small group tuition, hospital school, an AP e.g. a care farm… whatever is suitable for DC’s needs.

I know someone with a child aged 14 who is a school refuser - she has absolutely pulled her hair out trying to get him to go. In the 2 years I’ve known her he has probably been to a least 5 educational settings - school, college, pupil referral units back to school. They’ve paid for taxis, social workers have turned up to take him… the works. I don’t think she’s ever been told she has to home school.

Nope, nope, nope. The La have a duty to provide education. Do not let the school take your child off roll
My son is 9 and hasn't been in school since 7. He had an Out Of School Tutor (funded by school) for about a year. That wasn't working and while that was happening we applied for an EHCP. He now has a teacher come to the house once a week from a company called NTAS. This is funded by the school, he has enhanced funding now that he has an EHCP.
Right at the beginning a spoke to our doctor and she effectively signed him off school.
My son won't leave the house and doesn't engage well with learning (ASD, PDA, SPD) so he gets DLA, and I get carers allowance as I had to give up my job to care for him.
It's a bloody hard road to go down but I knew that after many, many night and daytime panic attacks and huge anxiety, enough was enough and

Sorry, didn't finish.
I stopped forcing him in to school. He had a full ASD meltdown and mental health crisis, very scary time.
I am on groups on Facebook

Not fine in school
Parenting mental health

The people on these groups are great, and there is no judgement

Also, the school are basically saying they can't meet your daughters needs, so the LA have to find more suitable education. Getting an EHCP is crucial for this to well managed

There is a great LGO report which would be b help but I cannot find, only this one. Yes to an ECHNA. I agree with DLA - if your child is not in school then the obviously have more caring needs than a child there age. And hugs… I have three autistic dds and keeping them accessing education has been very hard. Knowing your rights puts you in a much better position to be able to advocate for them. Don’t just speak with sxhool, an ECHNA hopefully with make them more accountable (depends on your LA, I guess!).

https://www.lgo.org.uk/make-a-complaint/fact-sheets/education/education-other-than-at-school

Look up 'emotionally based school avoidance best practice' are the school doign all of this? If not bring this to a meeting with then

Don't take her off the schools register or they won't have any responsibility for her. I don't think you've got good advice from early help.

You can consider an education health care needs assessment. I agree to talk to sendais.

You can't home school. The school should be sending work home to her when she is too anxious to attend.

You can also look at home education groups on Facebook - totally get that you have to work and that you're currently terrified, but there are single mums who can make home ed work. It isn't impossible - even alongside the tutoring that LAs can provide you will pretty much be in a default home ed situation. There are resources, cheap resources, that can support both of you. You aren't the only one in this situation which is shit. You are entitled to help from the LA - it's how much effort and battling it will take to get that provided, and whether you're fighting the right battle. If you put all your effort into securing this for your child and then they are distressed by the demands of it to the extent that their mental health is suffering, have you actually made the right move?

Off rolling is awful. I was told not to even apply to a school because they didn't want to have to support their needs. We were asked not to bring my child in to school when they were being assessed by Ofsted. But... I didn't have the energy to work with my child and focus on them and their needs and how to support their mental health and fight the battle with the LA, so I chose the one I thought was most important and provide education when they are regulated and excited to learn. (It isn't either / or!)

Dont de-register from school or say you are doing elective home education.

Apoly for a needs assessment. There are sample letters on ipsea /sosen

Also the schools should be telling the LA that your child is ill and will be away from school for more than 15 days and the LA should organise a suitable alternative.

Until last year (retired) I used to work as a 1-2-1 LSA for student on a course at a local college for young people who for whatever reason have dropped out of mainstream education. This could be for mental health, social or disablity. Many of the students attend part-time with online schooling in between. The course had a very high success rate with most students eventually returned to mainstream education. I live west of London on M4 corridor and am happy for you to PM me if you want more information. If not I suggest to try the local LA or approach colleges directly to see if there is anything similar available in your area. May take some time as the courses, in my experience, are not well publicised.

The school doesn’t have to provide work for those unable to attend school, the duty to ensure those DC receive a suitable full-time education lies with the LA. Even if work is sent home it isn’t enough to discharge the LA’s duty.

DO NOT allow the school to off-roll your child and do not electively remove your child. Then, you have 'elected' to home educate and the school/council have no responsibility to provide an education.

The council have to legally provide an education to your child. If your child cannot attend school due to SEN or mental health issues, then you need to apply for an EHCP and then fight to get funding for EOTAS (Education Other Than At School).

For context, I have a DME (Dual and Multiply Exceptional) DS who is currently in mainstream with a 1-to-1. There are multiple parents of children who are sufficiently atypically developing (i.e. profoundly gifted and with significant disabilities) that they cannot be in either a mainstream or specialist setting - my DS is borderline for being able to attend a school. Some of those parents have £100k support packages for EOTAS. It is perfectly possible to get this - you DO NOT need to home school. DO NOT feel pressured into doing so.