Not finished having children

[joedar]

I have 4 daughters 11,9,3 and 18 months. My husband is booked in for a vasectomy next month, the reason being we just could not decide whether to have more children.

Last week we had a chat and discovered that we did both want to have another, I guess a big part of it is trying for the boy, but deep down we just don't feel finished.

It is very busy with 4 kids and we want to do good by them all, and give them all the individual time they need, however I do believe that having a big family has its benefits even though its alot of work.


One part of me thinks I have my family finished now and to just get on with things, but a bigger part just says have one more (regardless of the sex of the baby). But I am afraid that I am just a maternal person and will feel like that again after no 5.

I also consider how lucky I am to be able to make the choice, when so many women are struggling to have families and admit to feeling a little greedy wanting more.

I am just wondering are there any other moms out there who feel like this?? Or any advice?

[moljam]

thanks lisalisa.wow 5!consultant said its ok from his point of view,its gp saying no.he said if i was his wife/daughter etc he'd advice against it.so who do i listen too?consultant said the only 3 section rule was old school.how many years between each section did you have?everything else healthwise is fine,although if we did have another id probably try to put on bit of weight first.bladder completly heeled now from 3rd section

[KTNoo]

5 sections - well done lisalisa! How was the recovery for you? I found the recovery difficut after the 3rd section - I didn't feel the surgery was great so that may have been a factor. I ended up having to having physio a year later for shoulder and neck problems, probably because I was using the wrong muscles. This does put me off doing it again a bit.

[moljam]

i found i got better with each one recovery wise.even with bladder problems and infection in scar with 3rd i still recovered better.

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[moljam]

during 3rd csection they tore my bladder,was fine,statched it up,had bag for 10 days and antibiotics.consultant has it in his notes,so does gp.

[lisalisa]

Message withdrawn

[moljam]

am waiting(not patiently)till ds is 3 and asking to see consultant again before thinking of ttc.3 years was how long we were told body takes to get back to normallish.