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Parenting

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Original poster

just seen my ds 2.4 being bullied for the first time.....

23 replies

juicychops · 30/05/2007 13:07

and i just wanted to pick him up and wrap him up in cotton wall and cuddle him forever!!

it was horibble! He goes nursery 2 days per week so it probably wasn't the first time, but it was horrible to watch. He was standing on a step whilst i was paying for shopping and this little girl about 4 years old wouldn't let him past then started pushing him hard in the chest and face. He was watching me like he didn't know what was going on then she must of pushed him hard as he started crying!

The girls mum didn't do anything until he started crying but i went over and picked him up and gave him a cuddle.

i know its all part of growing up, but it was horrible seeing my baby being treated badly!

OP posts:

nailpolish · 30/05/2007 13:07

i hop eyou told her off

Vev · 30/05/2007 13:10

Awwwwww. Give him a big cuddle. It's horrible when they look at you with a sad face asking for unspoken help!

Rosa · 30/05/2007 13:10

That is terrible what mother would let her child do that to a 'stranger' and not say anything ? Even if its ...'now then he is smaller than you so be gentle '..Or even an apologetic grimace to you if her dd is driving her round the bend...

bettybobo · 30/05/2007 13:15

no thats pretty bad, hopefully not too much a part of growing up. The little girl's mother should have said something.
makes me

Original poster

juicychops · 30/05/2007 13:16

no, i didn't say anything to the girl, i was too sad for ds that i just got him and moved him away

OP posts:

Twiglett · 30/05/2007 13:18

you should have told her off

"It is not nice to push people. Please don't do it" in a voice loud enough to carry to the mother

oliveoil · 30/05/2007 13:19

oh I would have said something

when we go to play areas and they shove dd2 out of the way I say "now be careful, she is smaller then you"

with a glint in my eye

and I also tell mine off if they shove

mother in wrong definitely

archiesmummy · 30/05/2007 13:26

Por little boy juicychops, think you would have been allowed to tell the girl, just so she knows this is not acceptable behaviour

Original poster

juicychops · 30/05/2007 13:31

i think i would be scared in case the mother came and shouted at me for telling her off. im very shy and stupid like that!

OP posts:

bosscat · 30/05/2007 13:33

oh this has happened to me. I have developed an evil look in my eye which I use to the child it says "back off or I will bite". Some children are horrible

maycontainstress · 30/05/2007 13:35

I would have told the girl off. There is no harm in saying "Don't do that, it is not kind". How could the other mother object?

I saw my darling DS1 being battered (foot in the face job) by a little boy at the top of a playbarn whilst said boy's mother sipped tea dressed like a pole dancer without a care in the world. It was like a thump in the heart, so I promptly flew up there, rescued my boy and told the bully off. He probably hasn't ever had it pointed out to him before, hence his actions.

I wouldn't tolerate mine treating other kids like that.

I feel your pain juicychops, its so difficult.

OrmIrian · 30/05/2007 13:36

How horrible . Doesn't it break your heart. When they first realise the world isn't always a kindly place. I think you would have been quite in the right to say something (gently and politely mind you!) to the little girl. So perhaps the mum would hear and react positively and your LO would realise that you were on his side.

SoupDragon · 30/05/2007 13:37

In situations like this I give a hard stare and simply say "that's not nice" before removing my child and continuing the Hard Stare.

americantrish · 30/05/2007 13:37

i cant believe the girls mom didnt do or say anything
i saw my ds get shoved in the face at his old preschool and it KILLED me. he screamed and cried. the other boy was a bit older than mine. the staff did discipline the other boy and he apologised to my son.

i bit my lip so hard to NOT cry. (when i left, i cried my eyes out.)

i hope your son is all better now. luckily, they don't remember this stuff! (but we do!!)

hugs

archiesmummy · 30/05/2007 13:38

If that happens just ignore it as most mums (i'm sure) would back you up, unless you were shouting at their LOs of course

bosscat · 30/05/2007 13:39

I was at a playbarn once with a friend and our 2 sons. A horrible boy came and started pushing them and shoving them. He then started to punch ds1. I told him off. He slapped me ! His mother came rushing over and instead of re-inforcing what I'd said she turned on me and asked me why I was telling him off. I told her and she walked away muttering about me. Then came back and said "he can't help it he's only 3" oh okay then punch away

archiesmummy · 30/05/2007 13:42

bosscat

bettybobo · 30/05/2007 13:51

ok a friend of mine ds is rowdy little boy and was giving my ds hugs, but cos he is so big and he's not gentle they were big knockover squashing, forceful hugs and probably hurting. I didnt say anything just a weak 'aah how sweet' (cue fake smile), but those big sad' 'please help me mummy', eyes were heartbreaking to see!
..and these were only hugs gone wrong lol

squeakybub · 30/05/2007 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

juicychops · 30/05/2007 14:00

thats what i need to do too. If ds follows by my example he will end up a defenceless little weed like me!!

i need to show him how to stand up for himself

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 30/05/2007 20:29

Thats the spirit juicy

Its important that your DS sees from you (particularly if the other parent isnt dealing with it) that this is unacceptable behaviour by other children.

He could end up thinking it is okay for other children to do this to him, or, in fact think it is okay to do it to others.

I'm ashamed to admit, I scared the living daylights out of a 5 yr old at a softplay place once. He kept following DD around who was just turned 3 at the time, pushing her, or stopping her from going on things. But he was being sneaky about it. His dad didnt give a shit.

So, I snuck up, and hid around the corner...just as he was about to pounce on DD and push her when I stood up and boomed "I dont think that's a very nice thing to do, do you?". He ran off and didnt bother her again.

rantinghousewife · 30/05/2007 20:36

That's terrible, the mother should definitely have said something. If it was my dd, I would have. IMO it does children no favours to allow them to bully other children. I'd be horrified if either of mine did this to another child.

singingmum · 30/05/2007 20:38

Am at the fact that anyone considers bullying a part of growing up.
If you see this happening(and I don't care what age a child is)speak out and make your opinion known.If you don't you send the message to your child that it's ok for someone to push them around.
Juicy that must have been horrid to see.I would have made the point to the mum buy asking if she had seen what her child was doing and could she make sure it doesn't happen again.
Hopefully if it does happen again(and I really hope it doesn't)you will be prepared for the situation.

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