Calling all parents of 30 minute nappers

[Namechangemum100]

Are there any parents out there that have young babies that only nap for 30 minutes and arent stressed or worried about it?

In a nutshell, Dc1 was a 30 minute napper, and over the last 15 months it has slowly driven me insane, to the point that I have ended up in counseling over it (ridiculous I know).

dC2 is a month old and already very simiyto Dc1 and I am trying to not stress about it and go with the flow more as per my therapy sessions. Problem is...everyone around me (and by that I mean on forums such as this) also seems to stress about the same thing.

It would help my mind frame so much to hear from those that have this "problem", but actually don't have an issue with it and go with the flow?

My DS (5 mo) sometimes naps for 10 minutes, sometimes 30, sometimes a few hours. He gets a bit grumpy if he doesn't nap a lot but I haven't noticed that it has a particular bearing on how he sleeps at night. Sometimes he sleeps through, sometimes he doesn't.

It's stressful if he's over tired and crying, but normally when he gets tired, he goes to sleep. It helps that we use the sling a lot and he finds it easy to fall asleep in there.

He's so unpredictable that if I got stressed over his naps I'd spend my whole life trying to get him to sleep, so I refuse to let myself stress about it. I'm also very aware that everything is a phase, even the good days when he has 3 long naps a day and sleeps through the night!

I hope you manage to find a way to stop yourself getting stressed out this time around, whether that's by going with the flow or introducing a solid routine. Be kind to yourself if you can, you're doing your best and that's all you can do

I think it's very common unfortunately! Especially with younger babies. I read something on here once where someone said, all you can do is offer them the opportunity to sleep, do not worry if they don't!

My son, now nearly 4, was a terrible napper until he was about 9 months old. He then started to have nice long naps and even kept his 2 hour lunch time nap until aged 3. We always had to wake him from this nap too so it really can and often does change.

My daughter is completely different and a better napper, although most of her naps are just 45 mins at the moment (she's 4 months old). I just make sure she naps at least every 1.5 hours if not less, so she usually ends up having about 5 short naps a day.

My dd used to nap for about 20 mins a time during the day... On the days she did nap that is. She was up every 30-45mins during the night, apart for the middle where she'd go a full 2 hour stretch. And she stopped napping quite young. I think I was too numb from exhaustion to stress over it but it did help me to do my best and ignore the textbook baby sleepers I heard about at baby groups etc and just accept that my dd needed less sleep than others did. Some people do need less sleep than others and some need more (unfortunately I'd count myself in the needing more group). But yes having that mindset of she just needs less sleep, did help me.

Yep! 20-30 minutes naps were common, many many night wakings. Just about went insane trying different things and eventually gave in. Co sleeping saved my sanity and DS aged just over 2 is currently asleep in his own room in his own bed and the last two nights has stayed there, asleep, all night. I’ve def just jinxed myself but the point is some just need time to mature sleep wise. There’s very little you can do about it and the less stressing the better all round as you know!

My DD at 15 months was a 30 min napper and some days she'd manage without any sleep and her mood was ok so I just made the most if not having to be home in the afternoons. A few months ago her mood started to become unbearable late afternoon so I started to put her down after lunch despite her protests and she now accepts and sleeps for 90 mins minimum every day (she's now 2).

My younger DS has 45 mins at lunch time too but that's the only sleep he has. Maybe he'll be the same.

It's exhausting but for me it's easier not to fight it or force the naps. I prefer to assume no-one will sleep in the day and then it's nice if they do. I usually include a long walk or car journey at some point in the day for a bit of peace!

@Namechangemum100 my 4 month old baby only naps for 30-40mins at a time, i'm not sure why i would be stressed or worried?

What stressed you out with DC1 - was it bad sleep generally, or just that they weren't doing what the books said they should do?

My DD had short naps after the first couple of months - she'd wake up like clockwork after 30 minutes! She used to have three or four short naps a day, but slept in longer stretches at night. I didn't stress out about it as in 24 hours she would get the average amount of sleep for her age (there was a chart the health visitor had about typical sleep for each age). I did envy other mums who had longer naps and could get stuff done around the house, but I got used to just having enough timefor a sit-down and a cup of tea By 9 months she was having longer naps but down to only two a day, so was back to the 'normal' nap routine for her age.

Why did you get worried about it with dc1? I can understand you can't get much done in a 30 mins nap, was that the issue?

Mine between 10 and 30mins, 3 times in the day if lucky and won’t go down, has to be on someone. Not worried, just frustrating! Spend a lot of time driving or going for walks!

OP it's hard work, I don't think anyone finds it easy even if the appear to love every minute of it! I often feel a bit frazzled.

I love this thread! DD2 is 8 months and has always been a cat-napper. She'll nap anywhere from 10-30 mins, 1-3 times a day on an average day. Some days not at all. (Some days proper long naps, especially at nursery). It's really worried me as all the literature says that babies need x-amount of sleep and she definitely doesn't get that. But she's such a happy baby! It's fantastic to know I'm not alone and actually it's kind of normal.

Yep I have a cat napper. 30-40 mins at a time. The odd time a longer one in the middle of the day, maybe 1-1.5 hours but that definitely doesn't happen everyday. Sometimes I do get stressed about it and wish he would sleep longer, mostly because it's what the books say. But he wakes happy and sleeps reasonably well at night so it can't be doing him too much harm!

Dd has been a 30 min napper since she was 2 weeks old- shes now 11 months. Not only is she only down for 30 mins she wakes at the slightest noise. She has never been (and never will be) that baby who just falls asleep in a class or if you try to carry her from the car seat she will wake up. I cant just "put her down for a nap"- she wouldnt sleep.

I have just accepted that. Its how it is. I cant do anything about it.

I spent ages and ages at the beginning worrying about it but there is no point. If she doesnt sleep, she doesnt sleep. She may be tired and cranky but she will go to bed and tomorrow is a new day.

I do know that she will sleep in the car so if things get desperate and she hasnt napped I go for a 10-15 minute drive and she conks out so then i sit in the car on my driveway until she wakes up. It isnt ideal but it works and we are all a lot calmer as a result.

Those asking why I stressed so much...

I had OCD as a teenager, and have a tendency to fixate and obsess when I am feeling stressed. With Dc1, being a ftm was overwhelming and without realizing it I started to fixate on her day sleep. All the books said that sleeping for 30 minutes meant she hadn't transitioned to her next sleep cycle, so I became militant at trying (and always failing) to achieve that. I caused me yo believe I wasn't a good enough mother as I couldn't achieve an "adequate" nap for dc1 and I felt like I had let her down.

I know now that all of that is nonsense, that 30 minutes is enough, and that they will take longer naps when they are ready, but on bad days I find myself reverting back to old habits.

All of your stories have been really great to read, and help alot.

Ok, if it's mainly that your baby isn't doing what the books say they "should" be doing I can help with that, hopefully.

Dc1 : slept like a log, massive nap in the morning, decent nap in afternoon.

Dc2 : naps taken when in sling with no pattern whatsoever. Even if seemingly completely knocked out, would wake within 10 mins of being put down. In sling, prolonged decent naps, or a succession of shorter catnaps. She's now nearly 1 and only recently has there been a more regular "proper" nap in morning, but even then no guarantee.

Any book that's being rigid about babies ("must" / "will" etc) needs to be binned imo. All babies are different, all families are different, all environments are different. If it's not an issue for you, it's not an issue simply because some book says you should be doing something else.

The only annoying thing about dc2's sleep is the lack of predictability. If I put her down I've no way of knowing if I have an hour to get stuck into something or if I have max 5 minutes to myself.

At times like this my mantra (helpfully given to me by another mother) is "everyone fed, no one dead". If you've achieved that you're doing just fine, some days that's all that can be managed. If I try do anything else and am then scuppered by a short nap it's easy to get fed up that I've not done the dishes or laundry or whatever, but then if I can take a step back and remember we're all fed and still alive... Winning!

I was exactly the same with DS1. I had bad anxiety and PND after I had him. He had bad reflux and screamed constantly it felt like. He only napped for 30 mins at a time, usually only if I held him. I found it exhausting. I struggled having absolutely no time to myself. As his reflux got better, he napped longer and would go in the cot.

With DS2, I was honestly beyond caring. I was that busy with two, I didn't focus on it. If we stayed home he slept in the cot and usually slept well, if we went out he napped in the pram but usually not for long. What helped was I wasn't so focused on a routine for DS2 like I was with DS2. He just had to kind of fit in around our existing routine and I knew even if he napped I wouldn't get a break anyway! He stopped napping all together at 18 months which actually made life a lot easier so we could get out in the afternoon.

Both of mine slept through from early on and although I didn't like the 30 mins naps I was reluctant to change too much in case they stopped sleeping at night.

Another one with a 30 minute napper (9month old). I Stressed way too much over this when ds was little now I just go with the flow which has helped regain some sanity. Knowing he won't need to nap forever is helpful