What do you expect from a 10 and 12 year old around the house?

[thistlenut]

Make beds
Empty/load dishwasher
Take (their) things upstairs
Bring dirty washing down
Help hang up washing (not often asked to do this though)
Help cook sometimes

Would you expect to need to ask them to do these things, and would you expect anything else on top?

Here it is tidy their room and other mess created by them and empty the dishwasher most days.

Put their clean clothes away.

Other things we do together include dog walking, gardening, baking, cooking but not in a list of expected chores way, we just do it.

For me nothing else on top, esp at secondary with homework every night and swim club and music and choir. Enough going on.

I did bugger all as a kid, my parents did everything and I turned out ok so I am fairly relaxed about it.

No set tasks, they do things as I ask

Today the 11 year old has tidied her room, put a pile of washing away, fed the dogs

14 year old has done nothing as she's been out all day

I would expext a 12 year old to be able to do anything I can. And do it when asked. 10 year old less so but getting there.

I would expect them to look after all pets, tidy common areas (they can have their own rooms however they want them- but common areas are kept to my- not particularly high- standards) set and clear the table do washing up, put their own clean clothes away and bring dirty ones down. Just the normal sort of stuff people living in a community do........

11 and 8 here.

This is what they are supposed to do, in bold is what they actually do:

feed pets
empty/load dishwasher
Put washing in laundry basket
Put own laundry away
hang laundry out/bring in
Keep bedrooms tidy.
take bin out/in on bin day
Wipe bathroom sink and loo after use.

I have a 12 yo and 4 yo.

12 yo to is expected to:

Put all of his washing in the basket without being asked
Put all of his clean clothes away
Be responsible for all of his own school stuff, including homework without being nagged
Keep his room tidy.
Clear plates after a meal.
Help taking stuff upstairs
Get the washing in off the line if I ask
Dry up occasionally
Help bring the food shopping in.
And play nicely with his brother if I need to get on.

He will also run the vacuum round if asked.

He's a good boy and desperately wants more responsibility-he's made him and his brothers lunch before now!

He also had a very long school day because he has to travel quite far but he gets up at 6:15 usually without complaint too every day.

So I can't complain.

Okay thank you, sounds about "normal" then, we don't call them chores more team work to help keep the house running relatively smoothly. The help cooking is generally only done by the 12 year old as she enjoys it and has done from a young age, 10 year old occasionally asks to join in (and I think its a good skill to learn)

Expected to lay table & help clear after dinner. Take their things upstairs. They take their duvet covers, sheets & pillow cases off for washing when I ask them to.

They both cook one meal a week for us all.

We also have a board - we all (me & DH included) sign up for one chore per week eg hoover house, clean kitchen sides & floor, clean bathrooms, do 2 x laundry loads. DCs get points towards pocket money from this.

They dog walk with us and can earn extra pocket money points for other chores. Eg they feed the dog & cats every morning for extra points.

I am determined not to bring up men who cannot cook, won't clean & who expect others to clear up for them.

Tidy and hoover their rooms.

That's it.

The only thing my 10 and 9 year old are expected do is keep their own rooms tidy and clean. DS1 finds this utterly unreasonable and manages to make his room a shit tip in record time then have a meltdown when made to tidy it up it fucks me right off.
DS2 is good as gold and keeps his spotless. Never argues when told to do bits and bobs that he's forgotten. They are also asked to sort dishes after dinner, put their own laundry away and Hoover/Polish the lounge occasionally.

DS3 is 5 and DD is 3. They are also expected to keep their rooms tidy. They help with laundry and argue over who gets to lay the table

We all share things like getting plates, laying the table, clearing it away, getting drinks to have with dinner, making each other cups of tea etc., etc..

I don't consider those on the chores list, just part of family life.

Oh, DD changes her own bed. Picks up dog poo if we are walking or at home and we are outside, our dog not random 😳.

It's good for them to do things round the house. I already try to involve my toddler in whatever I'm doing

At that age, my kids did all of that as well as vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, etc. Obviously, I didn't make them become my servants, but they were definitely expected to help on a daily basis. Kids NEED to be taught responsibility and how to properly take care of the home.

DD1 nearly 12 does

Own room clean and tidy (in the loosest sense!)
Strips and washes and replaces own bedding
Brings down laundry and puts own stuff away
Folds all laundry (when asked)
Looks after all her pets including buying bedding and food
Helps with shopping and puts it away
Cooks her own food if what I've made isn't suitable (she's vegan)
Hoovers when asked
Takes recycling out when asked
Keeps an eye on younger DC for short periods (not alone- I mean like if they're in the bath and I'm downstairs)

She also does the dishes a few times a week