Dh said to our dd "I will wash you mouth out with soap & water"..*POLL* WOULD / HAVE YOU?

[jollyjane]

She is 5 years old!! He had swore in a previous sentance and she then copied it.
So he said that to her!
Away from the dcs I said why did you say it?? He said he meant it, his dad did it to him and he never swore in front of him again!
It just seems like living in the dark ages to me! I said I don't agree and think he should just make more effort to not swear in front of them!
He thinks more people will agree with him!
We will watch your replies. TIA.

No it's abusive. Soap is not meant to be ingested. Forcing a child to put it in her mouth is abuse.

no is classed as abuse in my book.

god no
how awful

And, may I say, I am a strict parent. He should learn self control.

They used to do this at Primary School if we swore!

I think it's meant figuratively, isn't it?!

never in a million years. awful.

My mum did it to my brother when he was about 6, I bit her leg because it upset me, I was 8. She didnt bring me up I was visiting, we dont get on.

No. Horrible thing to do to a small child. More traumatic than smacking IMHO. And if he swore first he has only himself to blame if she copied.

I'd be having strong words with him about that. It wouldn't be acceptable to me ever; it's abusive and unnecessary.

The best way to make sure she doesn't swear is not to swear around her ... he might like to look at his own choice language and ask himself who is at fault - a child for copying her father, or an adult swearing around a child at an age where they copy everything they see or hear their parents do.

erm, no absolutely not. there are far more constructive ways of changing a child's behaviour. Such as - ooh lemme see now - setting a good example by not using bad language in front of his daughter....

I got walloped for using bad language when I was little and I am a foul-mouthed fecker now

x-posts MMI!

is he a bit thick?

er, what everyone else said. Can't somehow imagine anyone is going to come on & say, yes if you swear in front of your children, an appropriate response to them swearing back is to inflict a Victorian punishment on them...

Although my dad did once 'bang our heads together' when me and my brother were being particularly unpleasant. God it hurt.

I have already told him I wouldn't have let him do it! He has said he wouldn't go against my decision in a matter like this.
I am still finding it hard to believe he had it done to him!!

Enid, I have thought this occasionally! The thing is he is very bright! I think sometimes maybe he talks first then thinks and in the heat of the moment maybe his own childhood may come into his memory.
It was a bit harsh in my opinion!
He is actually very soft with our children.

I meant his own childhood was harsh! (too quick typing!)

No way, wouldn't do that.

At the end of the day he swore in front of your DD, she copied, he can hardly punish her for it.

I think this comes of dh's not being involved in discipling their own children very often. When faced with a problem they come out with their parents form of discipline . I had a row with dh for smacking dd (6 yo) on the bum on Friday for something daft. I told him sending her to her room would have had more effect. He thought I was over reacting He is always the good cop to my bad cop so when he does step in it's too OTT imo.

he needs to control his swearing in front of DD

and not threaten abusive and nasty, dangerous punishments

a reasoned talk about not using that sort of language is all that is needed here...kids learn from those around them

he did something, she copied, but she gets threatened with a punishment, by the person she copied...

nope, not working for me!

I'm sorry, it sounds like he had a rough childhood. Does he think it was bad? ie does he want to replicate it for his own children....
Perhaps you can guide him and let him know he is allowed to follow different parenting rules from the ones he was brought up on, preferably ditching the harsher elements for a start.

my mum did this to my brother, he called my dad a wanker when he was about 6, he certainly never said it again! however my parents never swore in front of us, i am not saying it is the right thing to do, but your dh certainly cant say that after just saying the same word! my parents were quite strict, but it certainly was not abuse.

Cheers all dh has read this and realises it was too harsh!
He does accept his childhood was sometimes too hard too and would not copy it.
Thanks for the replys.

What does he think will happen when he swears in front of a 5 year old?

I had my mouth washed out with soap. I was older than 5. It didn't stop me from swearing but it did make me hate my mother.

Everytime my dh says something unsavoury in front of dd1 (3)which isn't that often now, I remind him that he will be sorry when she repeats it to the dr/his mum/her teacher!!!!!
She can't be told off for something she's copying from him. He needs telling off. IMO

No. Akso if he doesn't want your DD to swear he should not do it in front of her. Litle ones will copy thier parents.