to not take newborn to hospital for hearing screening?

[justonesherryformedicinalpurpo]

Maternity unit couldn't get a reading when my LO had the standard hearing check which I believe is quite common. They said it is most likely fluid, particularly because I had a water birth. They booked me in for an appointment at a different hospital for a more advanced hearing test.

I cancelled my appointment as I just didn't feel up to it. I have a 19mo old going through terrible tantrums atm. And even though I bf my first and I'm doing the same this time I'm really not enjoying the idea of having to fiddle around discretely breastfeeding on the bus as I don't drive. I know I'll have to do it eventually but in the day I tend to walk everywhere. I also have to catch two buses and it's about 90mins travelling one way. I just know it will stress me out and I have no help in the day. DP has used all annual leave so he can't book a day off.

I have DD2's 8 week check up and vaccs soon (she's now 6wks) and I just know the HV is going to tell me off. I have received a few missed calls from a private number and I'm thinking it's either a nuisance call or the hearing unit calling to reschedule.

Am I awful for not taking her? I know she can hear very well. DD1 is constantly disturbing her and she jumps at sneezes and bangs and she enjoys me singing so I personally don't have any concerns.

But still, do I have any grounds to stand on when my HV tells me off? Thanks all

Ask if the appointment can be at home. My ex had a private test and the man brought a machine to the house. But a tantrum toddler isn't a good reason for staying in. Getting out and about is good for all of you!!

Explain the circumstances to the HV, maybe she can help. It takes about 10mins to do and is something you should get done, just to be sure. Don't stress about it though, you've not done anything wrong.

No way would I have contemplated a (non essential) 90 min bus journey on my own with a newborn and a 19mth old

As pp suggested, ask if it can be done at home. And don't let the hv "tell you off", you are an adult, just explain that you couldn't get there.

I wouldn't cancel it, but I definitely would postpone it.

You're finding things tough right now, and it sounds like the shlep to the hospital is just one thing too much right now.

I don't think you should ignore the way you're feeling. But it's also not a yes-no choice between you and the test!

And no, the health visitor shouldn't be telling you off for anything really. But sometimes they can be less than subtle, and I totally get your worry about having to face a dressing down that makes you feel even worse.

I really think you should tell someone how hard you are finding it right now, as it might be exhaustion and it just being bloody difficult with two children! Or, it could be that you're getting pnd, which needs treatment and support.

Maybe go see your GP?

And definitely treat yourself very kindly

It's ok to be struggling, or overwhelmed, & it's ok to rearrange and postpone things. Do you have much rl support?

mybeareded we do get out but just walking to where we need to be instead which although can be 30-50mins walking I enjoy it and prefer it much more to buses! Especially now I have a tandem buggy which can't fit on the bus if another is already on there!

Thanks all for your concern. I'm feeling okay and know to take it easy. I probably need to toughen up with my HV, she's just a little intimidating!

miscellaneous what does rl stand for? My DP is a great help but when he's at work I don't have much support on hand tbh. I have a fantastic friend but she works odd shifts so not always available and my mums just moved a 4hr drive away (for good reasons though) and we talk often and I know if I desperately needed her she would be straight down here.

I think I'll reschedule and have a private visit then. That's a great idea. I guess the fact I've wrote this post shows I do have the "what if" lingering in my conscience!

Thanks all for your kind words and suggestions. I really appreciate them.