How tough should I be getting ds to use toilet?

[tracyk]

ds is almost 3. He will go to the toilet at nursery but as soon as I try at home - he starts crying and saying he doesn't want to go. If I physically put him on the loo - he will get straight off it and say he doesn;t need. 5 mins later he pees himself.
Should I be more understanding - or tougher?

I would say more understanding & time.. if he'll go @ nursery (coz the others are) he'll go @ home soon too- just keep gently asking him if he needs to go, you dont want to accidentally put him off going @ home..it took my ds months to get there & it can be really frustrating (but dont worry him by letting him see that) but try to be relaxed- it'll be easier for both of you

Try coaxing (bribing??!!) him by having nice books in the bathroom, and then try turning toilet-going sessions into reading ones - make it fun.
Don't force him to do it - he'll start wetting himself to spite you.
He will get there eventually (my DS1 was 3 and a 1/4 before he was trained)

Oh, and one other thing - we kept telling DS1 how proud we were of him every time he did a wee on the toilet (either at home or in the nursery), and then started telling him how proud his friends would be if he did one at home.....sly, but effective!!!!

I do try and bribe him with maltesers and the like. I think it depends on his mood - v. ocassionally he'll jump on the loo and pee for a malteser. Other times he has none of it.
I brought him home today from nursery - after a couple of succesfull trips to the loo with his key worker, then an accident before lunch. When I picked him up I tried to get him to go before we left - even another little boy went first and then it was sposed to my ds 'turn'. Nope, into the car - home safely. Asked him to try on the loo when we got home, offered for him to pee standing up as a novelty - nada! Went into his room and 2 mins later - pee on the floor!