Bedwetting advice needed! Preparing to go to bed as if preparing to go to work!

[greenbean789]

Help and advice needed!
I have a six months old baby and 5,5 year old child. Every night, before going to bed I must prepare: nappies and wipes for baby, several clean sheets and several pairs of underwear for the eldest, potty, set the bedwetting alarm.
The 6months old baby wakes up at least 2-3 times at night for feeding, and my 5 year old wets bed 2-4 times every single night.
I can manage youngest one's night feeding, but getting frustrated with the eldest's bedwetting. In the last two years we tried everything, seen doctors, a consultant, talked to specialist helpline, drawn fluid intake charts, star charts, bought few types of bedwetting alarms, and even tried NPL ( neuro linguistic programming, kind of hypnosis through listening to recorded affirmation). Nothing works.
One bedwetting alarm was so loud, I used to wake up with heart palpitations, another was so fiddly that you needed two layers of underwear and a sanitary pad. So there I was, cutting incisions in the pad to fit the sensor few times a night, to the wailing of a woken up baby, changing soggy sheets until I bought another alarm. Only, that in spite of the hefty price tag (£125!) it doesn't seem to work to get DS dry. We all get distressed few times every night, as the alarm keeps going on and on, shrilling, changing tunes until we strip damp, or sometimes sodden underwear off and unclip the sensor.
I don't know what else to do!

I'd go back to pull ups overnight and relax about it. One of mine was in pull ups till 7. Never a dry night, seems to be managing now,several years later. Youve enough on your plate without this.

I agree, go back to pull-ups. Night time dryness is dependent on a hormone called vasopressin; if they don't produce it, they won't be dry at night, it's not their fault or anything you can fix until they are ready. It's not unusual for kids to wet the bed until they're 7 or so. Eric.org.uk has a lot of useful info.

Layered beds are also good, so plastic sheet then towel to absorb then sheet. Then plastic sheet, towel, sheet. And repeat as many times as you guess accidents will happen. When the bed is wet you just peel off a layer, dump it in the bath and voila... Another bed is ready to snuggle in to. I used to be able to do it almost in my sleep. Really takes the pressure off.

I'm just wondering have you mis-typed eldest age? 5.5 is young to have all this input over night time dryness?
Is there a reason pull ups are a no go? They do them in larger sizes in 'pyjama pants' in bigger supermarkets too. If you can use these, as well as the sheet layering someone mentioned, hopefully you can re gain some of your sanity X

Go for pull ups and try to relax about it, it'll be better for you and your DCs. Both mine were not dry at that age but we just ignored it and got on with, they grew out of it when their bodies were ready.

I've got a 5.5 year old and he sporadically tries going to bed without a nappy but he just can't do it. He feels ashamed when he wets himself so I second putting him back in pull-ups. He certainly isn't the only 5 year old who still wears them and surely it's better for everyone. Less washing, less stress and it could be affecting his confidence and definitely affecting his sleep

Pull ups and absorbent disposable bed mats plus the layered bed sheets advised up thread.

Definitely go back to pull ups. Isn't normal range for nighttime dryness up to 7? My nephew wasn't dry at night till he was 6.
Your situation sounds stressful with a baby needing your attention too- there are plenty of 5 year olds who still need a night time nappy

Agree with all the other posters. My DS needed a night time nappy until he was 6. Then he became dry at night and has never wet the bed since.

Another vote for pull ups. My 5.5yo wets the bed routinely but only once a night. We take him to the loo as we go to bed to avoid it happening but still happens relatively frequently. Lots of his friends wet too and I know lots if people waking their child to remind them to wee.

The one thing that gets me about wetting day and night is when they are seeing more than they would normally. It sounds as if your ds is going to loo a lot in the night. Could be psychological/stress. Back to pull ups and pressure off maybe he won't do it as much.

Meanwhile it's hard with a 6mo. In terms of 'preparing' can I suggest a basket if nappies and wipes in your (& dc's) room topped up regularly so you don't have to physically think about it every day.

The pressure for your DS to stay dry is probably adding to his worries and need to wee several times in the night. Def put him back in pull-ups and let him relax and enjoy bedtimes again.

Sounds like the bed wetting hassle is uneccessary stress and probably causing the issue to prolong itself. Why don't you use pull ups?

I'm with the rest. Night time dryness not guaranteed aged 5.
Put the 5 yr old into pull ups or pyjama pants, and allow them to sleep all night in comfort, and reduce the wakings and night work for you. Why have you been trying to get them night dry since they were 3???? You can't train for night dryness. Leave it, and see what happens. If they aren't dry in 2 years time, consider going back to the Dr. But not before then

To be honest I feel very sorry for your DS - why so much pressure on them to be dry at night when all the literature shows that it's not a problem until they're 7. What country are you in? In the UK a doctor won't discuss night time dryness until the child is 7.

Agree it sounds like a lot of pressure on the child (are they really 5.5?) and this won't be helping. Put him in pull-ups for a while and then try again when you feel less stressed - if it doesn't work go back to pull-ups. We had 3 waterproof mattress protectors on at a time layered with sheets so it's easier to change the bed when you need to.

I agree with what everyone else is saying - it is really not an issue at this age and you need to go back to pull-ups as all this stress and constant night-time changing and alarms etc must be impacting on your poor DS (as well as the whole family!).

I'm surprised the doctors and consultant etc you've seen in the last two years haven't told you this - surely no doctor would take you seriously saying your 3/4/5 year old isn't dry at night yet?!

Please stop pressuring your child to be dry at night, even if you don't express it they will know. The cycle of humiliation that goes with wetting at night is soul destroying for a child. I wasn't dry until 13, no matter what intervention happened.

The stress my DM put me under to be dry made it worse. Also her constant frustration by it made me feel humiliated from a young age, it's had a serious impact on our relationships now.

Pull ups.

My son has just turned 7 and it's only in the last 4 months that he has been dry at night and that's because I get him up to use the loo when I got to bed, it can be traumatic trying to get him up but it's worth it. The next day he remembers absolutely nothing about me getting him up.

He wore the biggest nappies I could find until he decided he didn't want to wear them anymore and that's when we began waking him at about 10pm and no drinks after 6.30pm.

DD1 had problems with this until her late teens. She has other bladder problems as well. I didn't find the alarms worked at all. Both my DC slept like the dead and I literally could have smothered them in their sleep, as they wouldn't wake if you held their noses!

It is exhausting, but I think you are making way too much of this at 5.5 years. Back into pull-ups and only if there are still problems in a couple of years should you be going back to the specialists. We got absorbent sheets that were a real pain to wash and dry but protected the bed.

I think you are worrying about this too soon. Why is it causing you such distress? Your DD is still young enough that this shouldn't be considered a problem and after all, who is going to know if she is still in pull-ups at night? And if they do know, who bloody cares anyway?

Part of my sons bedtime routine is to wee first then brush teeth then a story and then one last wee before settling down.

I'd be dead looking after a baby & up several times every night to change a bed. So fair enough if you can't think straight. :)

Bribery worked with my 2yos who were able to be dry overnight & failed with my 7yo who simply couldn't be dry yet. Short of fancy drugs (not available until they are teenagers) I don't think you can do anything to make them dry before their body is ready. Definitely use pullups.