How to put preschooler to bed with a newborn on your own?

[milkyman]

DH goes back to work soon and is not back for bedtimes. I have a 3.5 year old and a six week old. How do i put ds preschooler to bed when i have a newborn with no routine? I can't delay bedtime as ds gets too tired and dh back too late? Any suggestions??

Ok so - bath every night isn't necessary. Use CBeebies if you can. Can you feed baby while you read to the preschooler on their bed? That's what I used to do - or wear the baby while you do the toddler routine. It's tricky for a few nights but you'll soon find something that works

I will be bottle feeding would this be ok or tricky?

I put baby in a sling while doing bedtime.

Which sling would you recommend? Also im worried my ds will get jealous when i leave room with baby?

Bump

I don't know but currently stressing over this same thing as almost 4yr old dd just took 2 hours almost to fall asleep. Argh. Baby due in a month!

Close caboo sling. It's a wrap type sling but pre tied so ultra easy to put on and hugs the baby close. So close the toddler will barely notice the baby is there. If you can institute some sort of pre bed tv and feed the baby in that time so that the actual bedtime teeth/story bit is a slightly calmer, then do. Don't worry about taking he baby out. Just make a big song and dance about it being time for baby to go to bed and isn't DS such a good boy for getting into bed and going straight to sleep etc etc. Bath time can totally get missed it actually I found doing it slightly earlier and then 30 mins tv reduced the tension massively and made everything much smoother.

Just stick to normal routine. Baby will either be asleep, or you just do the routine while holding baby.

Best tip I read on here for bath time was take both children and their pyjamas, changing mat and loads of towels into bathroom. Bath them together with baby in bath support chair, get baby out, dried changed and dressed. Put clean and dry baby safely on floor on changing mat whilst washing and dressing older child. I then took them both into DD1 's bed room and fed baby whilst reading dd stories. Then put baby in cot. Sounds dead simple 3 years later... Not sure it actually went that smoothly at the time. Good luck!

I have a 3.5 year old a 16 week old and am in my own for most bedtimes. I found that getting my baby into a bedtime routine as soon as I could helped. So I alternated bath times to start with. One night I would bath one, while the other was with me in the bathroom (my toddler would "help" me and my baby would have some naked time on a baby mat on the floor). now my little one is bigger I now bath them together, get baby out early and get her ready and then my biggest comes out and I lay baby on the mat while I help dress and dry her. I also stagger bedtimes. Littlest 6.45 biggest 7.15. My eldest would happily play for ten minutes while I fed and put baby down then I could focus on her bedtime "routine" of reading and cuddles before bed. It is a very I stressful hour or so at times but I found the focus of a routine really helped! (And the promise of a glass of vino!)

I feed DS (3mo) while DD (3) watches pre-bedtime tv. So bedtime varies a bit depending on when DS is hungry, but DD doesn't know that . Then I either wear* DS or else put him down if he's fallen properly asleep. I only bathe DD if she's grubby and occasionally give her a daytime "play bath" to get that job out of the way at a more convenient time.

Overall I'd say bedtime is less stressful than trying to get them both out of the house on time!

I have a Moby wrap and absolutely adore* it, but it is getting a bit warm now the weather's heating up a bit, you might want something lighter/ more breathable. I couldn't do without a wrap though, without it I would be infinitely more stressed trying to juggle them both.

Bathing baby, I do the opposite of the PP's routines Either I do DS at a completely different time of day, or else I get DD in the bath while he's lying on the change mat, then I wash DD, do her hair, teeth, etc, so she is all clean and just stays in there playing. Then DS gets a quick dip in and out again, he doesn't like baths much. Once he's recovered from the experience DD comes out of the bath and can get straight into pjs & into bed. (For bonus points I wrap her hair in a towel as soon as its washed, right at the start of the bath- so the whole rest of the time, it's already getting dry.)

DS will either want a feed which I can just about manage while reading stories, or else he'll be zonked out in my arms.

Agree close caboo. Notice that all the people saying they did joint baths have a DD1. Didn't work with my bouncy DS1 (I'm not one for arbitrary gender differences but the extra testosterone toddler boys have is a notable genuine difference). I used an extra pair of hands, bath at different time of day when I had help, and a bouncy chair for baby when old enough. OH put baby down in cot in other room and let it cry a bit when he was doing bed time alone but I couldn't bring myself to. We love slings but couldn't make them work at bedtime. with a big baby and bouncy toddler. But recommend close caboo if using.

I have a just turned 4yr old, just turned 2 yr old and 4 week old. Just did bedtime by myself last night for first time.
Totally intended to skip bath but the older two were filthy after a day of suncream and playing outside at nursery so had to do it!
So... Fed baby at 6.30 while they watched The Gruffalo, for last few minutes of it I took baby upstairs and ran bath.
Then they came up and baby and 4yrold got in bath while 2yrold pottered, baby out and 2yrold in. Dried and dressed baby. 4yrold out, dried and she got dressed and played with baby on changing mat while I washed, dried and dressed 2yrold.
Then all into my bed for stories and baby finished feed. 2yrold in bed first. Extra story in own bed for 4yrold. Then baby and i went downstairs at 7.30 and felt very proud of what felt like a mammoth acheivement! (Would have had vino but baby then cluster feed till she falls asleep at 9.30, at which stage I also give up and go to bed)

My baby is due in 11 weeks and my toddler will be 19 months. Toddler has a nightly bath and doesn't watch TV so I'm planning on continuing the same routine with newborn in a wrap sling. New baby will have a morning bath until she's old enough for a bath seat around 3 months old, then I'll bath both together, read a story to dd1 while feeding dd2 then put both to bed! Here's hoping it works! Dd1 currently just has a bath, pyjamas and bottle of milk she feeds herself in bed, so will continue and add story later!

Oh and initially dd1 will go to bed in her own room and newborn downstairs then in a Moses basket in my room at night. By 3 months in planning on putting them in same room in separate cots.

Then baby and i went downstairs at 7.30 and felt very proud of what felt like a mammoth acheivement!

::applauds::

LOL Giraffes - thank you - I was immensely pleased and celebrated with a cup of tea and 3 choc digestives!!
OP - I think sometimes the thought of these things is scarier than the actual event! I'm so glad my hand was forced to bath then last night as it showed me I could do it. You'll be fine and will find your own rhythm. I do think that if you're bottle feeding I'd use TV rather than feeding with stories as it'd be hard to juggle book, babu and bottle. So maybe TV and feed baby, then upstairs to do your version of bedtime with hopefully a fairly content baby.
Good luck. Xx

To reassure you I found this much less stressful than I expected. You basically need places to put the baby down where it will be warm and cosy etc while you do pajamas story bath whatever for the older one.

Remember newborns will sleep so much they will be dozing for part of it. And eventually they will fall into your routine.

I had a carry cot that I just carried around with me and when baby wanted cuddles I lay her between my legs while I read stories

I actually think it made hee a better settler to sleep as she got used to falling asleep lying on the floor between my legs !