scared to cope with a newborn and 17month old on own

[StanIvorsma]

Hey,
My OH works away and goes back to work next week. I have a smashing little toddler at 17 months and a wonderful little newborn. I am pretty terrified about how I will manage tea time/bath time/bed time. Would love any hints to have it go as smooth as possible. The baby isn't anywhere near a routine as yet. Feeding on demand & always seems the most unsettled between 5-10pm. Not sure how I will juggle them both. Don't want to leave baby to cry but don't know what else or how else I'd do it. Hope someone could give me some hints that would be brill! Many thanks x

You'll be fine! Mine are 3yo and 18mo and i felt exactly the same when my DH went back to work.

I just focused on the eldest, 18mo when DD2 was born, ensuring her routine was the same. And baby just sort of slotted in and around with feeding etc.

With baby I used to bathe earlier with DD1 helping me, or bathe in morning. She wasn't really a priority because at that age they mainly eat, sleep and need a change.

I had a bouncy chair thing which I used to keep baby in whilst I was occupied. Or I would just pop her in the cot.

Not going to lie there were times when it just was a complete madhouse but on the whole it was fine. Just be super organised. They days I used to get stressed and be shout mummy were the days when things weren't organised and in the right place.

Good luck. You can do it.

Before your dh leaves for travel, have the weeks shopping in and essentials stocked up.
I found it easier if I sorted (fed/winded/changed/settled) newborn before toddler at bedtime.
I would bath them during the day (toddler while newborn having nap and vice versa) rather than night time and I don't bath them every day.
I strap newborn into car seat in the house and leave in hallway and then I strap the toddler in to car first so they aren't running around while I put newborn in car.
I used to get dressed and have my breakfast and get newborn up first in the morning and have them sorted before the toddler gets up.
I used to have the toddler's breakfast ready before getting her up.
Have a few quick snacks for toddler to munch on in case their main meal is delayed (saves them wailing and you getting stressed and frustrated).
Have your nappies/powder/cream/clothes well stocked so you have things to hand.
Take it one day at the time, maybe ask your family and friends to pop round to lend a hand and keep you company during the week.

Forgot to add if you don't have a double buggy, I used to use a sling for newborn and put toddler in buggy. It makes it easier because then the toddler can't run off.
It is tough until you get used to it but you learn quickly what works best for you and your dc. It will be busy but manageable. Totally agree that being organised is key to a smoother running day.

You'll be fine. In those early hazy days if you need to skip a bath the odd night or two so what. You'll probably find you have to rely on CBeebies a little more than you used to, until you get on a bit more of a routine, but it's only for a short while.
With regards to baths I put mine in at the same time. Then get the baby out first and get them into dry clothes in the bathroom, whilst the toddler splashes round. But you'll find a way which works best for you

Thank you all. It's just a crazy thought juggling two toots but if I can do anything it's being organised. Will speak to my sis to see about her coming in one night and try to limit bath times to a few times a week. Roll on routine. Feel guilty though as feel like I'm wishing away these early days

One way I coped with not aiming for a daily bath. As a new ds2 could go quite a few days with just a warm
Flannel. Ds1 had a bath ever second day or so.

A sling for baby while you get the toddler dressed might help.

Also remember cheese on toast is complete meal for breakfast lunch or dinner or all three.

Be kind to yourself.

Haha @icjump thank you. Love the cheese on toast idea. Yeah need to remember it's ok to not give myself such a hard time. Have a "friend" who seems to make out that two babies is a breeze and when I get moments of sheer panic about things I feel like I'm failing, miserably. We have such a small home too that I get overwhelmed when it's upside down and in a mess and my hormones are still erratic so I find myself in tears when things are like that. X

Stan
Every one struggles in the early days, some just hide it better than others. You will find your feet and it does get easier to manage, especially when your dd1 gets older and a little more independent (feeding themselves and playing with their toys/entertaining themselves etc).

I have been there, with a newborn 18 month old and 4 yo.

You need to lower your standards and get help .

Get your DH to make soup and other easy meals for the freezer for you . You need things you can heat up easily , with a baby in your arms . Yes you can survive on toast but you will feel crap and be hungry .

Toddlers will not die if they don't eat hot dinners . Cheese , eggs , fish , bread, fruit and veg are fine .

CBeebies is your friend

Don't try to do any housework , just throw some bleach down the loo and sinks and bins . Let your Dh do it when he gets home . He's presumably been having a full nights sleep and dinner in a hotel for a week so he will be well rested .

Newborn babies don't need bathed every day . Just do their neck and bits .

Have someone come and visit you mid week , preferably to take the two kids out for a walk in the buggy . Then cook you dinner .

I felt exactly the same with my 17mth old and newborn. Now I'm wondering what the hell I was worried about as I try to manage my 2 yr old, 1yr old and newborn...lol.

Definitely get a sling. Google for your local sling library where you can try them out and hire them.