Oh, Lozza, that sounds so hard!
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My DS1 was like that. He is now 12yo and I still shudder at the memory of his first year.
He needed constant movement to not cry - as soon as the motion stopped (me walking/pram wheels/car wheels) he'd wake/rouse and scream.
It did improve slowly the more he could do for himself, so sitting was good, crawling better, walking v good.
With hindsight I think he was frustrated by his lack of physical ability and also quite a sensitive, easily spooked child.
My advice? Do what you need to do to survive. Yes, we should all love to enjoy the first few months with our child, but sometimes it's just not enjoyable, so don't put pressure on yourself to compulsory enjoy it when it's so hard.
I went on to have 3 more btw
- DS2 was v laid-back, DS3 and 4 halfway in-between, but by then I was more chilled about just not liking looking after young babies
.
I love my walking, talking DCs now - DS4 is 5yo and v funny.