Completely fed up with people branding my lovely dd2 as a nightmare

[manchestermummy]

When in fact she is a normal child.

I have two dds. Dd1 (7) is very mature, intelligent (v high achiever at school) and has always been rather gentle. DD2 (4) is different. She also seems to be a sharp cookie, but unlike her sister is more 'fiery', and as she is only just 4, does still have the odd tantrums. I have no reason to think there is anything at all wrong with her and her forceful personality - and that is no euphemism for naughty as often her behaviour is better than dd1's - is refreshing. She isn't her sister!!

The trouble is that my parents and FIL in particular have decided she is a horror. She is naughty, not as clever as her sister, hot-headed and according to my FIL will cause us a lot of trouble in the future.

My heart is broken. Why do people have to be like this? She is so lovely, articulate and kind it hurts me to my very core that people who allegedly love her would say such things. Even if she did have the "behavioural problems" my FIL is keen to point out I would love her

Posted too soon..

I would love her no less

I think every personality type has its positives and then the bits you might want to work on as a parent and it sounds like you believe this too.

I have a child who is quite introverted and not boisterous that often, and also quite willing to give cuddles. My MiL has compared this favourably with another couple of grandsons of hers she describes with a shake of the head as "wild" and "not loving".

So these boys have been to stay with me recently and I ended up quite irate on their behalf as they were stars tbh. They were well mannered, robust but well controlled (they are older than 4!), very different to their cousin in temperament but lovely and an absolute credit to their M and D. I put all this judging down to my MiL being an ignorant woman who lacks imagination and talks nonsense to fill in air time.

It must be so hurtful that comparisons are being made between your two children. You have my sympathies.

Presumably you are obliged to meet and interact with these critical people. We, fortunately, never had much in the way of 'family' so didn't have those problems.

Just avoid seeing them as much as you can, though I realise that could be difficult with Christmas coming up.

Good luck, anyway, and I hope it doesn't spoil your Christmas.

Interesting. Were they boys they would be entitled to be different. But still rumbuctious. Imo it says more about them then your dd. but you knew that anyway.

From one fellow mother of two very different girls to another. Different is good