DD sleeping in her own room for the first time

[Rabbiting0n]

Hi All,

My DD is 9.5 m/o. She has slept through the night since she was 7/8 weeks old so it has never really been an issue for DH and I to have her sleeping in her own room.

The plan was for her to go into her own room in her cot once she outgrew her Moses basket but we were living in a 3 storey house with master bedroom on top floor and nursery on middle floor. I'm paranoid about crime etc., and was uncomfortable with the thought of her being on a lower floor than us, so DH moved DD into a travel cot once her Moses basket got too small. That way she stayed sleeping in our room.

We moved house 2.5 months ago and our room is now on the same floor as the nursery. We were going to get DD's room set up and then move her into her own room at night.

Then, 1 month after we moved house, I came back from a baby class with DD to find that we had been broken into. They don't seem to have taken anything but they ransacked our bedroom and smashed a load of glass doors.

I'm really uncomfortable in my own home now, and put a burglar alarm on when we go to sleep and lock our bedroom door. DH wants DD to go in her own room now that it's all set up, and I know she can't sleep in with us forever but if I feel the need to bolt our bedroom door at night, how can I have her sleeping in her own room? We would have to leave her door and our door open and I honestly don't know if I'd manage to get any sleep.

Does anyone else worry about security, and subsequently, feel comfortable about having their LO in their own room?

I know I have to get on with it but I really don't know HOW I am going to do that?

Baby monitor? And don't lock your door. Not sure what locking your door accomplishes anyway, if you have an alarm?

Also, you may want to speak to your doctor about your levels of anxiety over this.

why would your bedroom doors need to be open? You could have a monitor instead if you would worry about hearing her.

i think you need to talk through your fears with someone.

i have never experienced it, so can't honestly say i can understand how you're feeling, but i imagine it's pretty awful to be a victim of a crime like that, and i do get that you still feel uncomfortable

having said that thouhg, you have taken steps to prevent it happening again, you have a burglar alarm. i think bolting your bedroom door is potentially overkill? it's quite unliukely, i'd have thought, that someone is going to bypass your alarm, come upstairs in a house that's occupied and then do something to you or your dd...

It is much more unlikely that you'll be broken into at night rather than during the day when your house is empty. We got broken into when we lived in London and the CID bloke said that people watch to see if houses are empty, knock on the door, if no one answers they'll take a chance. If you have an alarm and all windows etc are locked I think you're as safe as you can be. I personally wouldn't lock bedroom doors at night because of the risk of fire safety. We sleep with our bedroom doors ajar so we can hear DS in the night without the need for a monitor.

Assuming you have a baby monitor you could still lock your door but I think instead better to have a look at your windows doors etc for a weak point and set alarm at night time. I think also some therapy - why didn't you put your dd in her own room as soon as you moved even if still in travel cot. I only let dc have top small windows open at night but otherwise no I am not worried about them being in own room (aged 3 7 and 10).

We didn't put her in her own room as soon as we moved in as we were having work done and hadn't unpacked so her room was full of storage boxes and her cot wasn't set up. The workmen still haven't finished because they are rubbish but we have set up her room now, anyway.

I know that you are statistically less likely to be broken into at night when you are in, I know that alarms help reduce risk etc., but it is the fact that security has always bothered me, even as a young child (I know many people who have been broken into) and then it happen to us weeks after buying this house. Although I know it's unlikely to happen again it still makes me feel uneasy.

We don't have small window upstairs so windows have to be either on 'ventilator' or shut. We do have a monitor but it works through our phones so doesn't work when we go to bed as you have to have your phone screen on running the app (I know we can get new monitors...)

Our burglar alarm has also gone off twice in the middle of the night in the last month and once randomly in the day when I was out. Apparently convention currents and electromagnetic fields can cause false alarms. Although I can 100% rationalise everything it still makes me uneasy and I don't see how therapy would help because a) I know the stats etc, and they don't make me feel better, b) I've studied clinical psychology, know about the various therapies, and still feel the way I do and c) I don't believe how I feel is that abnormal (all my mum-friends feel the same way I do about security etc. None of them have felt my feelings so weird as to suggest therapy is needed.

I know it's pathetic but coming home with your young baby to find smashed glass everywhere, your bedroom ransacked with all the drawers open, your possessions riffled through and strewn everywhere is unsettling.

I guess my original question was really, does anyone worry about their child being in a different room, from a security point of view, and if so, did anything make them feel more comfortable?

Get an angelcare movement monitor. Has helped me sleep since ds, 3 months, went intonhis own room

I think you need to really think about this & decide (a) whether you want to feel like this forever (b) how your feelings will impact upon your child long term.

We were broken into when we weren't at home & I know how it can make you feel insecure & worried about it happening again. In our case they'd been watching the house & knew we weren't in. Perhaps you could peak to your local police. The statistics bear out that basically criminals are cowards & unless you have stacks of cash, jewellery & posh cars on your drive like premiership footballers they're not going o bother you when you're in, it's too risky.

We have an alarm which I set when my husband is away & when we're not in. We have it serviced yearly so we know its in good order. I have learnt to ignore the marks they made on the walls when thy were in my house. I try to suppress the eagerness to see if my car is still on the drive when we return from a weekend away. I always lock the back door throughout the days I'm at home. It took us both a while to not hear bumps in the night & when a shelf fell out of the wall & had us both in the hallway with a cricket bat we laughed about it.

You simply cannot have your child in your room when they're older. It's just not realistic in my mind either to give your child confidence & independence as they get older or to give you and your husband the space for a great relationship. You cannot live your life in such fear & you need to work out how to make that happen.

Like I said, talk to the police or your local victim support. We paid £35 for a baby monitor, but if it takes £130 & one with a video input to make you be happy with them in their own room, do it. Only you can decide to move on & you have the power & confidence in you to do it, cos that's what mums do. Good luck Hun x x x