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Original poster

Am I being sensitive honest opinions please

27 replies

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 17:38

School pick up ,my Ds want to invite his friend home for tea I say ask him but I am going in to see the teacher ( maths homework see previous threads LOL ) Any way just as he is about to ask another friend (call him F ) asks his mate first if he wants to go to his house for tea but Ds mum say no not today . (got it so far ) So my Ds asks his mate to come round for tea . As we live a way from the school I always take kids home .So my ds says will I take friend home after and I say yes of course . So I go in to see teacher 5 mins max I come out and say well are we going then and Ds mates mum says oh Fs mum has now said he can go there for tea. So my Ds is in tears saying nobody comes to his house . Now is it me but if you say yes you stick to it and dont change your mind 2 minutes later .

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CountessDracula · 13/06/2006 17:39

How old?

Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 17:41

7 so not that bigger deal in the scheme of things and alot more further knocks to come in life but I am pissed of that mates mum said yes and 2 minutes later says he is going to other mate . IYSWIM .

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Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 17:46

should have said .... But Fs mum says no not today ,
its been a hot day today and everything seems to be muddled and my words not coming out properly .

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Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 17:53

Am I ???? please tell me so I can get over it .It is no biggie I felt sorry for my son and I think thats why i was more upset than I should have been .

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SoupDragon · 13/06/2006 17:58

F did ask first though.

SoupDragon · 13/06/2006 17:59

Make a date in the future for the friend to come over rather than trying to sort it out on the day.

Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 17:59

but Fs mum said no

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Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:00

sorting it out on the day seems the thing they do . But your suggestion is a better one . Ds mates mum has just rang but I chickened out and didnt answer the phone .

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Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:01

oh and ds mates mum said yes if I bring him home . which i said i would do .

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tenalady · 13/06/2006 18:03

IM FEELING BLOODY FURIOUS READING THIS. I get totally pi**ed off with these mums that do the big announcement in front of the little ones. 'Would so an so like to come to our for tea today' My ds gets dreadfully upset too and I know others in the nursery that do. I know they need to understand social skills but fgs. Put yourself as an adult in that situation, it doesnt feel very good does it when somebody in your group is being asked to an event but you get missed out.

Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:05

Thank you tena lady my ds was crying and that unusual for him so I was really upset on his behalf and I told him so, funny thing was this seemed to make him feel better I suppose it was like he felt I understood how he was feeling .

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Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:07

ok so I have avoided the phone what do I act like tomorrow morning I think I will go for the dash at the last minute into school and I do reading every day in ds class so I can hide in the classroom . I dont want to explain why I was angry as it sounds so childish .

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juuule · 13/06/2006 18:11

Nope - not a big deal. These things happen when arrangements are made on the spur of the moment. I tell mine that going to tea at friends houses has to be planned at least the day before and I would need to speak to the parent. I've been caught out before with the kids arranging it themselves and parents being lead to believe one of the mum's has said okay when in fact they know nothing about it. Also, being asked in front of parent and child to put us on the spot. So, although there have been exceptions, in the main the rule is no spur of the moment invites - either way.

Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:18

ok new rule no tea dates that are made on the day . i days notice at least . I will not be sucked into this .

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vitomum · 13/06/2006 18:25

i don't think the other mum was really out of order - probably just trying to keep her ds happy too. Having said that i totally understand that you were upset because your ds was. so i suppose it was just one of those things - yes upsetting but no blame to be apportioned.

Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:27

Ok I will get over this but it is so nice to be able to type what you really think and because no one knows you they tell you the truth . But I am still not going to answer the phone . LOL

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SoupDragon · 13/06/2006 18:29

You are being way over sensitive. I can't believe you didn't answer the phone!!

And I don't get the "doing the big announcement" thing, Tenalady. It's one friend for tea, not a private party.

Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:35

I didnt answer the phone because I dont want to tell her why I was upset because it sounds so silly but she wouldnt have rang me unless she knew it wasnt the done thing to say yes to one kid and 2 minutes later say no sorry he is going to other friends . But i will get over it after all it is no biggie and there are worse things to get annoyed about .

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Axolotl · 13/06/2006 18:40

I think the mum showed a basic lack of manners, peasinapod. Sigh...I despair sometimes. I think I am going to bcome an etiquette vigilante in my spare time. I get very bothered by things like this and wish I didn't care. I don't think you're being silly. When it's our kids, it really hurts. My son's supposed very close friend had left a message on the machine one day (let's say my Ds is called Sam) saying in the background, '...mum, not EVEN Sam is in'. Which upset me and probably was a bit oversensitive!

SoupDragon · 13/06/2006 18:46

Anything could have happened in the 5 mins you were away. Maybe the guest child begged to be allowed to go to the other child's house? Maybe F was deeply upset that the Guest couldn't come to his house but could go to yours? From the Guest Child's POV, F asked first and his mum said no. To then say yes to allow him to come to your house is rude. For your DS to ask him to come after he's been told he can't go to the other child's house is also rude. How do you think the other child felt when the friend wasn't allowed to go to his house but could go to yours?

Sorry, still think your being over sensitive and to avoid this mother's call is just plain silly :) And I mean it in the nicest possible way!

Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:47

I think we need to grow a hardened skin I mean things aint gonna get any easier are they . lol

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Original poster

peasinapod · 13/06/2006 18:53

Ok soup dragon i think we are at crossed posts here . I didnt explain it properly . My son was going to ask his friend (A) for tea befor he could do so another friend (F) asked A to come for tea . Fs mum said he could not have A for tea as she was busy . So my ds asked A if he can come to ours ,A s mum said YES . I come back and A is now going to Fs house because Fs mum changed her mind because F was nagging her and said ok A can come for tea . so my ds after having been told yes A can come for tea now he is going to Fs house . Even writing this all down it seems so silly .

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juuule · 13/06/2006 19:12

Sounds like A's mum has been a bit distracted and is just trying to stop the nagging. Probably not even taking a lot of notice at the time. Which might be why, after having time for it to sink in, possibly is upset herself at what happened and worried you will be upset at her. So might have tried to phone you.

mrsbang · 13/06/2006 19:14

Yes, you're being sensitive....but I know I've felt exactly the same in similar situations before now (usually depends on what mood I'm in myself tbh as to whether I get annoyed or not)

Don't let it get to you.

mrsbang · 13/06/2006 19:16

AND I've ignored the phone lol, cos I just know it's all too daft for words, but that doesn't stop me having got upset in different situations.

Can't help being oversensitive now and again.

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