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Original poster

rang child protection services about ds

309 replies

beansontoast · 24/05/2006 14:46

....social worker just rang me back...thinks there are grounds to investigate further.

im in proper full on shock...not as bad as last night,but still shaking abit and i feel like its happening to someone else...a bit detached...functioning but not with it....

my ds...three this sept...was creepily sexually expilicit last night .i wont sya what he said cos im feeling cautious.

something about the context ,manner...his choice of words...his choice of verb...immediately waved a red flag for me.oh god i feel so so sick.

OP posts:
gigglewiggle · 25/05/2006 12:34

My heart also goes out to you...i hope your ds is ok x

TheMammy · 25/05/2006 13:44

How are things today BOT? I hope you are feeling a bit lighter today hun. How is his daddy taking it?

Elibean · 25/05/2006 14:03

Thinking of you today too, Beans...wishing you all the strength and stamina and support possible. xC

chocolatequeen · 25/05/2006 14:11

I don´t know what to say to you apart from i hope that you feel the support from MN in the coming weeks. Please keep posting if it helps. Hope you all had a (relatively) good night´s sleep. Keep focusing on positives - he´s still in your arms and safe now, and you will all move on together from this. honestly. better times will come.

huge hugs, and a lot of strength. i´m so glad you have a family around you.

xx

EvesMama · 25/05/2006 14:35

my sounds very upsetting and serious, have the people/persons concerned been spoken to?..to prevent anything further happening?

Original poster
beansontoast · 25/05/2006 19:56

a very long day today...but at least we have been able to put him to bed at his usual time and hope that somehow he manages to catch up some sleep....

we are all walking zombies...taking it in turns to have a wobble...dp is a dp...

this morning ds said something else ...that made me see red....although slighty different in what it means...

the shocks are just that....SHOCKING...physical jolts that make you flinch and rock and wail...

it doesnt matter that my mind is racing permenatly sifting thoughts and interpreting everything in this new fucked up context......there is no thing greater than the head fuck of knowing that something has happened but not knowing th ewhats,whens,how longs whos wheres etc ...torturous.

at the hospital today...where we went so the drs could thoroughly examine him...we ended up spending so long on cse history stuff nd talk around the subject etc, that by the time they wanted to examine him, he had totally run out of juice.
he was sooooooo tired and grizzly and scared and anxious and all those things that he would be given that he has missed sleep and quiet time

so no evidence to bring to the strategy meeting that followed it...but inm my mind they should do it again if th etest doesnt work the first time Angry
i am angrier today than yesterday...with fits of rage and then calm....words really are no where near enough....

thanks again all of you,for your kind and warmhearted posts...im very touched...the great thing is when something is written down like this you can go back to it again and again for another shot of reaassurance
xx

OP posts:
Twiglett · 25/05/2006 20:00

BeansonToast

You can do this .. even when you feel that you can't .. you can do this

You will get through this .. and you will enable your DS to do the same.

My heart bleeds for what you are going through .. for what your whole family is going through.

You are doing the very best for your child and your family. the very best. You can be proud of the parent you are.

Stay strong

Twinkie1 · 25/05/2006 20:05

I really don't have any wise words for you other than to say children are terribly resiliant and with yuo and DP as his parents one day this long nightmare will be something that 'happened' rather than is 'happening'.

Hope you know how many people are thinking of you and your family at this time.

TWINKIE X

Original poster
beansontoast · 25/05/2006 20:19

i AM a proud parent...i feel no shame whatsoever ...about the soc workers police or anything...

the social worker thought this was very unusual.the way i see it is i am recriuting a squad of professionals to help us...loads of top notch experienced professional advisors who have been dealing with this nonstop since it happened.its hugely reassuring...

having said that wierd rant...i am scared taht they have missed evidence and that this investigation will run out of steam...and nothing conclusive will be acheived...and i will be left with my petrol bomb / bludgeoning/hate campaign fantasies Sad

OP posts:
tooz · 25/05/2006 20:22

I don't really know what to say except that you sound like an incredibly strong person and a fantastic mum. My thoughts are with you.

ComeOVeneer · 25/05/2006 20:28

Have followed this thread with absolute shock. Just wanted to add my support. Just remember ass others have said, you are now fighting tooth and nail to protect your little boy. He is still with you and is now safe from harm, knows you love him unconditionally and is young enough that this shouldn't effect him in any way when he is older. Stay strong and there will be light at the end of the tunnel. AND... do continue to post on here for advice/support/or just a shoulder to cry on in the tough hours.

JackieNo · 25/05/2006 20:30

No, Beansontoast, you're right - definitely no shame: you can be very proud of yourself, and the way you're coping with this. Have been thinking of you on and off all day, wondering how it was going. You have all our good thoughts with you, you know...Smile

BonyM · 25/05/2006 20:45

Can only reiterate what others have said.

Your ds is lucky to have a mother like you, who has listened, believed, and acted. Somehow you will all get through this and come out the other side.

This must be every mother's worst nightmare, feel so desperately sorry that you are going through this.

Keep strong. xx

vitomum · 25/05/2006 20:55

i'm glad you are getting good support from the professionals beansontoast and that you have good family and of course MN - keep using it all and it will keep you strong for your ds. People can come through this and you are giving him the abosolute best opportunity to do that. You are being amazing. my heart totally goes out, take lots of care x

eggybreadandbeans · 25/05/2006 20:59

So sorry you're all going through this, beansontoast.

Crossing fingers and toes that it all works out OK.

Thinking of you

eggybreadandbeans

eggybreadandbeans · 25/05/2006 21:00

So sorry you're all going through this, beansontoast.

Crossing fingers and toes that it all works out OK.

Thinking of you

eggybreadandbeans

peasinapod · 25/05/2006 21:08

Thinking of you in the whole nightmare . Keep strong .

TheMammy · 25/05/2006 21:10

BOT, are you allowed to say where it happened at and if they have been questioned yet or not? I have to say I admire your calmness, I think I'd have to tie myself down so as not to go ahead with a hate campaign and a baseball bat!

sugarfree · 25/05/2006 21:10

Just wanted you to know that I am in awe of your strength.
Thinking of you and your family.

Original poster
beansontoast · 25/05/2006 21:50

as far as i know,the investigation sort of forks and has two lines of inquiry...stuff to do with me and ds and what he said ....and the main suspect is looked into at the same time.

teh police said they will prob ably be able to work out where the accusation or whatever came from....(not sure how i feel about that...sick probably covers it)

i believe that that service will be forced to be suspended ...there were other preverbal toddlers there and social services were duly concerned about that.

the thing is its not really my business anymore...its there job to sort it out and also teh suspects right to confidentiality.

to be honest i am pleased,i am going to force myself to stop thinking about that sid e of things and try to remember that HES OUT OF THERE NOW

im going to go to bed now and watch 'curb your enthusiasm' for soem momentary respite from my aching head,face and guts.

cant say thanks enough for teh votes of confidence and goodwill xx

OP posts:
TheMammy · 25/05/2006 21:56

Okay, so if it happened in a place where children/toddlers are cared for then it is not only your duty to protect your son, but your duty to warn other mothers what could happen if their children are left there. I think you were dead right to report this behaviour that he is showing and that they are right to investigate it... a 3yr old shouldn't be left in a place where he can be harmed, and in no way am I saying any child should, but at 3 he can talk to you and say what's going on, if it is happening to younger children who cannot voice it, this is awful. You are such a strong lady.

plummymummy · 25/05/2006 21:58

It's just a thought, but does this individual(s) have access to other kids? OMG it's so scary. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, but agree with the others that you are obviously a strong and loving mum. I bet you keep waking up wishing you'd had a nightmare SadWhat you said about the intuition thing.....that worries me as I had a scary thought about the guy that works at ds's nursery but then I thought no, I'm being silly - they all have to do CRB checks. Makes you wonder doesn't it Sad

kalex · 25/05/2006 22:00

My thoughts are with you. You are a brave strong amazing woman (((hugs)))

Callisto · 25/05/2006 22:01

My heart goes out to you and your son.

plummymummy · 25/05/2006 22:02

Sorry crossed post. Shit this is very worrying. Maybe you could send an anonymous note to the parents of the other kids to warn them not to take their kids there ( imagine if they don't close down)

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