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Original poster

rang child protection services about ds

309 replies

beansontoast · 24/05/2006 14:46

....social worker just rang me back...thinks there are grounds to investigate further.

im in proper full on shock...not as bad as last night,but still shaking abit and i feel like its happening to someone else...a bit detached...functioning but not with it....

my ds...three this sept...was creepily sexually expilicit last night .i wont sya what he said cos im feeling cautious.

something about the context ,manner...his choice of words...his choice of verb...immediately waved a red flag for me.oh god i feel so so sick.

OP posts:
Twiglett · 26/05/2006 11:55

You are doing such a great job .. please contact beety if you think it will help .. she is very nice

cupcakes · 26/05/2006 11:57

Have just seen this. Am so gutted for you and your ds. Your posts show so much courage.

welshmum · 26/05/2006 12:24

Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you

Overrun · 26/05/2006 12:27

Reading through this thread, like many other people I have felt a load of emotions, it really is one of a parents worst nightmares come true. If I feel so shell shocked just reading about it, god knows how you are coping.
It sounds as if adrenilin is keeping you going, as you say things move very quickly when this sort of thing is being investigated. From your last couple of entries, it sounds as if the initial shock is wearing off and you are getting more distressed. I know you want to keep strong for your ds, but don't fight this completely, as you need to acknowledge your own feelings as well, and if you keep it all too tightly together now it shores up problems for the future.
I am filled with admiration for the way that you seem to coping with this, and am really glad that you find posting theraputic. I'll be thinking of you Beansontoast

morningpaper · 26/05/2006 12:38

So sorry Beans, another person here thinking o you and your lovely baby today xxx

MamaMaiasaura · 26/05/2006 12:41

Beans, you sound like an amazing mummy. Lots of warm thoughts for your family esp your ds.

I really look up to you on how you are handling this situation, it is every parents worst nightmare and all too often the voices of the children get ignored. I totally admire you.

xxx

franke · 26/05/2006 12:45

Thinking of you and your boy here too. And total respect and admiration to you for picking up on this and acting on it so quickly. You probably don't feel it right now but, believe me, you're very brave. xx

Kaloo20 · 26/05/2006 13:45

Beans ...

Just to add to the chorus of support. You are very brave. You are doing exactly the right thing.
Stay Strong
xx

maomao · 26/05/2006 13:48

I also wanted to add to the chorus of support. You are an incredibly brave and strong woman, and your ds is so lucky to have you there for him.

dinosaure · 26/05/2006 13:52

Best wishes, beans. Thinking of you and your little boy.

Piffle · 26/05/2006 13:53

Just another hope you're doing ok message beans, its incomprehensible to have deal with this
Thinking of you and your ds, you are coping with so much courage xxxxxxxxxx
He may not remember all the hoohah one day but he will always remember how good a mummy he has who is there for him and watches over him xx

vitomum · 26/05/2006 13:58

hi beans, i hope having your friend there today is helping you get through this day. your ds sounds adorable, i can't imagin my 2 year old ds being so empathetic. stay strong and keep talking x

EvesMama · 26/05/2006 14:04

you are holding it together so well even if you think you arn't..i would be murderous and couldnt be as calm and well together as you are..well done

MrsBigD · 26/05/2006 14:13

BOT I've been following your thread and I'm lost for words and full of tears for you and your ds. I have to admire your strength and you're doing a great job with your ds. Glad to see you're getting lots of help.

I don't think I could keep it together that much! Though I would hope I'd be as supportive to my kids as you are to your ds. You are just an amazing woman and a wonderful mother.

As for my dh... he'd probably 'take care' of the problem no matter what the consequences if anybody EVER dared touch our children.

madmarchhare · 26/05/2006 14:21

Beans, I hope this doesnt sound patronising but you are being so brave. Please contact Beety, or at least speak with someone that can help you to sort out all this crap in your head.

I really hope that you, your beautiful boy and your family can find a way to cope with everything that has happened to you all very soon.

Axolotl · 26/05/2006 14:27

Beansontoast,
Just read this thread and just wanted to send you a huge, virtual hug. Remember that most people are not bad but with the best will in the world, bad still things can still happen to our kids. I think the love and care you have for him, combined with time, will eventually cancel this out from his life completely. It may take time, but I think he is young enough not to be damaged permanently by this. You sound like a really good mother who could NOT have forseen this. x

Skyler · 26/05/2006 14:30

You are being amazing. Thinking of you.

NotAnOtter · 26/05/2006 14:57

thinking of you! Sad

Xavielli · 26/05/2006 15:05

It is an amazing tribute to you as a parent that your son is concerned for you when you cry, it shows that you are not reflecting your digust as to what these awful people have done onto your son.

You ARE amazing!

Big hugs and prayers!

Chloe55 · 26/05/2006 15:39

I have been sat here thinking of what to say to you Beansontoast and the truth of it is "What can you say?"

Thank god your son has a mother like you.

BeetrootOldDeer · 26/05/2006 18:06

i am just goign to put my email address again in case you miss it

beetrootbeetroot at hotmail dot co dot uk

Original poster
beansontoast · 26/05/2006 18:10

oh god you lot make me sob sooo hard....and thats a good thing.i am largely numb most of the time.

all of your comments are so appreciated,i never ever realised how powerful they could be...i will never read and not post for fear of not being poignant enough..it really f'ing is the thought that counts

suzywong...yeah i totally agree...i think prob the hardest thing for ds has been mine and dp's suffering and weird beahiour making him uneasy Sad

his nanny is up from the country...and we have been out doing a puddle audit for the last hour or so...good times for all of us.

marina..''lapping it up and marvelling and being politely appreciative while the rest of me wanted to scream and trash the place and rip everyone's heads off'' ...my heart goes out to you too xx

my frind sat and listened to my squawking rants about random grievances...and then took me for a drive and we chatted for the whole time about other stuff (we hadnt caught up for ages cos of my exams)...so it was a massive relief,the downside being the pain of rembering the live issue at home...like being punched in the stomach and then repeatedly in the head.

im not sure what other bombshells await us...

im so glad that beety has had references providedSmilecos to be honest im so parnoid at the moment i thought it could be a cyber rubber necker wnating sick facts Sad...god im a mess really ...all this 'you are so brave' stuff baffles me.

thanks beety i will be in touch xx

and 'big up to the m.net massive' you are the bollocks xx

OP posts:
Original poster
beansontoast · 26/05/2006 18:12

oooh beety you were just there!didnt see you...can you cat me?

OP posts:
LeahE · 26/05/2006 18:14

Beans, I don't have anythiong helpful to say but I'm thinking of you and your ds (who sounds absolutely lovely). A big virtual hug, and I'm so glad you have supportive family and friend around to give you real ones.

Angeliz · 26/05/2006 18:18

beansontoast, have followed thois but didn't/don't really know what to say.
I can't imagine how hard this is for youSad
I read the bit about him saying 'drink some your tea' and nearly cried myself at him. There really are some sick f*s in the World.
I don't think i can say any words to help, just wanted to say, as otehrs have, how lucky he is to have you as a Mummy. You sounds like a bery loving supportive family. That will carry him through and hopefully he won't remember thisSad
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