What am I meant to be doing with 4mo DD? I don't mean the obvious stuff like feeding, changing, trying to get her to sleep, etc., I mean the rest of the time. I like it when she's feeding or sleeping or even fighting sleep because then I know what I'm supposed to do.
I suspect the answer involves playing and reading to her and stuff; the trouble is, I really don't want to. I feel like the worst mum in the world, but by the time I've dealt with the screaming fit and got her to sleep and held her through the nap and dealt with the waking-up screams and changed and fed her, I just want to put her down, hand her a toy or two and leave her to it. I don't have the energy to care. My energy levels are at rock bottom and I don't think it's lack of sleep because the nights are really not too bad (maybe because I know what I have to do at nights?).
I feel like I'm stuck on a treadmill and can't get off. I end up resenting DD's demands and then hating myself for it. There isn't anyone to help. I don't trust the HV; she's been useless on everything. DH does his best but he works long hours, and we don't have any family nearby.