What do you say to 'show off my child' mothers?

[Matildathebrave]

My DD is nearly four and at school nursery. She is doing well in my opinion and enjoying nursery. She has just learnt to write her name and can count to 20, sometimes with mistakes. She is bright and knows her colours, shapes etc and recognises her letters and numbers, again often with mistakes.

My problem is, compared to a lot of the other children in the class, she is not one of the bright ones.

I don't discuss what she can and can't do, though some mum's do, usually the 'bright' children's mums.

What do you say to them if anything?

It happens daily, one child for example, can write a list of rhyming words without help, can tell the time and knows the value of coins and can give change. She is three. Her mum boasts about her all the time and I just smile and say that's good.

It is starting to wind me up though! Am I being silly or would this annoy you?

I'd just smile and say how lovely and change the subject.

Other children's achievements are pretty dull really and the other mothers will hopefully realise that soon.

Smile and say that's good, it's all you can do.
Your DD will find her niche sooner or later.

It would annoy me a bit, but I would just ignore as much as possible or Nod and Smile.

Most of them will even out in the end.

That child won't be writing 'I could count money when I was 3' on their CV in 15 years

Yes agree, change the subject or look to talk to another parent.

I thing that smiling and nodding is the only way.

There are so many different things children could be good at, only a few are measured at school.

Thing is, many children who start off way ahead of the others are soon caught up or even overtaken. Just remind yourself of this as you smile through gritted teeth

There's a really interesting book called Nurture Shock that collates genuine rsearch - peer reviewed, scholarly research - on parenting. It's fascinating because so much of it does go against what we all assume to be the truth. Praise is almost always bad for a child, for example... and small kids who are well ahead aren't any likelier to be ahead a decade later, even if they get put into a Gifted and Talented cohort. I'd read that, then smile and say "how nice" safe in the knowledge that their kid may not maintain this brilliance in the years ahead, so why not let the mum enjoy her moments of glory while she can. ;)

it sounds to me as if your dd is doing just fine- well even. and it all evens out v soon. if one mum in partic gets boring, talk to another! how lovely their dcs are doing so well! but there are other things to talk about too so pick some of them,they'll soon realise they are boring you!

I always find 'did she get her brains from her daddy then' works wonders

Thank you all. Yes, will prob continue with the polite nods and change the subject.

I'm sure my daughter will catch up in the end.

There is one thing she is really good at .....playing! She has a great imagination too xx

i think your DD is doing brilliant,,she can write her own name at 4,,thats pretty good,just smile and nod,i am getting the same from people,DD is 9months,she is not crawling or walking,she is much happier sitting and playing on her own,she however looks like she is 18 months and people who know when she was born are always commenting',is she walking yet? why isn't she walking? my response is she will crawl,walk and talk when she is ready,her time not yours and they do shut up..

I dont know what i'd say but i'd think they we're exagerating abit and telling fibs

Just try to ignore them :)

I would get very annoyed and would have to sarcastically say 'Really? How interesting'.

Imarriedafrog I prefer - wow you should send her down to Asda, they need checkout staff.

"Goodness, really, how fascinating...." whilst trying not to yawn as your eyes glaze over.

What do I say to them? As little as I can get away with, frankly...

Its very annoying, but I would try to ignore it as much as possible.

My DD is 4.5yo and in Reception. I occasionally have a little panic as if everything all the other mums are saying is true, then my DD is behind a lot of the others. Then I have to give myself a little shake and repeat to myself: 'she is only four, and she is happy and well.' What else can you hope for really?

Its so easy to get caught up in the competitive parenting, but the best thing to do is rise above it, and presume that its all being exaggerated anyway.

Your dd sounds bright and normal. Certanly not behind in any way.

Let the other mum enjoy her pride. As long as she's not denigrating other children, what does it matter?

As the mother of a very bright and 'different' child, I'd say that these differences are important. Even if the child levels off in ten years time, he still needs the extra stimulation while he is ahead of his peers.

But that mum really does need to learn some modesty. Her attitude will win her no friends among the parents of most of her dd's classmates.

i know a few mums like that i just smile ,nod and walk on by !!

@ whomoved.

Smiling and nodding is the only way, as many have said on here. Never, ever, ever be tempted to get into a discussion at Nursery or School about what your child can do, it will only lead to bad feelings.

FWIW I think your DD is doing fine too. Our DD is due to start school in September and will just be 4. She only started talking just before her 3rd birthday.

perfect Nurture Shock sounds very interesting. Am off to look at it now.

Just keep smiling and nodding...
remember Einstein was not a child prodigy and was unable to speak fluently at age 9..don't let it wind you up every child is different

Smile and say thats good, change the subject.

It bugs me when this goes on, my dd is 4yrs doin well in school, mainly because she is learning new things. The kids that know it all will be bored sh@&less. All children are so different and develop differently. At that age she is doing great, and most important she is happy. Playing and her imagination are most important at present. Not learning to count money or writing!! That's all covered in school, and if she knew it all now you would have a very bored little girl In class.

Wow when i read your post i thought your daughter was incredibly smart! The other kids must be geniouses and that's not usual at all to be able to do all those things at 3!

.......i like the responses from whomovedmy choclate and imarried a frog - priceless and so tempting ha ha!

How pathetic.

I get this nonsense too and couldn't care less.

I met 5 mums at swimming lessons who's kids are all same age. All now 3.5 they are all different.

One mum bangs on and on about how XXXXX can read letters and numbers (it's true, i've seen him read out the alphabet) and how he is sometimes too bright for his peers as he seems like a 5/6 yr old compaired to them which I have apparently to take no offence too .

Thing is, XXXXX can't bloody speak properly! Nobody can hear a word he say's!

Never mind, there's always something to be smug about !