DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

i was under the impression that the GP would make a referral to a paediatrician who specialised in this to carry out the exam. i didn't think the GP would carry it out themselves. i just thought the GP was the first point of contact in order to get that referral.

If he has touched her internally she needs a medical exam asap.

an examination may not have to happen.

My DC was examined by GP. Wld strongly recommend waiting for appointment with an experienced GP - don't do what we did and go for first appointment available.

Op know i posted my side of my story but hows this for ironic I have been on the other side of it as spent fair amount of time working with young girls that had been fostered and some that had suffered abuse .( never reveavled my own though).If you want to ask what happens next will try explain what the procedures are inbox me if you prefer

I am not going to name change for this either, but here is another victim of abuse, although mine was by a much older family member (step grandad). I was 6 when it started and 13 when i told my mum, although i played it down quite abit and didnt tell them the full extent of the abuse.

They stopped me from being alone with him and put a lock on my bedroom door and it never happened again, but i always felt it was swept under the carpet. When i was 23 i told my mum the full extent of what happened and she was shocked and asked my sisters if they had been abused, they had. she was very supportive and believed every thing i told her without question which helped me alot.

Get help from professionals please and make sure you talk to your DD about this if she wants to whether it be now or in yrs time.

Sorry, only just found time to come back on MN.
Thank you for replies, A lot of messages to catch up on.

I spoke to DD1 just to find out if anything has happened to her. She said DS1 pretends she needs a nappy change (as if playing a game) and pulls her trousers and knickers down then stares at her privates. He also flicks it but doesn't poke or anything. She said she told him it was rude but he said he doesn't care and would still do it .

Someone else said what i was thinking earlier when i said i didn't know if i should question DD's any more or if a professional should.

I think i have done the wrong thing by telling DS2 as well. I went to get DC from friends house and said i needed to talk to her then started crying and i had to explain a little to DS2 what was wrong. TBH in a way it was good because he showed horror and was very shocked so it showed me that DS1 should feel the same but doesn't seem too. He has been totally normal since i spoke to him. He is at youth club at the moment.

Do i say anything to him when he gets back or wait until i have spoken to NSPCC or someone?

Can't remember who said it but i took DD2 5 mins down the road to meet other DC, Doctors is about a mile away and i don't drive hich is why i said i couldn't take her tonight.

Will go and have another read through now.

Tortoise, you may not have heard the full story from your DD either. That is why you have to get her talking with professionals who know how to ascertain exactly what has been going on. Worst case scenario is that this has been going on for a while. I don't mean to scare you here. But until it can all be studied, you won't know the whole truth here.

Tortoise, you are doing brilliantly. Keep strong, and make that call to the NSPCC as soon as they are asleep. Only make a plan once you've had some professional advice.
You must be feeling awful, I hope you're OK. Remember, this has been found out early on and everything can get better as long as DS1 has a lot of therapy and DD1 and DD2 are treated gently and counselled too.

Take care, let us know if there's anything we can do. :)

Phone the NSPCC now, you don't have to talk for long but they will tell you the next step. You can call back later for a longer talk if you need to but you need to know what to do right now.

sorry, not read the whole thread but can i suggest that perhaps your son may have been the victim of abuse himself? worth investigating, considering he didn't seem to realise this behaviour is wrong...

As well as everything else that has been said you might need some support....don't forget that.

your doing the right thing I would not question any more tonight , maybe keep dd in with you if your worried .But make that call tonight .they can and will help you all .

Dd1 and dd2 will need help as will you and as will ds1 , will need specfic help and please be kind to yourself .you will need support for yourself to in the coming days

I vote not to say anything, and to talk with the NSPCC asap.

He clearly needs professional help, judging by his attitude and the compulsive element (keeping on at it despite your DD telling him to stop and it was rude). I think the nappy element of the incident(s) needs to be examined by a professional too.

tortoise I think you are handeling this remarkably, it does not matter that you have now spoken to other dcs, at least now it is open and no sckelatons for later in life. I had posted and said thought it best not to for your sons sake. It is something that will need to be addressed at some point with proffessionals but at least now you can talk to all your children openly through out the proccess.

I would not do anything further this evening its late every one has had a shock and emotions are high. maybe try and rest for tonight and contact NSPCC openly not anonymously though. If you are worried about contact with gp then dont untill you are adviced to NSPCC will work with you as a family and guide and support you through the proccess.

www.nspcc.org.uk/

0808 800 5000

Tortoise, no real advice other than what has already been said, but just wanted to say, sorry you are going through this.

DD2 has come back downstairs. She says her tummy hurts again! Probably just wants to sleep in mummy's bed again (even though it is only a single mattress on the living room floor lol!). I will phone later if i get a chance or tomorrow.
Then i will act on what they advise.

I am coping but my heart is breaking inside worrying about what is going to happen to my little family. I have none of my family near by to talk to which makes it harder. Parents live in Turkey, Brother in Sweden, sister not far away but doesn't want to know me!

DS1 was physically and emotionally abused by XP2. He has no SN that i know of but he is quite innocent/immature for his age.

gruesome, not much advice to offer but hope all works out for you, you must be devastated.

your family will remain intact with appropriate support and if you work whole heartedly with proffessionals and your DS and DD will get every help and support they both deserve.

i just want to send you a hug.

I have been in the same situation as your daughter when I was a child

What happened katrusin? Did you tell people? It is very brave of you and the others to give your stories. :)

The fact that your daughter told you about this means she puts a lot of trust in you - I could not tell my mother and suffered very much because of it. Your daughter needs your protection and support,please make sure you explain your son that it is not acceptable to do these things to anyone especially his sister. If he confessed it's true it means he trusts you very much aswell and probably ment no harm. And please try to explain your children that now you all have solved this it won't effect your relationship in future in any way. It's great that your daughter opened up to you - it will be much less damaging than if she kept it quiet inside her for years like I did. There's a good chance both your kids will forget this incident as long as you manage to handle it carefully and with as much love and understanding and support you can only give. Good luck to you and your family! I wish I could trust someone the way your kids trust you when I needed it so much

Tortoise your love for your family shines through your posts and I hope you'll have a peaceful night.

Your DS sounds like a boy who really needs help (even without what he has done to the DD) and I hope he'll get it.

so DS1 was physically and emotionally abused by your ex? that's starting to make sense... it's worth investigating whether there was also sexual abuse.

it's a awful thing for you all to be going through but it's better to get it all out in the open so things can be made better. try to be as positive with them both as possible.