DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

Blinks Yes XP2 used to hit DS1 and various other stuff. I really, really don't think there was any sexual abuse though. I never left him with him. He only gets supervised contact with DD1 and DD2 thankfully!

Oh your poor little girl. How brave she is to tell you this. Please contact your gp or nspcc and keep her safe, she is so vulnerable.

This, as you well know is very serious and your ds needs help right away to begin to comprehend how wrong it is to do this to another person.

sexual abuse is generally an abuse of power... if a child has witnessed and been on the receiving end of physical/emotional abuse, they're more likely to re-enact power play, which sounds like what he was doing with your DD.

he is a victim here too and needs proper support and counselling. i hope you all get the help you need.

There's no need to link the abuse in the past to this particular incident. The boy doesn't show violence towards his sister, at least as long as he's aware of. It is absolutely normal to show a sexual interest at his age, he's just being curious. Nevertheless it has to stop. Please make sure your kids are never left unsupervised and it will help your daughter a lot to feel safer.

there is absolutely a need to link past abuse to present behaviour.

katrusinkinzoal- I can only hope that you're a troll.

It is not normal for a 13 yo to sexually abuse a 7yo.

We're not talking here about two 5 yos playing doctor.

Of course abuse is not normal, I just ment that maybe the boy doesn't understand the full impact on his little sister. Anyway he is still a child too and needs help and support aswell

Kat you are so very wrong. sexual abuse is an act of violence against another person. it is not normal for a 13yr old to display sexual curiostiy towards his 6 and 7 year old sisters. It is ver very relevant to link this to his past experience.

kat it is very clear that posts on this thread recognise he needs support also and dealing with it correctly will get him support.

katrusinkinzoal- if a 13 yo boy that was not a part of your family did that to your daughter on her way back from school, say, and did it repeatedly- would you still say the same thing?

Or would you be calling the police?

Of course the violence in the past CAN trigger that kind of behaviour - but What I ment was that any other boy not subject to violence could have found himself in similar situation at 13. We are all women here, and we all judge according to our own experience of growing up and going through puberty... Boys tend to do these things when they are 12-13... they usually forget about it when they're over this stage... But if the boy refuses to stop doing this even when he is told to it MIGHT be alarming...a lot of men have been through similar things but noone talks about it when they are adults

12 - 13 year old Boys do not tend to do this with children of 6 and 7. they may explore with other consenting children of thier own age.

Dear winnybella, you probably didn't pay attention, but I have mentioned above that I MYSELF have been through absolutely similar experience when I was 6 years old ... I know how exactly this little girl feels ! And yet I suggest we don't label a 13 year old boy anything worse than a child in need of guidance... Nothing more...

jesus

Please don't get me wrong but I'm trying to make a point that from my experience this situation does not necessarily have to effect members of this family in the future. The boy who abused me when he was 15 and I was 6 is happily married now with 2 wonderful loving kids and I myself have a family and a child and we both got over this in childhood

I'm with you blinks.

Er...good for you, katrusinkinzoal

It is still not bloody normal for a teenager to sexually abuse a 7yo.

This needs to be dealt with and OP needs proper specialist support.

And obviously DD will need it as well.

As she is the victim here.

but you also suffered because you could not tell your mum. he may be suffering to this day, there may be others suffering because of him also, im sure you just dont know that.

it is imporatnt for op to deal with this kat

The situation is even more complicated here because the perpetrator lives with both of his victims. Anything less than investigating this thoroughly could be disastrous for all of the children concerned. Fortunately, OP is together enough to deal with this appropriately, and will be getting professional help, as she sees hat it is vital.

So sorry this is happening in your family OP.I second what other posters have said about getting professional help as soon as possible - and do tell the professionals that your DS was abused by your XP (if it is not on his medical records already). He has done a bad thing to his sister and her protection is obviously your main priority, but at 13, with a history of being abused, he is still a child in need of proper help. All your DC can be helped to get over this and not repeat bad patterns in adulthood as long as proper help is brought in.

To be honest I can't really tell what impact it would have had on me if more people would have gotten involved. My mother eventually found out and the abuse stopped. An advise of a specialist is deffinately needed but I'm not sure to what extant other people rather than members of the family should get involved in dealing with the girl. The boy should be approuched by a professional- he is old enough to undertand his wrongdoing - all he needs is a person with appropriate authority to explain it to him. But as for the girl - my strong belief is that she should be delt with only by her closest person - her mother only. Unless it already made a serious damage. Anyway, her mother will deffinately be able to spot it and ask for further professional help if needed. But at this stage - I believe the invasion of strangers can ruin the trust and connection between mother and daughter.

with all respect kat i belive your views to be very miss guided here.

Please remember that two little girls have been abused here.
All three children (and probably DS2 too) need their mother's support, she will need support herself. She is a lone mother of four in very difficult circumstances and will need help, as would anyone else. Making her feel bad for accessing support is not helpful at all.

Quite possible that my views are very miss guided because of my personal experience... Just want to wish all the best to this family.my heart goes out to all of you.

Dear loopyloops , I was not suggesting not to seek professional help. Professioanl help is absolutely vital.