DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

sounds like your son needs help with boundaries and appropriate behaviour. ring NSPCC and ask for advice.

also, i think your DD might need to see a GP.

God i am so scared. I don't know how much to ask her. Will have to speak to DD1 later too.
Would she really need to see GP? I don't really know much.

I on't be leaving them alone at any time and DD2 knows to tell me if it happens again. She said she would.

Do you live together with the half brother? Do they have separate rooms? What does his father say?

if he has been touching her but she didn't say how then there may be damage (sorry, i know this is hard but there could be)

did the brother say why he did it?

Yes all 4 DC live with me. Am a single mum. Yes they have separate rooms.
Only just found out so haven't spoken to anyone else yet(DS1's dad would be useless anyway!). Going to talk to a friend in a bit as she is picking my other 2 up from school because DD2 is ill.

Give him a good talking to. Its probably just normal curiosity/urges getting the better of him. Explain to him what it means to be a peadophile (don't make him out to be one - he isn't and won't be). He probably just hasn't thought this behaviour through. And make sure she doesn't lie on his bed! Tell her to scream for you if he tries anything like it again. But don't bring the "experts" in yet for goodness sake. But do give him a good strong warning.

booyhoo I didn't/couldn't ask him. Not sure how much i should ask DD2. or if someone professional should be doing that?

:( how scary for you. Why might your DS have done this? Could he have seen porn online or something?

Not really sure what to advise but I'd definitely talk more to your DD without alarming her.

am not sure i agree with her needing to see a gp!, booyhoo why?

for now, i'd say stern words with him, make it clear to her she's done nothing wrong and was totally right to tell you about this, and keep a close eye on them both, which i'm sure you are doing anyway.

you really need to spend some time with him talking about why it was wrong and about bounadries etc. he really needs to get this message that he cant touch or look at anyone like that. he has to know it isn't acceptable before he tries it in school and ends up in real trouble.

Of course a professional shouldnt be talking to her. You should!

sorry, crossed posts, just seen your post.

as i said lucy, their could be some damage. never mind teh fact that she may be quite traumatised by this! she has been a victim here.

oops, xpost.

I will see if i can get more info later by talking to DD1 and DD2 together. Then DS1 after they are in bed. I am not good at this sort of thing and don't know how to handle it.

Tortoise, calm down for a minute or two. This could be quite serious stuff, you know that, but your DD2 is in no danger right now, even if the situation is in in need of professional help.

Right now, you need to keep it together so that you don't alarm either child, and they clam up.

So have the children both been brought up in the same household for their whole lives? ie. they would consider themselves whole brother and sister?

I think you have done the right thing - your DD2 needs to know that she can say no, and that she can tell you, and that it isn't appropriate.

Your DS needs to know that it is normal to be curious about body parts, but his sister is completely out of bounds. Perhaps get him a book about body parts?

I think the NSPCC would have some really sensible advice for you.

again, i suggest ringing NSPCC and asking them how to best handle it wrt talking to them all.

xpsot lougle

I think I would ring NSPCC and ask their advice on how best to talk to them both about it.

Very sorry for you tortoise

Thanks lougle. Trying to be calm and trying not to cry!
Yes they have always lived in the same household. Well, bar 2 yrs when both DS1 and DS2 had to live with their Dad due to violence towards DS1 by DD1 and DD2's dad. That was about 6 yrs ago though.

Sorry booyhoo, I didn't see your post before I started typing mine.