DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

Looks like i will be on the phone again tomorrow! SW never phoned me back!

I will try and ask about housing. Even if there was a 3 bed with dining room it would be better. DS1 could have the dining room as a bedroom.
No one has spoken to Ds2 and i don't think there are any plans too. {smile]

hope you get to talk to someone today.

Police phoned me today to let me know officially that they are not taking it any further. I told him what XP said about claiming he told Xp that i didn't want him at the interview. He was a bit taken aback and said why would i say that! I knew XP was lying!

Also phoned SW, of course she wasn't in today . Managed to speak to her team leader who said he would try and contact XP and is fine with me having contact with DS1 until he comes home. Now just have to hope they do speak to Xp and i can see DS1 Sunday.

Fingers crossed for you tortoise. Hopefully the end is in sight and you can all be together again.

Keep remembering what a wonderful mum you are and a strong lady to go through all this for your DC.

Hope you have a good weekend

Tortoise - I wish I had spoken to you in this thread earlier but thought anything I said would have been pretty inneffectual.

However, I have so much admiration for the way you have handled a terrible nightmare for any Mother. Also, that having MN in your life is like having a whole support network when things are bleak.

You have done a good thing, the very best you could for all your children and I wish all of you the best of everything from now on.

I hope you have a lovely weekend with your children and that your DS is back in your care very soon.

Aww Thanks.
DS1 will be coming round Sunday . Really hoping we don't get a load of snow before SW has spoken to DD's on Wednesday. I want DS1 home as soon as possible.

aww thats great news. so happy for you

Oh that's great news :-)
Your xp is an idiot isn't he? Hope everything gets back to normal soon.

Good news Tort.

Have been watching/reading but had nothing of any use to add really.

So pleased for you all. :)

Glad to hear no further action by the police and that SW will be arranging some help. And yes, the police must be scratching their heads about your XP and what he said.

Do keep up with the calls to the SW -- if you don't get her specifically, then the team leader might be able to fax you some official note that you could copy and send to your XP about getting the DS back gradually and then full time? (Is there a fax place anywhere near or do you have a fax, or could they scan a document to you?)

For the future, do you have a residency order for DS? Would this be any benefit?

And yes, asking about the possibility of better accommodation might be a really good thing. Even without all of this, the DCs are getting older and bigger all the time.

how are thinks did you have a good weekend and get to see ds?

Yes thanks, we did have a good weekend and enjoyed having DS1 home for the day on Sunday. He should be back home this weekend for good.
SW coming tomorrow. (Meant to be today but something came up, as usual!)

fantastic news.

How did it go with the sw today?
Great that ds1 came home for the day. Were your dd there too?
What's the plan now?

Well, the SW couldn't make it due to overnight snow.She said she lives in a small village and couldn't get the car up the hill. And shock horror, she had to WALK her DC to school!

She will try and come out next week but her team leader is happy for DS1 to still come home Saturday as planned. He is also coming to the primary school fair tomorrow with us.

Fantastic news
Shame about the sw though. At least when she does come, she can see how u have settled back into things.
What has your xp said about him coming back home? Is he happy for everything to get back to normal also?

I've read the entire thread all through now, and wanted to offer all my support as well Hoping things start to get better now. I've pm'ed a bit more

Hi Tortoise, I ducked out for a while there and so much has happened in a short space of time - I am so pleased for you all what a fantastic outcome so far (muppet ex notwithstanding!). I hope DS1 has come home to you this weekend. Well done for being so excellent throughout, I salute you and hope I will be half the mum to my DD that you are to your DCs :)

I am so, so happy to have ds1 home (Didn't miss his loud burps and smelly farts!). Xp's Mum tried to stop him coming home because the SW hadn't contacted XP to say he was definitely allowed home! Sounds like she bad mouths me quite a bit! Bitch! Never did like her!

looking forward to a nice little family Christmas now.

Lilka Thank you for PM. I will read and reply in a minute.

Thank you to everyone for your help and support.
I will try and update after SW has been probably next week.

So pleased for you tortoise - is it too early to wish you and your DC a merry christmas.

That's fantastic! I've been watching this thread since the begining and am so delighted you are all back together again. You deserve every bit of that happiness, you have been an amazing mother to all you children. Now sit back and enjoy...

:)

I'm so pleased for you Tortoise.
The way you have handled this is amazing and you deserve to have a wonderful Christmas and New Year together x

Hi tortoise I think you should sit down and TALK to your stepson ( without ) any shouting and try to find out if he has seen this behaviour somewhere else ??.
This is probably very distressing to you and all involved but i'm sorry (JANGLY) but under no circumstances should the word PEADOPHILE be brought up to the stepson. What he is doing is wrong and should be sorted as quickly as possible , BUT he is still only 13 and to even trying to explain what a peadophile is might give him the impression that this is what he is? I would'nt rush into any drastic senario's it could be his hormones which he is at the moment unable to control ( He's still wrong ) but I think a chat with your GP is at the moment the best way to go. But if your GP thinks that this is more than his hormones he is obligated to contact the social services and that is a totally different kettle of fish ok. Do you have family close by and have you mentioned this to any of them ? Maybe if there was someone who your stepson looked upto ie: Grandparent , Uncle or Auntie or as such who could in a tactful way try to find out the situation with him and explain that what he was/is doing is not the right thing to do.
Bringing in Proffesionals is a big step and you might end up having to make choices that you never thought you would have to ok.
I would explore every other avenue before this. And you are spot on LOUGLE some books on puberty and the way his body is changing due to hormones is an excellent idea and this would show him that you are willing to SHOW him the right way to conduct himself.
I do hope you manage to sort this out.

Daddydaycare this thread is 26 pages long which you really should have noticed before posting - everything you have said is pretty much irrelevant, down to the major detail that it is Tortoise's SON not stepson who is involved. She has already made amazing progress in sorting things out.