DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

all you can do then is talk to the police about your concernes with this dragging on a bit longer than it needs to. you must be feeling so frustrated.

tell the police what exps attidute has been and tell them you are worried he is dragging his heels to deliberatly stall things.

This is hell. I just don't know which to do for the best. Going to look pathetic phoning police tomorrow saying 2 adults can't sort this out between them.
Homeboys txt sounds ok. But i have already asked him to tell me a time that is ok with him.

You're not going to look stupid if you tell the police the XP is dragging his heels here. They know the DS is not staying with you right now. You could mention XP's sudden unchangeable dentist appointment and his attempt to fob everyone off with the excuse of the school trip.

They know you are trying -- it seems clear you've been making all the running here, and they will understand the matter is in XP's hands since DS is staying with him right now, and that they will need to get on his case because they don't want the trail to go cold.

Tortoise - don't worry what it looks like to the police - they are well used to dealing with split families and difficult Ex's.

I would do what MathAnxiety has said. Call in the morning, I am sure someone else there can handle this part for you.

The longer this goes on, the more XP is filling DS's head with crap. It's not good is it.

You can't make him bring him, but the police can... & will. Make sure you tell them about the school trip (what it is etc and it's easy to miss) or else the police might think it's worth him going.

they wont think you look silly just conserned mother wanting to get things resolved for her sons sake.

you need some resolution and clear answers on where ds has to be staying. That way you will feel like you have some control and input over this situation.

I will ring tomorrow then. I know the man dealing with it will be in at 12. If i was allowed to take Ds1 i would be phoning school and picking him up and taking him in myself! Will also text Ds1 in the morning to find out when in the day he is going on the 'trip'!

Good luck x I'll be thinking of you.

Oh, what a knobber your ex is.

I agree, call tomorrow, explain the situation and see if they can iron it out.

Could a school teacher accompany you both in the absence of his dad, or a friend of yours that he knows perhaps? XP is holding you to ransom really, it might help if he actually doesn't have to be there. Ask the police if they have any other options they can think of.

I also agree that you need to get SS to tell you whether DS can come home. I assume that will be determined after the interview, which may be why XP (and his mother) are stalling.

I hope you're OK, the kids too. What a bloody nightmare. I hope it does happen tomorrow, so it can all get sorted out as soon as possible.

Take care. :)

Tortoise, hadn't seen this thread till now but just wanted to say how brilliant you are and it is so clear how much you love all your children.

Only about 20 mins to wait until i can phone! Time is dragging along so slowly!
I don't know of anyone who could come with me and DS1 and i don't think XP will agree to that!

They have XPs mobile number. I know he is off work all day today so he can't escape speaking to anyone!

Poor DS2 and DDs don't know if i am picking them up from school today or if my friend is. If XP had just let me know yesterday i could have made sure everything was sorted.

you are doing great just let the day end without some final arrangements for the interview other wise get ss record all your conserns regarding exp and his difficulty commiting to a time scale.

let us know what they say.

Ok, i have to catch a train in later. Police are going to assume that DS1 will be brought in by XP at 5pm as previous arrangement. Then i will be given a lift home. I am not allowed in the interview but XP is! Not happy about that but that is what has to happen.
i am going to get soaked walking to the police station if this rain carries on! Stupid weather!

well done you im so happy for you. I can understand why you cant go in but hey, thats fine at least it is happening today. where they understanding?

have the police confirmed this with exp?

He seemed fine about it. No not confirmed with XP that i know if so i hope he turns up!

Keeping my fingers crossed. :)

best of luck

Not too long now. I take it you have spoken to the policeman involved and told him that you are worried your Ex or his mother may have told DS what to or what not to say?

Not long now...

I hope they will let DS go home soon - but I guess it wont be until they have ascertained whether your DD's are 'at risk' or not :)

Keeping my fingers crossed it goes well - and it's stopped raining for you!!

Homeboy's advice is really good here.

Glad there will be someone in the room with DS besides the police/ investigator -- I was wondering if he would get to have an 'advocate' of any kind. I'm guessing they will be on the lookout for any coaching by XP here or 'looks' exchanged between DS and XP during the interview.

chippingin No I don't think i have said anything about that although i have said i don't trust xps mum not to say things to DS1.

They could have got a SW in to be with DS1 if they were concerned about XP but they aren't. In a way it would be better to have an outsider there as it is embarrassing speaking in front of a parent plus now XP will hear more about what DD's said happened.

Just over half an hour before i leave. i am so so nervous. Still raining a bit but not as hard as earlier. Only clean trousers i have are my long super flare jeans which touch the floor and soak up all the water! Oh well! Need to find a better top to wear too. Have a scruffy hoodie on at the moment!