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Original poster

RSVP's and kids' birthday parties... GRRR

10 replies

Mandy03 · 14/07/2005 07:24

Could someone tell me whether it's normal for people to RSVP at the last minute to kids' parties (or not at all ), even though they've had the invitation for a month?!

I gave out invitations to ds' party (5 yrs old) nearly four weeks ago, and the RSVP date is only three days away. I know they've still got a few days, but I'm wanting to know if this is the norm. So far, four mothers have responded and nine have not!! Is this what people usually do? If I don't hear from some of the mothers by the RSVP date, should I chase them up? I've just got a feeling that there are some people who won't respond, and going by my friends' experiences, there will even be the ones who just don't turn up. I don't want to get ahead of myself here but I'm paying a certain amount of money for each child to attend the party, and I really need to know who's coming & who's not.

I know we're all busy, and this is not a priority to other people because it's not their child, but hey, how hard is it to write on a calendar or put things on a noticeboard. I always make sure I respond to invitations and it really peeves me that some people don't respond or even worse, don't turn up. As I said, I might be getting concerned too soon but I think it's because I've heard so many 'party horror stories' from other people.

OP posts:
pindy · 14/07/2005 07:29

Hi - get ds to ask his friends and then you can say to the mums - ds said xxx is/is not coming to ds's party - is that right?

Good luck, unfortunately some mums do leave replying late, especially if it is in holiday time.

Have a super party!

tatt · 14/07/2005 07:54

not unusual unfortunately. I've had kids turn up when I've not been told they were coming and one mum was upset because their child didn't have a proper party bag, just a carrier with a few sweets. She was very loudly told that it was because I hadn't been told her child would be there and I'd had to put in what I could get from the machine nearby. Wouldn't have done it for a young sensitive child but I'd had enough of that particular family.

If I was paying per head I would always phone the parents to check if they hadn't replied.

WideWebWitch · 14/07/2005 08:09

I doubt any of them are deliberately being rude or trying to annoy you, but some may not have got the invitations (v likely wtih 5yos ime), some may just not have got around to calling you, and I doubt many have noticed there's an rsvp date! Can you ring round and ask? And I do think it's rude to say you're going and then not turn up but I gather some people do it, although it hasn't happened to me. If you're paying per head, I'd mention that when you call and just say you'd appreciate their letting you know if something changes and they can't make it.

WestCountryLass · 14/07/2005 21:55

Grrr, this is one of my bugbears Most Mums have planned parties and know you need to know numbers to pay for the party and sort out the catering, why some can't pick up a phone is beyond me????

Part of me wishes I assummed they weren't turning up so did not provide food/party bags for those kids and would tell them why if they did come but the other part of me gets some satisfaction out of making them squirm when you call to chase their reply

I assume that the Mums who reply alte are waiting for a better offer which winds me up even more!

JulieF · 15/07/2005 00:49

I usually have so much else on that I forget to do things like replying to invitations, posting letters and other day to day stuff.

I'm just very disorganised, not deliberately rude.

Milliways · 15/07/2005 07:53

At our school they have Letter day (Thursday) - letters only home that day so search your childs bag! So invites are best handed out that day as well!

We have one child who NEVER replies, arrives late & gets collected by his sister a good half hour after everyone else has gone. Not HIS fault, and he is well liked, but his siblings do all the running around for him, never his parents (who ARE fit & well BTW) Grrrrr

basketcase · 15/07/2005 08:02

Totally know where you are coming from - loads fo late replies experiences. I also had several no replies to a birthday party for DD1 a while ago. They saw me almost daily and I handed out the invites to the parents not the children about 3 weeks in advance. Didn?t know whether to cater for them/do party bags etc. or anything and refused to ask them being a stubborn sort. One turned up, brought along by another parent, no card or gift, not even really dressed for a party and mum never ever mentioned it to me at a later date. (She is a SAHM, lives only round the corner and is loaded so no issues to stop her telling me, bringing her, getting in to the party mood. She was so embarrassed at not having a parcel to hand over, poor girl

Original poster
Mandy03 · 15/07/2005 08:59

How hard can it be??!! It just infuriates me. Still no word from any of these mothers who haven't responded... I'm definitely going to chase them up about it though, even just to get the point across that I think it is very inconsiderate not to reply. It would be SOOOOO different if it was their child's party, wouldn't it

All this time I've been so careful to respond to party invitations within a reasonable time, just to find that hardly anybody pays you the same courtesy. Doesn't exactly make me want to do this again next year

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jenkel · 15/07/2005 09:18

This also makes me so mad, not really for my dd's birthday as I know all the mums really well, normally hand the invitation to the mums and they tell me there and then if they can make it or not. But generally, I find people dont reply to RSVP. My dd was recently christened, I got some really nice inviatations done and had hardly any RSVP even though everybody invited turned up. Its my Mums 60th in August and we are having a really big party, 70 people invited, cut off point for RSVP next week and we have only had a handful.

I personally think it is vert rude, if somebody has take the time to invite you to a party the least somebody can do is to reply properly. And it is a nightmare as you dont know who you are catering for.

Original poster
Mandy03 · 15/07/2005 10:50

That's awful jenkel. I really don't get it... how do people think that someone can cater for a party properly if the guests don't bother to respond. And then turn up anyway!!!! It's just beyond me - maybe some people just weren't taught to reply to invitations when they were growing up. It's amazingly inconsiderate.

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