Upset by silly, racist teenager

[hester]

Just want to let off steam, really. We're buying a house, and I'm really, really excited about it. Went round today to do some measuring up and went into the teenager's bedroom. It's an absolute adolescent filthpit, with graffiti all over the walls. For the first time, I read some of that graffiti - and it was really nasty racist abuse, along with very sexually explicit stuff.

My dp is black, and that is going to be our dd's bedroom.

I feel like our lovely new home is defiled, that it isn't a safe place for us to be anymore (I know that's silly). I feel furious with the parents, who have been very friendly to us, given us cups of tea etc, but must know that filth was waiting for us upstairs (it's not hard to spot). And I really don't want my dp to see it, but don't know if I'll be able to get it removed before she does.

I just feel so upset.

I can't believe someone who is selling their house allows a room to be like this. Did it not put you off the first time? I'd speak to the estate agent and ask them to ask the vendor to sort it out.

If you're really unhappy is it too late to pull out?

I didn't see it first time, MJM. tbh, the room's so messy it's hard to walk in there! And though I clocked all the graffiti, I didn't bother reading it.

Yes, I'm also surprised the vendors didn't think this might be a little, um, offputting for potential buyers. 'I suck c**k' in purple marker is not exactly kerbside appeal, is it? Maybe I should request that they remove all offensive graffiti before the move, though I'm a little nervous of engaging with it all and getting them uptight/protective of their dd. You know, in case they whitewash but stick prawns behind the radiator on moving day or something.

It's not too late to pull out but it's way too late to pull out comfortably, and without considerable cost. Oh, I don't know what to do.

Reclaim the room, turn it lovely and exorcise the evil. Be grateful that they are moving away from you and taking their repulsive child with them.
Ask for a reduction because of the need to redecorate...by profesionals.
Don't let shitheads make you feel worried or upset, not worth the spit.

Speak to the estate agent - tell them you will require professional decorators before you can move in as it wasn't there before you offered on the place (they can't prove it either way without looking bad).

I am so sorry to hear that. How vile of them (the parents must have had some idea...).

If you are in, but not in too late, I suggest perhaps letting the estate agent know in the subtlest possible way, just what you have said in your post. (a few tears would not go amiss) Then (s)he can call and say that you had been really shaken up by the incident. Let him/her suggest that it might put the deal in jeopardy, rather than you laying it on the table.
See what happens. At very least expect whitewashed walls before you move in. Homes are made by the people who live in them; not their previous occupants. If it helps, play with the room arrangement (i.e. put shelves or cupboards where the graffiti was so that it simply cannot remind you of how it used to look.

Thanks, goblinchild, you've made me laugh. To think I was feeling really sorry for the teenager because her parents are splitting up and she's having to move away, and I thought how difficult it must be for her to have my dd bouncing all over her room.

Which makes me wonder if it is a specific message to us (she was VERY surly when we met)... but I'll try not to get paranoid. She may just be a stupid, angry teenager. It may have been one of her friends (though still no excuse for not removing it).

Anyway, you're right; I'm going to sleep on it. I got on pretty well with the mum who invited me to ring anytime to ask any further questions. I may start a chat with her on something else, and it feels right ask her if she can get it removed before we move.

Then I'll get in there, repaint (which is vital anyway; the place is all purple and orange), and reclaim the territory for the forces of honour and justice

LilRedWG, sausage, great idea to talk to the estate agent. I actually don't want to make a big thing of it because I don't want dp to find out, but maybe the estate agent (who I really like) will find the best way of handling it.

Christ, I thought I was a wild teenager, but my mum would have skinned me alive if I'd graffitied that crap on the walls.

From what you've sadi, about her parents splitting, it may well be an angry, upset teenager channelling her anger inappropriately. Its no excuse, but at least you can put in the box marked "teenage angst" and not worry about it too much (i hope). Best of luck. :-)

Yes, sausage, that's why I'm calling her silly, rather than evil.

Thank you, everyone, I feel better for a good vent and reading your wise words.

I feel focus on the healing power of white paint...