My friend's dad has just died - would like to get her something but don't know what

[Enid]

She is such a lovely person. I know I could get her a bunch of flowers but I wondered if anyone had any ideas of books or similar that would make a thoughtful gift. (I know not very thoughtful as I won't have actually thought of it but you know what I mean).

Ta.

give her a hug thats what she will need the most of .ooh a box to put something of her dads in .i lost my dad a year ago on fathers day and i have his glasses and tobbaco tin ,if she has kept something of her dads she could keep it in the box.

I've had this, If the spirit moves you, by Justine Picardie recommended to me but I haven't read it. There's a quote on the front from Nigella Lawson saying something like 'if you've experienced the rage and pain of bereavement...this is your book' BUT I could probably only read it now, I certainly couldn't have done just after my dad died. So maybe leave a book - you can't know whether she'll be one of those people who wants to read everything she can get her hands on or someone like me who prefered to bury my head in the sand and not read anything about bereavment until the pain subsided a bit. I'd have welcomed a hug and a bottle of wine myself but I can hardly hold myself up as someone who dealt with bereavement well. Poor her, it's awful I know. Just being there will help and offering to listen if she wants to talk. Or to have her children (if she's got them) if she needs a good cry alone.

very good advice about the book www.

aaa I love the box idea but have decided to leave a gift for now.

I am having her and her dh round for dinner on Friday night (with lots of wine) and will get her some flowers for now.

x E

totally agree with www - a hug and a bottle of wine were the things that really helped me, and someone who let me feel sad, but would also talk about something else as well.

Enid, that kind of you. When my dad died I got some very nice sympathy cards, but really what you're friend would need most is a sympathetic ear. I found being able to talk to friends very important. The idea for a plant or shrub is nice, but maybe at a later date.