Adults with Aspergers...can I talk to you please?

[FlightHattendant]

It's only me

I've been wondering a bit about this, since my foray into the world of AQ a few months back.

Everyone I've spoken to seems to dismiss it.

First the GP - despite my taking that laminated sheet with me about recognising AS in an adult - he just said 'this is a child's disease, you don't have it' and reluctantly agreed to write to Mental Health services to find out about referring me for assessment but nothing happened of course.

Second - several people I've mentioned it to said 'Oh, you don't have Aspergers!' Me: 'coping strategies, bla bla, often overlooked, bla bla, history of problems, bla...'
'Oh, well, if you do have it, it's obviously a MILD FORM, you seem perfectly normal to me'

then

'Oh don't worry I know loads of people with MH issues, everyone is different and wonderful, you don't need a label' from others.

Not sure how to take it really. I'm still trying to find out how to get assessed, and yes, I do want that label, because I feel like enough of a freak already and if people knew WHY perhaps they would judge me less.

I want a decent reason that makes sense, and this Dx would fit so well with nearly everything that's ever happened in my life, personal relationships, school etc.

Any thoughts appreciated, thankyou.

Btw is the AQ that reliable? With a score of 47 I'd really like to know!

have you tried to chase up that referral? Given GP has been so unhelpful, you may need to work backwards - do some googling/phoning to find out who you would need to be referred to then try and find a more sympathetic GP to explain it all too.

Be aware though that a DX may help make sense of things to you - but there's no guarantee it will make other people more understanding.

I recall from her postings that Amber thought the AQ was a decent enough questionnaire - not to diagnose but to flag up where someone should look further into a diagnosis.

Thankyou TC, I looked up assessment centres and it came up with something near London - a long trek for me with the kids, but could maybe get them minded for the day.

I'm not sure how to self refer though. I heard someone say she got a free assessment by proving it was affecting her life a lot, but not sure exactly who she went through.

I know, people might still think I'm weird but at least I will know why, even if it makes no difference to them.

I tried telling one of my old teachers about it the other week, thinking it'd clear up my odd behaviour at school, but she just said don't dwell on the past.

Maybe nobody else cares, but it does matter to me iyswim.

Sorry if this sounds dismissive as well...

I am undiagnosed, but it doesn't bother me. (My brothers are diagnosed). How do you think it would help you, to formally be diagnosed? If you want to tell someone you have Aspergers, just tell them you have Aspergers - you don't need a doctor to prove it if it is a fact. The primary reason for diagnosing children is to get them the help they need. My 3yo DS will be going through that process soon and this is to ensure that he receives any additional help he needs.

What help will be available to you if you do actually get diagnosed? I believe the answer is none.

Furthermore, you don't need to excuse your behaviour to people. If the people that love you are fine, I wouldn't care about what anyone else thinks.

Thanks Crokky. Perhaps if I were in a similar situation, ie with dx for family members making it something 'talked about' and accepted and almost maybe assumed that I would have it, I might feel it were less of a priority.
But given that nobody has considered it in my situation and the people I love are not fine, I do feel it is relevant iyswim.

I know there's no help available, but that's not really the issue for me - it's too late for all that. Understanding the damage/lack of support when I was a child might be useful too.