What do you do with regard to a friend who is a bad influence (boys aged 5) at school

[needmumsnettersadvice]

Need some much needed advice.

With regard to my ds best friend at school, my ds is one of the brightest in the school, but feel he is being dragged down by his b/friend, this boy goes around hurting other people, it is a shame as his parents have split up and think they have a aggressive relationship. I dont want him playing with ds, as he comes out with horrible things to ds, like "your nothing", your stupid and worthless etc etc, he also says things like "look at that dog poo, lets eat it" etc etc etc.

I know its not the boys fault that his parents are like that, but I dont want DS picking up bad habits.

Change name as think mum is a mumsnetter

anyone

A friend of mine had this with her ds aged 6 and she went to talk to the teacher who was really helpful. She said she felt that the social side of his school life was affecting his behaviour at home and the teacher knew exactly who she was talking about and has made a big effort to deal with it. I think the main thing they can do is impress upon the children that you have to be sensible and do what's right etc and not just follow someone else because you are scared of them not liking you.
Does this sound like an option for you?

Agree with bellababe, go talk to the teacher. I dealt with a similar situation between 2 boys in one of my classes.

We had this recently, teachers told them to separate. I explained to ds1 that his bf was going to be very hurt and maybe angry for a while, but massivley underestimated it! ds1 now sad.

I am sad too, as I never wanted them separated- we taught ds1 to say' I love you very much 9his words) but i can't play with you until you are good again'. But school had already separated them.

Esp. worried as ds1 was bf's only friend, and bf is only kid in year group from a different culture, so i think discrimination going on. very, very sad indeed. Tried to talk to bf's parents, but they don't speak English. situation all round.

Gosh, this sounds like it was handled really badly. Apart from anything, how do you actually keep children apart, without being really quite harsh on them eg watching them at play and so on? I don't know - it depends so much on the area, the school, the other pupils, etc - but maybe going to the head for advice is a better way forward. Ask him/her to suggest how they think it could be dealt with.
The other thing that might be possible is for you to find out which other boys he likes (ie doesn't actively dislike) and work on those relationships a bit outwith school.