I am of course BU so this is not in AIBU, but my sister has left leaving my confidence in the cellar and I now need to pull myself together to brave another visit in a few weeks and then they all want to come in March with my Mum. I need hard drugs.

[TWINSETinapeartree]

I of course want to see her and have told her as such but God it is shit having perfect siblings and a parent only to happy to point out al your failings.

It is even worse as now we are living somewhere new I have to deal with the whole surprised exclamations of "are they your sisters?"

In the past it was easier as at least I was seenas the daughter who had escaped poverty and achieved stability, now we dont even have that.

I know I am rambling and being highly unreasonable but as soon as I saw my sister off and realised another one was on the way I was planning my next expedition into starvation and complete life rehaul.

Am I the only mad jealous old bint who feels like this? The worst thing is that not only do I get depressed about the fact that I am the far ugly failure of the family it pisses me of that I am the green eyed monster of the family as well, jealousy is so unnatractive.

Twinset you have such impossible expectations of yourself, you are fab, you have a great job, you work hard, you have a lovely daughter, but you are not and will never be perfect. You can not always be all things to all people and you need to give yourself a break. When I get stressed dh reminds me I don't have an off switch, I am allowed to fail sometimes.

lol 5gomad is that your way of making me thin, that is exactly how I mantain my fine form.

Walking I do know all of that and I wish I could stop it but i can't and years of therapy haven't helped. I am one of the most competitive people you will ever meet, I could probably make Xenia look laid back. In some ways it works for me , I tend to be very successful at work and did well at school , uni etc but it is a bugger for me personally.

no one can make xenia look laid back!

I do just in a poor way

lol.

Twinny i admit i dont know you but ive seen a lovely pic of you and your dd ive read lots of your stuff on mn and i think you are lovely.

You have cast yourslf in this role in this pantomime we call life .

stop selling yourself short.

P.S I still dont want any of your turkey supreme

Twinset, I would love to try your turkey salmonella supreme, but I've just had a huge portion of lasagne.

I hope you have not left that mince lying around.

twinny your sister is not more beautiful than you, in fact I think you look very very similar! but then you know I think your nuts putting yourself down!

no- it was all disposed of properly. In my digestive system.

What about the milk for the sauce different ID I hope that was not left out of the fridge too long.