Photo's of ex keep or bin

[happydays]

My friends dp has found a photo that she had kept of her ex-boyfried. My friend is no longer in love with this guy, just liked to keep it, as it was part of her past.

Didn't know what advice to give her really as I do not have any photo's of any ex's and would be hurt if I found one of DH ex's.

Did you keep or throw yours?

was your friend's dp angry?

If so it would be unreasonable. I keep all photos and all letters anyone has ever sent me. Like you say, they're part of your past and it's nice to look at some of them occasionally to see how you've changed.

If they were rude photos on the other hand....

Kept the ones of the exes I still like. Binned the big mistakes. I wouldn't expect dp to throw out his big bag of letters from his childhood sweetheart so if he asked me to bin my photos I wouldn't. It was a good time in my life. It's nice to remember it sometimes. If the relationship between the partners is sound there shouldn't be a problem?

yes he was very angry, kept going on about how she must still love him.

I totally love and trust my husband, he doesn't have any pic's of ex, (not because I asked him to bin them), but I remember when I moved into his house getting upset by finding a picture in the drawer of them with there arms round each other. I know he has been in a previous relationship, I just do not like to see it. Is there something wrong with that/me?

I think it's normal to get a little jolt if you found a photo like that but I keep everything and would be horrified if I was asked to bin them. I never look at them but don't see why I should get rid of them when I keep everything else. And I woudld't expect a partner to get rid of them either, just don't gaze at them in front of me.

Is your friend's partner generally a jealous type?

I do not have any photo's on ex's, for no other reason than I didn't want them anymore. I do not think that there is any harm keeping them, because it is nice for somepeople to remember.

Saying that when I came across a portrait of DH and his ex-wife on their wedding day, I took to it with a screw-driver, saying that I was 5 months pregnant and raging hormones. It was under the spare bed and DH didn't know it was therem luckily he saw the funny side and threw it out. Do not know what came over me.

I have some photos of me with exes - as everyone else says, they are part of my past, part of the reason we take photographs at all. I regard them in the same way as I regard pix of me with female friends. I don't regret my exes and they have nothing at all to do with my relationship. My dh has some old photos of his college days with girlfriends in, they don't bother me in the slightest. Also there are pix of his ex partner in our photo albums, even though we both loathe and despise her because it is nice for his daughter to see them in the albums of her childhood here. And if she hadn't tried so hard to ruin our lives then I would be OK with pix of her as well.

I agree that it is part of your past & you shouldn't be expected to throw them out all together - I still have the wedding photos from my first marriage, I very rarely look at them but it would feel wrong somehow to chuck the lot out, not just because ex-DH is in the photos, but also family members who are now longer around who were part of that day......... which was important at the time. I certainly wouldn't put such pictures 'on display' but accept, & would hope DH accepts, that it is part of my history.

One of my ex's who I was with for a very long time, has died and I would of liked to have kept a photo of him, because he was a bit part of my past.

happydays,
I agree with you, photos of exes should definitely be binned. It's best not to get into situations which are open to misunderstanding, especially for the sake of something so trivial.

I didn't really have any ex's (a couple of short term rlationships only) before dh, but my parents divorced when I was 12. My Dad kept family photos, even his wedding photo, and when I left home he gave them to me - I'm glad to have them as it is part of my life too.
If there are children involved then you have to be more mature about it than if there are not. But people should be secure enouh in their relationships to be aware of the past. Dh is a diarist (always has been) and has let me read them all from when he was a teenager, he wanted me to, said I would understand him better. There are bits about other girls in there, but why should I worry, it was long ago and far away and now he is mine and always will be.