What would you say to your mother if she insisted on coming to work with you????

[MrsStig]

Imagine if you ran your own Estate/Lettings Agency and mentioned to your mother you were short staffed. She then (very kindly) insits you train her to work in the office.....what would you say......honestly.

Bearing in mind she's 72 and a little um....eccentric arty and has no office/sales experience.

Can you not find a little photocopying to keep her quiet? Does she make a good coffee?

I'd find her something to do.

yeah, i thinki i would try and find her something to do too. maybe a lot of IT courses to keep her away occupied

Oh, and DH and I work together. Having my mother there is not an option. Really.

My first response ion reading the thread title, waould be to say "FGS mum, I'm 40 years old", but having read your OP......

I would try and be diplomatic but if that didn't work I'g let her come in for a trial day to see how she gets on, so she isn;t feeling rejected.

can you get her photocopying or filing (...scratch that one) or could she answer the phones?

you never know, she might actually be really good, and having someone "arty" will give you an edge over your competitors as she will get your firm remembered. Hopefully for all the right reasons

say that Dh has just offered the job to some lovely young girl who has some sob story that your mum couldn't help but love.

The thing is, she wants to answer the phones...and of course people aren't always lovely and polite if their boiler has broken down, and we can't get a boiler man out to them this second, or if a buyer puts in a really low offer on a house...vendors have been known to swear at us. .My mother doesn't know rude people exist, and I don't want her to learn at 72!

Ah, I lookbetterwithdrink..... great idea...you've met my mother then.

Mother, meet the kettle

Are you SURE she's really managed to live 72 years on this earth without realising people are sometimes a little rude?!

Personally I'd try the firm but kind 'thanks very much Mum but really, I was only letting off steam' approach.

Mind you, I do work with my Mum sometimes, we are in the same field. Couldn't do it all the time though!

I would think that, at 72, she knows full well that rude people exist.

Sounds as if she's either bored or lonely, and is looking for something to fill her time.

What about having her in to help for one day a week? Gives you a hand, gets her out of the house. See how it goes - it might be just what you both need.

I would find her a job.. if she can't hack it she will leave and if she can you will have a help with your staffing problem.

I really cannot work (or spend more time than I really have to) with her.....she drives me insane.

Yes.....she is lonely..., but when I ask her to have one of the DC's she always makes out she has a pottery class or something, and can only just fit them in.

And that last post makes me think that she's lonely and bored, but doesn't want you to know that she's lonely and bored.

Can you help her find some other things to do to keep her occupied and out of your hair, if you really can't face her in the office with you? Adult education, keep-fit classes, book groups?

She sounds like she wants to be of use, but in a way that suits her. (And, possibly, that she misses you - sorry! Just because that may be the case doesn't mean you have to spend time with her though!) Volunteer work?

I think she desperately needs to feel needed, but does not want you to know that (hence the pottery class excuse)

If you are short-staffed, then you would be mad not to take her into the office. Surely she can be put to good use filing, photocopying, making tea/coffee etc. Make it a one day a week arrangement.

And so what if dh is there, I am assuming you both remain fully clothed at all times?
If it is only for 1 day he can put up with it surely?

What about her doing some voluntary work in a charity shop? She probably feels that she wants to be useful.....

Slightly different but my Dad was staying with us when I had my 2nd interview for a job I really wanted (after 3.5 years of SAHM). He came into London with me, got off the tube with me (20 mins to go) and said "What are we doing now?" I said "I am going to Starbucks to compose my thoughts." He said, "I don't like Starbucks" I said, "That's fine I think it is time you went off for a walk. I will call after I have had the interview. Good bye." I think he'd have come in with me...and I am 37.

I think I would diplomatically say that the situation had resolved itself; thank her profusely for her very kind offer and say you'll be sure to remember the offer if the situation arises again.

This thread has been really helpfull

It's made me realise she needs to feel needed, rather than needing something to do, like yet another art class.

She does do some voluntary work, but has given most of it up; I presumed because it was getting to much for her.

What I really need her to do is have the DC's over half term, but sadly she can only cope with one at a time.

The answer to her comming into the office is going to be a firm no, as DH and I generally have to grit our teeth when we are with her as we both find her quite, erm...difficult.

I was starting to fear this was the most extreme case of "helicopter parenting" ever.

I shall talk to my sisters about what we can do do make her feel needed elsewhere.