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Original poster

what will happen when i see doctor about unwanted pg?

20 replies

FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 00:49

v. early, only a few days late but several positive tests.
I want to deal with this as soon as possible as it will get harder if i think about it too much.
i understand it can be done with just medication at this stage, is that right?
do i have to see my gp or can i go elsewhere (more anonymous?)
any info about what happens, the procedure and the physical aspects gratefully recieved.
in a bit of a mess.

OP posts:
Original poster
FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 01:08

meant to add - so sorry if this is insensitive.

OP posts:
BBBee · 14/09/2008 01:14

This is what happened when I went with my sister.

She told the doctor she was pregnant and didn;t want the baby. She told him about her children and the contraception failure.

He asked what she wanted to do, if she was sure, explained things.

He asked about period dates etc and talked through options.

He gave her a refferal letter to a local NHS clinic and a signed letter saying he had seen her and approved a termination.

I went to the next appointment too if you want more info.

I hope you are okay - a dificult situation for you and it iwas hard seeing my sis go through this,

gigglewitch · 14/09/2008 01:15

this any help?
don't worry about 'insensitive', you're not here to start a debate or anything, in a genuine fix. do what is best for you and family, it is all sounding difficult enough.
have you told anyone?

Original poster
FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 01:18

thank you.
Did your sister recieve the medication at the clinic? was it a quick process from seeing gp to the end? and did she have to have a physical exam?

OP posts:
BBBee · 14/09/2008 01:20

she had no medical exam or medication at the first appointment - it was all talking (with a very good GP)

are you okay? ask me what you like as i was with her form beginning to end.

Original poster
FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 01:20

thanks gw. i have told my ex, no one else.

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madchick · 14/09/2008 01:23

I had a termination a couple of years ago
Went to the doctors, explained the situation. Had to go and think about it. Made second appointment, he referred me to the hospital to see someone else.
Had a scan to see how far along. Asked the same questions again.
Put on the list for a termination.
Waited a couple of weeks for the procedure.
I decided to go under general anesthetic as I didn't really want to be aware of what was going on.
NHS made me wait around half the day, and kept asking if I was sure that's what I wanted.
Got knocked out.
When I woke up it was done.
My friend had the other termination where you're awake, and it has really traumatised her. She still can't talk about it 5 years on.
I suggest you think about it very carefully, however much you don't want to, because I'm sure I'm not the only one that looks back on it as a mistake.
I don't know if you can do it more anonymously. If you don't want to go to your gp, perhaps a family planning clinic? You definately need a doctors referal for the NHS though.

Original poster
FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 01:23

bbbee - really appreciate that. i am feeling a bit weepy now and cant think straight, i will come back tomorrow as i do have questions, if you're around could you just check here for me?
Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 01:25

oh god madchick - that seems much harder than i thought so early on.

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combustiblemelon · 14/09/2008 01:30

Marie Stopes site has a lot of info. Hope it helps.

madchick · 14/09/2008 01:38

Yeah, they don't make it easy for you.
I've got a child now, single parenting, and it's bloody hard work, but I wouldn't give her up for the world.
I'm not trying to convince you to keep it, because I believe that a termination is the best option for some people, but having a child doesn't mean the end of your life either.
Please just think about it a lot because you might never forgive yourself.

strummer · 14/09/2008 01:49

Go to the family planning clinic and you will get a referal letter to a marie stopes clinic, the referal letter means that it will be free.

combustiblemelon · 14/09/2008 01:56

OK, haven't posted this before under my own name but I had an abortion several years ago. I had the early tablet no general anaesthetic version. It was a hard decision, but the right one for me. I had some pain and was given painkillers. It was obviously not a pleasant experience, but I don't regret it.

The non surgical option is only available early in the pregnancy. After that it's the operation they knock you out for.

You're the only one who can make the decision. If you decide you want the procedure and you want to pay for it yourself, you may be able to bypass your GP and approach a clinic directly. If you want the cost to be covered by the NHS, you need to see your GP, who may refer you to a clinic or to an NHS hospital. You may be able to state a preference for being refered to a clinic.

Original poster
FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 13:06

Thank you all. and CL, i really appreciate you sharing your experience.
ive looked at the links and have it all clearer in my mind now.
I have not reached a definite decision but in all honesty i dont think i can carry on with the pg.
Thanks again.

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3kids1cat · 14/09/2008 13:22

If you ring BPAS (look online or in yellow pages for their number) you can go straight to one of their clinics without having to see your gp and it can still be paid for by the NHS.
It's a horrible situation, but if you know it's the right desicion you will deal with it better. The people at the clinic I went to were understanding, and can provide councelling if you want to.

magnolia74 · 14/09/2008 13:34

I went via my local family planning clinic and it is not on my medical records as I didn't want my Gp to know.
I was given a form that was signed by the locum Gp attacthed to the clinic after having a long and frank discussion with the nurse.
I phoned BPAS and they manage to fit me in for a consultation and termination on the same day although only some clinics offer this.

It was the most agonising decision I have ever made and If I am really honest I am not sure it was 100% the right decision but I am 99% sure. I already have 5 children but financially and mentally could not have another

It was nearly 6 months ago and it still hurts but it was for the best.

Thinking of you and you are welcome to email me if you need to chat (meprior at aol dot com)

magnolia74 · 14/09/2008 13:36

Sorry I meant to add that I opted for the surgical termination and was 6 weeks pg. Some clinics wont do surgical intil after 7 weeks but I asked and they agreed. It was quick relatively painless and I was unaware which was important for me.

Original poster
FleurDeLeeds · 14/09/2008 21:07

mag and 3kids, very helpful info re BPAS, hadn't thought of them. Thanks.
Really hits me reading this just how crappy this situation is for those of us in this position.
Its never a fully happy ending is it?
Best you can hope is that you make the right choice at the right time.

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Janos · 14/09/2008 21:19

FleurDeLeeds.

Family Planning is good place to start if you have one near you. IME they are very helpful and non judgemental.

HTH.

magnolia74 · 14/09/2008 22:00

I agree re family planning very non judgemental and can refer you the same as gp xx

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