Do people care if you stop drinking alcohol as you get older?

[jayshahid]

I used to drink quite a lot when I was younger, but now that I'm in my early 30s, I'm trying to take better care of my health and lifestyle. I've stopped drinking alcohol, including wine and whiskey.

Drinking is a big part of the culture where I live, and social events, weddings and nights out often revolve around alcohol.

Some of my close friends are supportive, but others question why I don't drink anymore. I still go out and have non-alcoholic drinks, but I sometimes wonder if this will affect my friendships in the long run.

For those who stopped drinking, did your friends accept it as you got older, or did you lose friends because of it? Do people eventually stop caring about what you drink, or does it still affect your social life?

I was a party animal in my late teens and early twenties and barely drank at all in my 30s and 40s.

I don’t think anyone around me cared. I didn’t ask because their opinion wouldn’t have mattered. My social life was a lot less because those were my in the trenches parenting years. I still have the same friends.

What I did find was that I lost my tolerance for other people’s drunken shenanigans.

No, I haven’t lost any friends as a result of dramatically cutting down on my drinking.
Like you, I drank a lot when younger, frankly too much too often - it was very common in my line of work.
I mostly drink long drinks now, unfortunately I can’t tolerate spirits any more. I have found that I enjoy alcohol free drinks, though more simple (& cheaper!) ones than a some of the more “sophisticated” products on the market.
Interestingly, many of my friends have slowed down their rate of drinking when on a night out, too.

I was pretty wild in my teens/twenties, and unfortunately I struggled a bit to rein that in as I got older, so stopped altogether 3 years ago, when I was 29. It hasn’t really drawn much attention at all, some people are a bit surprised as I used to be the first at the bar etc but everyone has been generally supportive I would say. Certainly never lost any friends. But then, I’m not in a position anymore where I’m out every weekend in boozy environments, maybe that would make people less inclined to be cool with it?

My goodness OP when I saw your thread title I certainly didn't expect you still to be in only in your 30s! You are a spring chicken compared to me.
Having said that well done you for cutting out alcohol.
The people who are questioning why you don't drink and who are making you feel uncomfortable about it aren't your friends. Your true friends are the people who are supporting you. True friends will be happy you are looking after yourself.
I discovered alcohol at 18. That it helped my painful shyness. I became part of a drinking culture when I went away to university and I ended up marrying an alcoholic. I left him when I was 30 because I knew if I didn't the drink would kill me. I gave up drinking, although since then I have gone through periods where I have used alcohol again. I don't think anyone has ever thought it strange when I don't drink alcohol. They just accept it. I must say I really can't stand being around drunk people now though. I had more than enough of that in my twenties
You do what is best for you OP.

Does it matter? If you need to stop drinking or cut down, surely hearing that everyone’s friends dropped them when they did isn’t going to stop you?

I have friends who get a bit arsey when we all go out and someone has decided not to drink. I think this attitude is totally unacceptable. I would like to cut down on drinking but 1 friend will be pissed off to some extent with me.. i would then get questions by this friend asking if i drink with DH or not. The sheer grief I would get stops me cutting it out completely tbh. And that is wrong

I did lose a lot of friends when I stopped drinking. Lots of people cared, lots of people had opinions (not that I asked). It’s fine though I made other friends, sometimes people are just for an era of your life.

I’m in my late 40 as are most of my friends, and we have all cut down massively as peri and menopause has hit. Just can’t handle it anymore! Not that we were going out partying and getting trashed before anyway, but now everyone might have a single glass of wine or none when we have dinner together, whereas before we would have had a few each.

Appreciate you are younger than that, but I certainly notice in my workplace lots of people don’t drink anymore. No one declares “I’m not drinking” or makes a song and dance out of it, just lots of 0% beers, mocktails and flavoured mineral or tonic water being ordered. I’d suggest the same to you - just order what you want without making a big fuss about “I’m not drinking”. It would be very rude of anyone to comment on it, but if they do you can say that’s what you are in the mood for.

Most of my friends and family have slowed down at the same time as me so it’s been an organic progression.