How do you fall out of love with someone?

9 replies

almay8830 · 20/02/2023 01:19

18 years ago I fell in love hard, and it's still there. Husbands and wives exist now as well as children, who I will always put first, but the love I felt then is just as hard now. I want it to disappear and I want to love my husband as much as I love this man, whom I fell in love with nearly 20 years ago. I always thought love was just a "feeling", but will I go through life not having real real love?

OP posts:

Summer2424 · 20/02/2023 03:43

Hi @almay8830 is there anything negative you can think of about the man you fell in love with back then?

NovelFarmer · 20/02/2023 03:49

What’s you definition of love?

Calistan · 20/02/2023 03:57

You are in love with a fantasy. Nobody with farts and annoying habits ( real people) will ever live up.

ShippingNews · 20/02/2023 04:06

There are all sorts of love. You think that this man is "the one", who you feel real real love for . That may be so, but honestly if you'd stayed with him, by now you'd probably be just comfortable , no big love feelings, just the day-to-day life with home and kids. It's easy to paint your early love as being so wonderful, but over time it would be unusual for that love to remain as it was . Personally I'd advise that you should keep that special love in a drawer in the back of your mind, something to keep you warm at night but not something to act upon.

Imogensmumma · 20/02/2023 04:44

By recognising it’s not love it’s a crush and a fantasy.

I would say that you need to examine your relationship with your husband , all must not be well as you are fantasising about a fictional relationship as a form of escapism

Emptycrackedcup · 20/02/2023 04:57

Gosh maybe you should pursue it, that sounds like an amazing love if it has lasted. Just make sure it's real and he feels the same way

Original poster

almay8830 · 20/02/2023 05:08

Calistan · 20/02/2023 03:57

You are in love with a fantasy. Nobody with farts and annoying habits ( real people) will ever live up.

Oh this!!! Thank you!

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LittleDitto · 20/02/2023 05:18

What’s the reason you’re not together now?

Do you think that if it was real love then nothing would have stopped you from being together during that time?

it’s awful when these things don’t go away, but especially after such a long time. But we are only human after all. Not robots! We can’t switch off our feelings.

I hope you’re ok.

Original poster

almay8830 · 20/02/2023 15:03

LittleDitto · 20/02/2023 05:18

What’s the reason you’re not together now?

Do you think that if it was real love then nothing would have stopped you from being together during that time?

it’s awful when these things don’t go away, but especially after such a long time. But we are only human after all. Not robots! We can’t switch off our feelings.

I hope you’re ok.

I just never felt the same. Sometimes you literally fall in love, but I want to fall out of love.

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