See? I told you it was me.
I just can't commit to making puddings, I'm sorry. That nice Chippy person, she liked making puddings. Why not see her for a bit.
[scrolls down mobile phone, finds Ready Made Pudding Date]
I'm sorry it didn't work out, but, you know. [shrugs] Maybe one day if we're both at a loose end we could hook up and you know, make a fairy cake or something? Just for the weekend, no ties or fancy icing, obviously.
[ God, I can't believe men actually think this sort of thing is effective? I feel like my sixth form boyfriend. It's unnerving]