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Original poster

How do I get 3 kids out of the door in the morning without SHOUTING?

30 replies

StickyNote · 25/06/2004 09:47

DS is 5, DD1 is 3 and at nursery in the mornings and dd2 is 1. However hard I try, I still end up shouting at somebody in order to get them out of the door in time. I'm trying with DS to get him to do more for himself and take responsibility but I end up having to nag him at every stage of getting ready. We get up in plenty of time but always end up rushing because of ds's getting sidetracked so easily. IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS!!!!!

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jampot · 25/06/2004 09:49

Sorry can't help you!!! Mine are older but I still need to shout - or I will just start alarming the house and then go and sit in the car and watch them panic!!

carla · 25/06/2004 09:51

StickyNote, if it's any consolation, I can't do it with two.

Original poster
StickyNote · 25/06/2004 09:53

I'm making such an effort not to shout the rest of the time but the mornings really defeat me. I hate dropping them off with throbbing temples.

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Original poster
StickyNote · 25/06/2004 09:54

Me , not them!

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beetroot · 25/06/2004 09:58

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jampot · 25/06/2004 10:00

piano practice..... in the mornings???????? WOW

Original poster
StickyNote · 25/06/2004 10:01

Thanks Beetroot, I do all of that apart from the piano practice! It's just the constant nagging to get every stage completed. But the fact that your kids are older and it now works maybe just means I've got to grin and bear it for a few more years . We already get up at 6.30!!!

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charliecat · 25/06/2004 10:01

I have been doing the school/nursery run with 2 kids for 3 years now and have only shouted twice, and that has been because I didnt have any fags and was desperate to get to the shops more than anything!
My advice is to leave all shoes, bags coats handbags purses, keys at the door you will all be leaving by, getting the clothes out before you kiss the kids goodnight and having the packed lunch things in the same place so even when your still half asleep you know when all the bits are.
Put all 3 kids in front of the tv and get them dressed, flanneled and brushed whilst they are watching brum or whatever and listen to your neighbours screaming at their kids and feel smug!
Dont expect your kids to do ANYTHING for themselves, if you want your 5 year old to get dressed leave him till last and if he has got half dressed praise him for it, if he hasnt just do it for him and be thankful he has got his shorts on.
HTH!

beetroot · 25/06/2004 10:02

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beetroot · 25/06/2004 10:05

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jema · 25/06/2004 10:07

star chart on inside of kitchen cupd door,
list of activities ie get dressed on own, brush teeth with out fuss / properly, have a column for being especially nice to other siblings / mummy,
let children put there own stars on chart (after u confirm they've earnt it) ..cheapy kiddies markers that print a star
u select the redemption rate, when they were small 1 star could equal a single smartie, they could earn upto 5 -1 for every process at breakfast.
5 years on we still have to do this when they resort to murder before breakfast, but 1 star is awarded for a fuss free breakfast, stars now = pocket money points..
good luck, remember stars can be crossed off too!!

lavender1 · 25/06/2004 10:07

StickyNote, agree with Beetroot (although I end up shouting at mine and rushing out of the door at the last minute quite a bit).

I try setting a routine, I say right we're going to have breakfast at 7.30am, get dressed at 8, be ready by 8.15am and then you can play/watch the telly. I'm much better at this when been to bed early and not so grouchy...btw this is what I'd like to be doing, don't do in practise as much as would like..

btw, you've got your hands full with 3 under 5's!!!, maybe just the breakfast at a certain time would be a good thing to start with, 7.30 ish, then gradually introduce other things, maybe in a few weeks/ months it may be second nature to you...but perhaps set it in your head that we must all be ready by 8.15am (as soon as you wake up, like an affirmation iykwim)...don't be too hard on yourself what you're doing is very normal (and mine are nearly 9 and 7 1/2), abit waffly but hope you get something out of it

charliecat · 25/06/2004 10:15

First thing in the morning when my 2 are half asleep is the only time they watch tv Beety and if it keeps them in the same spot while I get them ready for school its a good thing. If the tv was off they would be in different rooms and then I would be shouting Can you both get here please...then again and again till they actually arrived to be dressed. Too stressful.

Slinky · 25/06/2004 10:16

My 3 are 8.5, 6.5 and 4.5 - have been doing the school/nursery run for 6.5 years (jeezzzz where's that time gone??).

I get up at 6.30am - shower/dress myself. DS1 and DD2 get up about 7am whilst DD1 has to be "dragged" from her bed Whilst I'm making coffee/sorting breakfast stuff, they're washing faces/hands and getting themselves dressed. Obviously mine are older so that's easy for them but when they were younger, I would change baby's nappy/change clothes, and get DS1 dressed whilst the eldest was able to dress herself.

Always get clothes etc out ready the night before. I leave everything laid out in the lounge (they get dressed downstairs otherwise DD1 will distract herself with a book, whilst the other 2 mess around).

We then eat breakfast together (minus DH - he leaves at 5am), after which I pack lunch boxes (sandwiches always made night before and left in fridge).

Then we go upstairs - I clean DD2 teeth, whilst DD1 and DS1 do theirs. I inspect DD1s and then re-do DS1s Hair brushing (only DD2), DD1 will then escape to her bedroom to concoct some "fabulous" hairstyle - to which I then study and say "are you really going to school like that???" :0

I clean my teeth, finish drying my hair, shove some make-up on. By now, its usually 8.15am - TV can be switched on for the last 10 mins if they are absolutely ready to go, ie shoes on/coats ready/bookbags/lunch boxes by the door etc.

We're out of the door at 8.25am. If you do have the TV on the mornings - switch it off!! If it was on in our house, they would never be ready.

When DH has a day off in the week, he always laughs at my "sergeant major routine" - reckons I need to chill - but I have to have a routine to get the 4 of us out at 8.25am

SofiaAmes · 25/06/2004 10:17

bump off two of them.

I've only got two (3.5 and 1.5) and I find that races work pretty well. I tell the 3.5 year old that we're going to have a race and he gets himself dressed quickly while I dress the 1.5 year old. I guess at that age they don't tire of games, because we've been doing this for 6 months or so already. Then, while they are eating breakfast, I get myself dressed. Then we all brush teeth together. I find that sometimes I will put one in the car and latch him/her in and then go in and finish off the other. (We have a driveway, so I feel safe doing this).

I find the worst dilly dally'er is my dh.

Original poster
StickyNote · 25/06/2004 10:17

Thank very much for this - we have a pretty good routine already most mornings but it always falls apart 10 mins before we are due to leave when it's time for shoes, coats etc. I think a star or something for DS would work well, especially if it accumulated into something else . He also needs to be totally ready before he sits down to draw or whatever , to avoid the stress caused by "I'm just going to...."!!

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Original poster
StickyNote · 25/06/2004 10:20

And we don't have the telly on at all, but I like Slinky's idea of having it on for the last 10 mins if totally ready - that would be a very good incentive for ds!

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21stcenturygirl · 25/06/2004 10:21

Get a timer and let him have a race against it. I used to time every aspect of the morning rush for my DD1 (6) and now, if she doesn't do anything quickly, I threaten the timer on her. It works a treat. Good luck

Slinky · 25/06/2004 10:23

Actually my routine fell apart a bit this morning - all ready to go...then DS1 "reminded" me it was practice sports day!

Then it was find a hat/slap suncream on him/needed a bottle of drink. I was reading the school "checklist sheet" whilst he was standing there shouting "yes, yes"

DD1 has a habit of forgetting recorder/swimming kit/library books etc...even though I say "today is Friday....what do you have on today?".

gettingthere · 25/06/2004 10:33

smiley stickers for getting ready nicely. someone I know of put her child in the car in pyjamas (school clothes were already in the car) and let him think (only for a couple of minutes) that he would have to go to school in pyjamas. He has, apparently been on time since!

mine also like taking turns to unlock the car - first one ready gets to do it (this might not work given the age of yours - but DS might enjoy doing that)

beetroot · 25/06/2004 10:34

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Original poster
StickyNote · 25/06/2004 10:48

Ooh Beetroot, now you're talking! Then of course I would lie in bed and eat grapes while they worried about it

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beetroot · 25/06/2004 10:50

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Original poster
StickyNote · 25/06/2004 10:52

It's amazing how much better the clunk of a car door can make you feel sometimes. All those little mouths wide open but you can't hear anything

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pollyanna · 25/06/2004 10:57

Same as Beetroot, although we still have one shout when it comes to getting DS's shoes on. Found that getting dressed before breakfast helps, although sometimes that means weetabix down his school uniform!

(and sometimes dh takes ds to school which also helps alot).

btw StickyNote, you have the same combination of children/ages/sexes as me. (my mantra - it will get easier?!)