How do I tell her to stop licking her fingers if she is using my keyboard?

[Chandra]

It might be that time of the month, it may be the wether changes or the postion of the moon, but I can't cope with this anymore.

There's a woman at work who complained about feeling lonely in her side of the office and was granted the dubious right to use my computer on the days I don't work. The most annoying trait she has is that she is always licking her fingers, you can hear the "slurp" when she does it even from the other rooms.

Since she has been using my computer my keyboard is a mess, I confess to have a bag of desinfectant towels hidden in my desk, and normally I have to remove crisp debris, bread crumbs and greasy spots from keyboard and screen after my day off. And, she is always down with a bug or another!!!

Anyways, today I was particularly annoyed as I had to remove jam from it, and to add insult to injury, the other woman in the office came with a rash in her hands, a few hours later me too and when she saw us itching she said... "Oh but I had hand foot and mouth last week! and it all started like that!

So, I can't cope anymore! (sob*), any phrases I can use to keep her fingers away from her mouth at least when she is using my keyboard???? ARGGGGHHHH.....

Listen here ya dirty oul bitch... stop touching my feckin stuff right!!! Is that ok?

No?? Oh... ok then

Tell her you've got worms.

I'm starting to think in using rat paper on her keyboard, if she is stuck to it, she can come to use mine!

can't come to use mine..

....

I'm starting to think that by the title of this thread, you would think I'm talking of a 2 year old...

Put something really horrid tasting on everything around your computer and on the keyboard!

I did think you were talking about a child. But, YUK. That's disgusting. Think it's abit off to leave crumbs all over someone else's keyboard too.
And why is she licking her fingers?

tell you coworker that you don't always wash your hands after going to the loo because you don't see why on earth it is necessary.

yes i did think it was a two yr old you were talking about and why you were getting your knickers in a twist.

Unplug your keyboard and lock it in a drawer. If she wants to use your PC she can, but she'll have to move her own keyboard over to do it.

agree with st george.

Remember that stuff you could paint on nails to stop you biting them, maybe there's something like that for keyboards. Seriously though, if she won't be told, tell her that you've got dermatitis (sp) and have been told to keep contact with others to a minimum. Horrible Chandra. So sorry that you've got this hassle. Hope you doing okay btw.

Buy your own keyboard and take it in and swap them over when you're there- put the old one back when you're not there

how vile, I'm with you on finding it repulsive and very offputting

in workplaces such as garages where staff might be getting their hands dirty and then using the keyboard to produce an invoice, they sometimes have a clear plastic keyboard cover which presumably can be removed and cleaned and also stops crumbs etc getting inbetween the keys.

could you look into getting one of those ?

failing that I'd use ther dermatitis excuse

Wonder what sort of dermatitis may scare her off, she seemed not to be concerned about Hand foot and mouth!

May get a new keyboard, just need to find exactly the same model... she is always around and I really don't want to offend her (why not I will never know)