Domestic violence - you know it's going on, what do you do?

[Bucketsofdinosaurs]

Sorry if this is too close to the other thread but it got me thinking.
There was that ad campaign showing domestic violence happening as if under people's noses and people ignoring it.
What are you supposed to do if you know someone is in that situation and s/he refuses to change anything but expects you to go on as normal when the partner is around? Are you supposed to pretend everything's fine? Do you put her at risk iof more violence by behaving differently to the partner? Do you avoid them and leave her alienated and alone? It must be quite draining being the impotent shoulder to cry on - does there come a time when you have to cut ties?

Give her the support she needs,however if this was happening to a friend of mine her dp/dh would not be in my house for a second

you be there for her, you don't do anything that will put her in more danger but you don't ignore what is happening either. One day she may have the strength to get out and then you will be needed more than ever... until she/he is ready to do that all you can do is acknowledge it and be there.

In my work I come across dv situations alot and what shocks me is how readily people will accept it as 'normal' i.e 'she asked for it'; 'it happens on a saturday night but theyre fine the rest of the week its just what they do'; she gives as good as she gets (in other ways)

Message withdrawn

My head would want to make her confident to leave and treat it very gently My heart would want to arrange for my brothers,my dh and all the men friends I know to get him in dark ally and kick the living shit out of him with a promise of more if I ever heard he'd touched her again EVER!