Moving out of a city to the subs - pros and cons

[RuthT]

Okay so how do I convince dh to move out of London and move somewhere with a less hectic pace of life and where I can have second child and take time out of career.

What are the pros and cons

Do you only move to a place where you know at east two people?

Do you move into a big town?

What about the debates of moving close to decent feeder schools?

Will your DH still have to work in London?

We moved somewhere where we knew 3 people. Only 35 minutes from London on train, but the big decider for me was that DP doesn't have to commute to London. The town is full of people who do that, and i think that puts a huge pressure on families.

The other thing is if you move before kids or at least one kid starts school then you have a huge opportunity to meet people when they start.

Just seen Over the Hedge......don't do it!!!!!!!

Only joking. Never done suburbs TBH, town, city and back of beyond but I have to confess that I have a middle-aged yearning for a road with trees and no graffiti...

Pros (possibly) - less stress, trees,less noise, you can park!!
Cons (again possibly) - not such a sense of community, having to drive more often, curtain twitching.....

We moved to somewhere 1hr 45mins out of London, where we knew no-one 18months ago, pregnant with second child.

Was a difficult and challenging year but we love the better quality of life.We live in a busy town so still loads going on and within walking distance of things but not so crowded and hectic as london
good luck with whatever you decide to do

We live in a reasonable size town an hour from London.

I used to commute pre-children and a fair amount of people do. The trains are vastly improved since I used to do it too.

We have

Pros -
great schools - primary and secondary (only 1 secondary in town itself). There doesn't appear to be a bad school!
fab shops - everything you want is here
friendly people - the children know people through their childminder who chat to them
arts and sports easily available
great countryside and great play parks - we have 3 large places where children can play (fields and playgrounds where dogs aren't allowed)
safety
excellent doctors surgeries - same day appointments
lots of children activities - I didn't know any one pre-children
we are walking distance to shops, schools, friends, etc.
there is a big town nearby which should satisfy teenage desires - clubbing, more clothes shops, etc.

Cons -
not ethnically diverse - I don't think the children have picked up on it yet but the only Asian people I have seen run the corner shops, Chinese and Thai run the Chinese and Thai restaurants, etc. There are a lot of other nationalities though - Americans, Swedes, Dutch, etc.
the house prices are very expensive and not much different to places in London.
parking is hard.

So the negatives are few!

Depends what you mean by suburb. There is a big difference between Chiswick and Kingston and a big difference between Kingston and living somewhere in the Surrey commuter belt. Where ever you go near London, if its nice you will have to pay for it.

Would you still want tube access? How far are you prepared to commute? Do you want the benefits of a big town nearby. How important is open space? Do you want to be able to walk to the shops?

I wouldn't bother about knowing other people - if you have a new baby you should be able to meet new people. Also, if you are not moving too far from London you should still be able to see your old friends easily.

Depends which place you move to, but a small commuter town will feel suburban after London.

Pros: good schools, more relaxed pace of life, bigger/better house and garden for your money, knowing people in your community, countryside, green spaces and room to breathe. Lower crime rates.

Cons: Cost and hassle of commuting (although it can be faster to travel in than to cross London). You can choose your location to make sure you get a seat on the train!

Small town vibe - not as cosmopolitan as London. Slower pace of life can be a bad thing in some ways, depending on your point of view.

Gem13's lists are almost identical to mine except we have a residents' parking scheme so parking is a doddle.

Can also say that town-1hr-from-London is in some ways preferable to the outer London suburb where I grew up - it actually takes about the same amount of time to get to central London but you need to do it much less as the nearby teenage-desire-satisfying larger town has ballet/theatre/museums etc.

Public transport is almost as good as it it was in outer London.

Oh, and we knew no-one in the town we moved to but have several friends within an hour's drive so weren't the wrong end of the country iyswim, also being only an hour from London means we still go in to see London friends and they come out to see us.

I am not in Central London, more of a Chiswick type place. And was thinking of Cambridgeshire/poss village near Cambridge itself.

i think I'd have to give up my jon and dh would need to travel more - unless I could get a job in Cambs - but that would defeat the purpose of moving out - reducing hours and better quality/balance of work and home

My ideal town near Cambridge is Saffron Walden. I used to have relatives who lived there. Not sure how practical the commute is though.

I the point about ethnic diversity is really important. I live in London and year to move out but when we visit friends / relatives out of town I'm always struck by how homogenous it is - a bit dull really.

I am sure that this will change with time but it's a real consideration for us.

I want DS to grow up with children from other cultures and ethnic groups and you don't get that in small villages.

Commute to London from Cambridge is pretty good

Traffic in Cambridge is shocking though

Agree about lack of ethnic diversity outside London as well. One of the main reasons why we binned out move out, together with the lack of sophisticated restaurants/facilities within a reasonable distance.

Agree about lack of ethnic diversity outside London as well. One of the main reasons why we binned out move out, together with the lack of sophisticated restaurants/facilities within a reasonable distance.

oops

where we live is perfect (if I say so myself!) down a single track lane in a small hamlet but within 2 miles of a decent town with good shops and plenty going on if you want it.

It's so quiet, brilliant neighbours, no crime to speak of resulting in cheaper insurances. My kids are grown up but I would have loved to brought them up around here.

We moved out of London to Cambirgde and so did a lot of our freinds. It's a great place to live, loads of parks and activities, especially for the kids in summer.

Schools are fab, easy commute into Kings Cross of Liverpool St.

Some lovely villages around Cambridge, South more expensive than North.

OMG blueshoes - DH has a phobia about badrestaurants in small towns. I know that sounds really awful but it's one of the things putting him off

sandradee . That was my dh's gripe as well. It is possible to drive to good restaurants, of course. But we got too spoilt by the wide selection of diverse cuisine at our London doorstep within buggy distance.

Hi everyone, great thread. Perhaps some of you could put my mind to rest on something. We are looking to buy a place round the towns south of Cambridge. Somevof the houses seem quite isolated e.g. Like poster above, down a track outside of a Hamlet. I love these houses but being a cynical city girlnwho has been a victim of crimeva few times I keep looking at these houses thinking that maybe they are selling because they are sick of being ransacked by burglars who see them as easy targets! how cynical is that? It would be great to hear if this was not the case as currently I am overlooking these properties for ones in a street of others. I haven't lived in the uk for 13 years and we are looking to return next year so obviously my view of the uk has been influenced b the news in tatty rags like the notw ;)